Midwifery as a Calling

Dr. Ellis Ship and her "sister-wives"
Image Source

Did you know that the early days of the Mormon church, midwifery was a spiritual calling? That a woman was called to be a midwife by priesthood authority, often after having been nominated by the Relief Society, and set apart by the laying on of hands. She was usually set apart by a General Authority of the church, if available, and the calling was for life, much like the calling of Patriarch.

Interested?

I've been doing a lot of research about early Mormon midwifery and women's birth experiences for the book I am helping with. I have some incredible stories.

Read more about it on my guest post "Midwifery as a calling" at The Gift of Giving Life.

I'm a Hypenator

This week I went to a dinner to commemorate the director of the Women's Research Institute (WRI) at BYU. The WRI is being dissolved (which is tragic and such a step backwards!) and so the director, Bonnie, is "retiring". It was a bitter sweet evening. I loved getting to see all the amazing women I worked with for almost 4 years when I was a research assistant there, but like a funeral there was that underlying sadness that is hard to rise above. They asked if I would speak for a few minutes about what Bonnie and the WRI have meant in my life. This is what I wrote. I wanted to share it because it is the best tribute I can make to an amazing woman and an amazing institution. Also, because I thought that it was time I let you all in on my deep, not so dark, secret....

I have a hyphen in my last name. I put it in on a whim just after I got married. It wasn’t a pre-thought out decision. When the lady at the social security office gave me the form to write my new married name on I wrote both my maiden name and my married name in the last name box, then in a moment of panic I quickly put a sloppy hyphen in between them and slid it under the window. As I walked out of the office I couldn’t believe what I had just done. Part of me secretly hoped that the social security office wouldn’t notice the hyphen and forget to put it in. No such luck, a few weeks later I got my social security card and there was my new name with a big hyphen in the middle. My husband of just a few weeks took one look at it (I hadn’t told him about the hyphen yet) started to laugh and said “I knew it, I just knew it. You are one of those hyphenators.”

And I guess I am…. Whatever that means.

My dear friend and mentor is also one of “those hyphenators”, and perhaps she is the reason my subconscious decided I needed to have a hyphen in my name. Through her example and friendship she taught me that there are as many different ways to be a woman as there are woman in this world and that we each having something beautiful and valuable to contribute. She and the WRI came into my life when I needed them the most. I was young and struggling with what it meant to be a woman. She guided me, loved me and showed me how to find a beautiful balance in my life. In truth, she gave me my hyphen—the ability to find unity and peace within myself and with my place in the world. Instead of letting opposing and contradicting ideas or identities tear me apart I’ve been able to use my hyphen bridge the gap and find peace between them. For example, because of the hyphen I am now a mother who is a feminist, married but independent, a stay-at-home mom with a career, a believer who questions, and a supportive wife with two last names.

In the last few years I’ve thought a lot about this hyphen in my name. I still don’t know exactly why I put it in. I don’t use it socially and the only time it shows up is on super official documents like my taxes and school transcripts. Sometimes I want to take it out but then something in me rebels against it. I think deep down inside I really like my hyphenated identity. Not only does the hyphen symbolically unify my pre-marriage identity with my marriage identity but it has helped me look at the world in a different way. I’ve come to realize that most women lead "hyphenated lives" and that they are constantly trying to find ways to unify the many facets of their lives. They struggle to balance and juggle contradictions and complexities. Discovering how to unify their experiences, culture, and ancestry with their dreams, thoughts and passions. I’ve realized that it is a never-ending challenge for a woman to learn how to unify her many identities and that perhaps that is the struggle and joy of being a woman... learning to find the balance and peace between your hyphens.

I think that the hyphen is the greatest gift Bonnie and the Women’s Research Institute have given me; the knowledge that there is no one right way to be a woman and that a woman who is unified and at peace within herself is able to be a powerful instrument in the hands of God. Bonnie is a beautiful instrument and God has worked powerful and beautiful miracles through her. I will be forever grateful for this amazing woman, for her strength, her faith, her intelligence and her love. I’ve learned important eternal lessons from watching her balance her motherhood, her career, her trials, her friendships and her passions. She is an angel in her own way and I want her to know that her example has influenced and shaped my life in an incredible way. I am a woman at peace within myself and with my hyphens because of her guidance and I hope and I promise that I will teach my tiny six-month old daughter some of what Bonnie taught me. We will continue to work towards a world where men and women have true peace... and not just tolerance and coexistence. Thank you Bonnie. I love you.

Creating Disciples

I never wanted to me a mother who spanked her children. I got spanked as a child and while I don't think it scarred me permanently, it was humiliating and hurtful. Spanking has always seemed a bit hypocritical to me... why just because I'm bigger is it okay for me to get angry and hit him for hitting his sister... and I always told myself I wouldn't do it. Yet, several times in the last week when Asher has loved his sister way too violently and I'm afraid he might have inflicted permanent brain damage on her, I've lost my cool and pulled down his diaper and given him a good swat on the bottom. Almost immediately I've regretted it and watching him cry and tell me "no hit, mama no hit" has just about broken my heart. One particular time after I spanked him I looked into his tear filled eyes and the spirit whispered to my heart that if I kept this type of discipline up I would eventually loose this little boy when he was older.

That revelation scared me and since then I've really been praying and studying about how to be a good parent... specifically about how to teach my children self-control and how to listen and obey. I read a really great book called "The Soft Spoken Parent" by H. Wallace Goddard and he pointed out that God never really punishes us but that we just feel the consequences of our action. Instead God "nurtures" and "admonishes" us. I love those two words, nurture and admonish, they seem so much more doable to me than heavy words like "discipline" and "punish". I've been thinking a lot about nurturing and admonishing and feel like those are things I can do and feel good about. I can nurture the qualities I want to see in my son-- kindness, loving, gentleness, determination, honesty, integrity, curiosity-- by praising him, encouraging and rewarding good behaviors, being an example to him, and recognizing his divine talents and spirit. I can also admonish or correct those behaviors I don't want to see him develop--- force, spite, jealously, greed-- by teaching him what is right and wrong, modeling correct behaviors, chastising at times but then showing forth more love after wards. I can do those things!

The other big revelation I have had on discipline is that the root word of discipline is "disciple" and that no matter how hard I try I will never be able to "discipline" my son. He is the only one who can make himself a "disciple" and choose to follow and obey. I can't force or punish him to get him to do what is right. I can only nurture and admonish him and help guide him towards the true Light of Christ and... eventually... he will choose to do what is right and he will be a true disciple. I know that the world my two little ones will be growing up in is going to be wicked and hard, really hard, and that they are going to have internal discipline much earlier than I or my parents ever had to have and I want to help them develop that. I want them to have a discipline that comes deep from inside their souls so that when I am not around they will still know what is right and will want to do it because the love and understand both their earthly and heavenly parents.

I've also realize that to teach discipline I need to be a better disciple myself of Jesus Christ. I need to learn to control my temper and to not ever punish or "discipline" when I am angry or out of control. My new parenting mantra is "only act out of love" if I am feeling angry and... to say the least... not full of love then I'm not allowed to admonish or chastise. I can't ever imagine our Heavenly Father loosing His cool and striking me down with lightening because He got frustrated with me. He is much more patient and loving than that and I want to become more like Him. But being a parent is hard... harder than I ever expected and I have a feeling that it just gets harder from here on out!

About two second after I took this picture he dumped his sister of the floor.
She bumped her head so hard she threw up. It was one of those moments in which I wish I would have been filled with more love.

What ways have you found to "nurture" and "admonish" your children that have worked to help them become disciples and learn self-control?

Spanish Mattress Commerical

This is such a beautiful ad. If I were really rich I would love to do more mainstream ads like this so that American women could see how normal, peaceful and beautiful birth can be... that it isn't all fear, drama, and screaming. Also I love this ad because there is something so deeply beautiful and intimate about a baby being born in the same bed or house in which he was conceived. Too bad that I don't think this type of ad would fly in the US... maybe someday.



Thanks to Musing of a Redhead for this video

Overwhelmed

Tonight as I was holding Rose and singing

to Asher

I looked in their eyes

and I realized that there are huge spirits inside

those tiny bodies

I saw wisdom shine out through their eyes

I saw love

and knowledge

and it humbled me to think that these great spirits

have put their faith

in me

to lead and guide them to the Light

I'm overwhelmed

and I can't help but wonder who they really are

eternally.

Bread Making Tips

Ever since Jon and I got married I've been trying to learn how to make good wheat bread. To say the least... it has been an adventure. We've eaten more dense wheat bricks over the last four years than we have moist, delicious slices of bread. But I'm getting better... much better.

My Dad's new wife is a really good bread maker and over Christmas I watched her make bread. I've discovered that you really have to watch someone make bread to learn how they do it because invariably they don't always follow the recipe or they do something important that they won't ever tell you. Anyway, after her lesson my bread has been turning out so wonderful. I still have a lot to learn about 1,000 more loaves of bread to make before I feel like an expert but I thought I'd share with you some of the things she taught me (or that I've learned from my grandma who is also an bread baker extraordinaire) that have made a big difference in my bread making. Please feel free to add any other tips that you have!

1) Keep your yeast in the freezer and only use SAF yeast. This is the best type of yeast and it keeps longer and best in the freezer not the fridge.

2) Start your bread by adding your warm water, 3 cups of flour, and your yeast. Mix it together on low till it makes a slurry. You can also add in the honey/sugar and oil now too if you want. The slurry seems to make the yeast activate well and I've noticed that if I skip this step my bread won't rise very high.

3) After you have all the ingredients mixed in, except the flour, start the mixer on low and then SLOWLY add the rest of the flour. Don't turn the mixer up to high until you've added quite a bit of flour. The slow setting stretches the gluten fibers in the wheat resulting in moist fluffy bread. When you can tell that your machine is having a hard time mixing it and you can see the gluten fibers stretching then turn it up to high and continue adding the flour slowly.

4) Don't ever follow the recipe to determine how much flour to put in. Just keep adding flour slowly until the dough pulls away from the sides of the bowl. You want enough flour to clean the sides off but not so much that your dough isn't sticky.

5) Let the dough mix on high for 10 min. Don't worry if your dough is semi-sticky because during this ten minuets it will start to get less sticky. If it is still really sticky after five minutes of mixing add a little bit more flour.

6) Don't add your dough enhancer until after all your flour is added and your dough has been kneading for at least 5 minutes. You want to make sure your gluten fibers are good and activated before you add the enhancer.

7) Heat up your oven to about 175 degrees (or just warmish) and then turn it off. Stick your loaves in there to rise. After they have risen leave them in the oven while you heat it up to 350 degrees-- don't count on them rising more once you've heated up the oven because sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. Also if you start the bread in a cold oven you'll need to cook it for five minutes longer than the recipe calls for.

8) Eat at least one slice of bread, preferably with butter and honey, immediately after it comes out of the oven.... oooh, yum!

Okay so there are all my bread making hints. They have made a big difference for me but I know that bread making differs at every elevation and temperature so you might have to experiment to find out what works for you. My dad's wife also suggested taking a bread making class at your local Bosch store which I think would be a great idea because you really have to see bread made well to learn how to make it.

Hmm.. perhaps I should have got a better picture.
I took this picture of the bread a few days after I made it and it had gotten a little squished on top.
So use your imagination and picture it super fresh and steamy.

Here is my favorite bread recipe that I got from my Grandma. It is half white and half wheat and even though I really like whole wheat bread this is by far my favorite because it is usually really moist and light.

My Grandma's Half and Half bread

2 1/2 cups warm water
1 TBSP salt
1/4 cup vegetable oil or applesauce
1/4 cup honey
1 TBSP dough enhancer
1 1/2 TBSP gluten flour
1 TBSP yeast
3 cups white bread flour (not just white flour but BREAD flour-- it really does make a difference)
3 cups whole wheat flour (may need more to get to right consistency)

Let rise for 30 min and bake at 350 degrees for 30 mins.

The Wonder Weeks: Book Review

When Asher was about 9 months old he went through a phase where he wouldn't sleep at night. It just about drove me crazy and resulted in one of my worst nights as a mother. Later my wonderful doula cousin-in-law Liz told me about sleep regression, which happens when a baby is making some huge cognitive developments. I started researching sleep regression and kept stumbling across people who had nothing but praise for this book...

This is really an incredible book. I think it has done more to help me as a mother than any other parenting book I've read...besides the scriptures. The whole premise of the book is that babies go through mental or cognitive growths spurts just like they go through physical growth spurts. Usually a few weeks before a baby makes a physical "leap" forward they also make a mental "leap" forward which is characterized by a fussy, clingy and sleepless baby. This is a time when a baby's whole world is changing and they don't know how to cope with it yet so they cling to what is safe and familiar... mom, milk, being held, dad, etc... This is kind of hard for adults to understand but just imagine if every few months you gained a new sense, like all of a sudden you could hear twice as far or could smell things a half mile away, it would really change your world and make it kind of a scary place. Those are the types of changes a baby goes through every few months and with which they have to learn how to cope. They are the times your baby needs you the most. The book points out several different leap periods (you can see a chart of them here) when babies make the biggest cognitive developments. The dates are based off the baby's conception date so if your baby was born "early" or "late" then the dates might be off 3-6 weeks.

When I picked up this book at the library a few weeks ago Rose was in a really fussy period, she wasn't sleeping well, she always wanted to be held, and she cried about everything. I was kind of going batty. When I read this book I realized that she was right in the middle of the "World of Events" leap and that the reason she was fussy wasn't because she was a "bad" baby or because I was a "bad" mother but because her world was changing and she didn't know how to deal with it. Knowing this COMPLETELY changed the way I approached her fussiness. Instead of getting frustrated and frazzled by her neediness and crying I understood what she was going through and was able to use some of the suggestions the book gave for helping her through her challenging time. It really was incredible. I could almost see the little cogs turning in her head and when she finally emerged on the other side of her fussy period I wasn't surprised at all that she was all of sudden a bit more grown up and aware of how her world worked.

I wish I'd had this book with Asher... it would have saved me a lot of grief. It actually kind of breaks my heart now when I think back how during some of his leap periods I was so frustrated and so at a loss for what to do that I let him cry himself to sleep--- when really what he needed was to know he was safe, loved and that the world wasn't as scary as it appeared. (PS. There are other times I've let him cry it out and haven't felt a bit bad about it, there are times when really he just needed to cry) I don't think he suffered any permanent damage but I just need to remember that now, as a two-year-old, he is still making cognitive "leaps" and that instead of getting frustrated I need to find constructive ways to help him through them. This book helped to remind me that even though my children are little and can't communicate well they are still human beings who have complicated emotions, thoughts and feelings and that it is my job to be patient and to help them make sense of this confusing world.

Here is my little nursling just a few weeks past her "world of events" leap, more grown up and happy then ever. Her next leap is the "world of relationships" and this time I am actually kind of excited for her fussy period because I know what is coming and what I can do to help her.

The Book Project

In my last post I tagged one of the girls that I am working on a book with and I realized that I haven't ever mentioned the project and that most of you don't know what I've been up to... unless of course you see me on a regular basis and then you are probably sick of hearing me talk about it!

Well... back in December I met two incredible ladies through my Women in the Scriptures blog who both write blogs about the spirituality of birth (Mother Earth writes the blog "The Gift of Giving Life" and Buscando la Luz writes the blog "Birth Faith"). I found out that they were collecting birth stories from LDS women who had positive or spiritual experiences during birth and that they were planning on publishing a book for LDS women about the spiritual nature and power of birth. I sent Mother Earth Roses' birth story and chatted with them both through blogs and emails. After reading several of the things I'd written about Eve (here) and Mary (here) on my blog they asked if I would want to contribute to the book. Are you kidding... YES!

We've been collecting stories, sharing ideas and working on drafts the last few months and it has really been an incredible experience working with these amazing women. There are six of us total that are working on the book and we live all over the country. Several of us have never met but through the miracle of the Internet we now feel like good friends. We all have different strengths and perspectives and it is making for a pretty incredible product. Rixa who writes the blog "Stand and Deliver" is another one of the women working on the book and the other two don't have blogs but you can take my word that they are pretty incredible women as well. We are hoping to have the book published in the next year or so and after that there is a movie (along the same lines as the book) in the works and possibly much more. It is really exciting and it feels like God has brought us all together to do something important. I know for me at least it has been a direct answer to my prayers and I am humbled, and a bit intimidated, to be numbered among such amazing women.

The book is going to include stories about women who birth in all different ways-- medicated, home, c-section, unassisted-- and they are still collecting stories. So no matter how you birthed your children if you are LDS and have a spiritual insight to share about pre- conception, pregnancy, labor or postpartum PLEASE send it to ldsbirthstories@gmail.com

Oh, and if you want a little taste of what I am going to be contributing to the book you can read my post "The Importance of Birth" on my other blog.

Five Treasured Items

Forever ago, like way back before Rose was born, one of my blogging buddies Christy tagged me and I never did it. Then just a few weeks ago Destiny tagged me on my Women in the Scriptures blog and I figured that perhaps it was time I did it. But I've taken a blogging liberty and am going to make up my own type of tag because... well I want to.

So here is my tag-- Post your five most treasured items. These should be"things" (ie. kids, animals, foods don't cut it) that if your house burnt down or got washed away by a tsunami you would really miss. Then tag whoever you want-- and if you want to do this and I don't tag you... do it!

So here are my five

#1 My scriptures

Poor things have been loved too well. My dad got these for me right after I got married (four years in two weeks... whoohoo!) and I'm afraid the might not make it another year. I'm dreading getting new scriptures because they won't have all my markings. Does anyone know if you can get scriptures rebound?

#2 Jon's Picture

Jon drew this picture for me the Christmas we got married. I love it. If you look closely at the leaves you'll see that each one has a memory written on it.

One time when we were first married someone (I won't divulge who) got angry and threw a wet dish rag at it. It fell and the glass shattered, tearing part of the picture. I bawled and bawled and thought for sure it was a sign our marriage was doomed. The next day it was hanging back in our kitchen. Jon had fixed it and said that now no matter what came at it wouldn't break because he had put Plexiglas in instead of glass. Every time I look at it I remember that our marriage is virtually shatterproof.

#3 My Kangaroo Baby

I made this in a ceramics class in college. The assignment was to make a plant pot shaped like an animal. I worked so hard on this and he still makes me smile every time I see him. He used to hold a plant but lately he's been holding hair ribbons and diapers.

#4 My red wedding shoes

For my wedding I wanted to wear red shoes, but I couldn't find any red ones that weren't old grandma looking. Eventually I found these on ebay and they were perfect. They have to be the most gorgeous pair of shoes I've ever owned. When we were dancing at our wedding dinner I felt like such a princess in them. Yes, they killed my feet but sometimes beauty has a price... and they were SO worth it.

Also, I know I don't have this anymore and technically it is considered a food, which means I am breaking my own rules, but I LOVED my wedding cake. My mother-in-law made it and it surpassed all my wildest dreams.

#5 The Ugly Rocking Chair

We rescued this from Jon's uncle's attic. At first I thought it was hideous, it still kind of is, but it is it is surprising VERY comfortable... for a wooden chair. There is nothing better than rocking babies to sleep in it. I've had some precious moments in this chair. So hideous or not, it is staying for as long as it holds together.

Okay so now here are the people I tag:

1) My little sister-- who just started a blog and it is beautiful, intelligent and witty... like her

2) Funkyhan-- who is my British blog buddy. I get a kick out of her blog and like reading it with a British accent... for some reason I love it that she calls vacuuming "hoovering" hee... hee.

3) Buscando la Luz-- one of the beautiful girls that is working with me on the book (oh, I haven't told you all about the book... ooh I'll have to post that soon)

4) elesahag-- whose blog is hilarious... she is the type of funny that I wish I could be.

5) Mommy D-- a friend from college who I actually am now better friends with now through blogging than I ever was when I knew her "for real"

Speaking Asherish

Asher has started to become quite the articulate little boy. He is constantly surprising us with what he says, like tonight at dinner I mentioned counting to Jon and all of sudden Asher held up his fingers and said, "un, two, eee, our" followed by something that sounded like "monsters walking cross the floor". I think perhaps we have watched that Feist Sesame Street clip way too many times ;) It is also really fun that he is starting to be understood by people who don't speak "Asherish", even though most of the time I still have to translate what he says for the general public. Here is brief introductory course to the complicated, and sometimes frustrating, language of Asherish.

He says: "bootball day"

He means: football game... specifically this football game.

Ash came down one night when Jon and I were watching this ( a FANTASTIC movie by the way) and has been slightly obsessed with it since. We gave it back weeks ago but at least once a week he asks to watch the "bootball day".

He says: "T.J."

He means: Horse

Our neighbors down the street have a horse named T.J. During the summer whenever Asher and I would take a walk we would go visit T.J. and feed him apples. Now all horse are T.J.'s. It is really cute because whenever we drive past the coral where T.J. lives Asher always calls out "Hi, T.J.!" or tells me "T.J. sleepin."

He says: "Bee"

He means: Any sort of bug (but not butterflies)

Asher is pretty fascinated with bugs. I got him a bug book awhile ago and now his favorite thing to do is to point to one of the many "bees" and then pretend to pick it up and eat it. He always wants me to "eat" bees too and giggle at the icky face I make. Oh and on a different note my SIL is on a mission in Botswana and she sent home something called Panni Worms (basically big fat dried caterpillars) and on New Years Eve I ate one! Well, almost I crunched it but couldn't swallow it-- I think I would have thrown it back up-- it tasted like kitty litter, used kitty litter.

He says: "Bampa show"

He means: Grandpa Show (ie. Mr. Kruegar's Christmas)

I am usually VERY strict about not listening to Christmas music, watching Christmas movies or reading Christmas books in the Christmas off season, but this is one where my will has been bent, yet again, to a little two-year-old. If the Bampa show can get me 1/2 more quiet time then we will be watching it all the way until next Christmas!

He says: "basketball"

He means: a basketball or anything that remotely looks like a basketball... such as a clementine.

I also discovered several months ago that basketball is kind of a comfort word for him. He was having a really rough night and nothing Jon or I could do would get him calmed down, so we let him cry for awhile in his bed. At first he cried, "Mom, Mom" but when I didn't come he started with the "Dad, Dad" and when Dad didn't come he started with the "Basketball, Basketball." Obviously the basketball must have worked because he calmed down pretty soon afterward!

He says: "baybe dyin"

He means: baby's crying

Okay, so I know she isn't crying in this picture, but I don't have any of her crying. I think I need to get one of her crying because it is just so adorable.

He also calls Rose "Baybe Row".

He says: "Heaver"

He means: Heather

This picture was taken back in July but it is really the only flattering picture I have of me lately

It is really funny but lately Asher has been calling me by my first name. If I don't answer to "mama" within his allotted 10 second time frame he starts hollering for "Heaver." He doesn't call Jon by his first name so I don't know where he picked this up. It is rather amusing and a tad embarrassing when he does it in public.

He also says Peeezzze (Please), Wuz tha? (What's that?), Upen et (open it) and I kick et (said to any and all things he wants to kick). Also in the last few days he has also started to say "Thank you mama" when I give him things-- without me having to prompt him. It melts my heart and when he asks like that I would give him the world... or at least another fruit snack.

You Know You're a Mother When...

The Musical Potty Deer

Jon wanted to buy Asher one of these

The Potty Pal Musical Deer "which features 24 euphonic tones (like Mozart and Beethoven) and 4 music buttons so that your child can change the music at anytime."

Yeah.

I had visions of a naked ragamuffin "riding" his potty around the house and his mother following behind with a can of carpet cleaner and hot water... not so thrilling. Besides there was something about my son peeing on a plastic deer that just made me feel weird.

So we compromised and bought him a much "tamer" singing potty by Fisher Price.

Not only is it musical but it must be magical too. We couldn't get Asher anywhere near the toilet but now he loves to go "poo poo". As ridiculous as they seem I am now an advocate for singing potties. Asher isn't anywhere near potty trained and we aren't really pushing it but this little seat has made him so excited about it. We've had it about a month and he is getting SO good at letting us know when he needs to go. Yesterday he only went through ONE diaper!

Though I haven't been able to get him to go #2 on it yet. Do any other Moms have hints or suggestions about how to get the #2 action flowing? Hee.. hee.. aren't you glad I just shared this all with you.

Health Care is a Human Right

Several months ago on NPR I was listening to a conversation about immigration and health care. One woman said something to the effect of, " I think it is a joke that people who aren't even citizens of this country can get on Medicaid. I don't want any of my tax dollars going towards those people."

I've been stewing over this comment for several weeks and seeing as yesterday was Human Rights Day here in the US I decided that it was a good time to put words to my thoughts.

First of all this woman's comment made me really angry. I realize that there are people, citizens and non-citizens, who take advantage of the welfare system but I think that majority of the people who are using the resources really need them. In my opinion things like education, decent housing, food, and adequate health care are basic human rights that every person, regardless of citizenship status, nationality, language or ability is entitled to have. I believe it is our responsibility as fellow human beings, and children of God, to make sure that others have the same opportunities that we do and aren't denied basic human rights because of poverty or nationality.

Article 25 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights says:

• Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services, and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his control.
• (2) Motherhood and childhood are entitled to special care and assistance. All children, whether born in or out of wedlock, shall enjoy the same social protection.

I especially believe that the right to adequate health care is a basic human right and that it is really disgraceful that there are millions of Americans who are unable to afford health care and insurance or have health insurance that won't cover their needs.

I think I feel so strongly about this because not only am I personally uninsured right now because we can't afford health insurance for me (the option my husband gets through his school would cost more than our house payment a month and a private plan with the most lousy coverage...10,000+ deductible... would cost me $150 a month) but also because I've had someone very near and dear to me hit rock bottom and almost become homeless. She needed mental health care desperately and as I struggled to find some way to help her I realized that even though we have lots of government programs they have holes in them and there are many people who become homeless or poverty stricken because they fall through the gaps in our program coverage. I realized that for those who are at "rock bottom" it really takes some sort of miracle to help them get back on their feet because our programs don't do nearly enough. Luckily, my loved one got a miracle and after going through all that with her I now have NO problem paying taxes that support programs like food stamps, subsidized housing, medicaid and WIC because I know that there are people who really really need them.

I get a little discouraged when health care legislation gets "hung up" because people start throwing the word "socialized" around as a scare tactic. Personally I would have no problem with a "socialized medical" system because I think that it would ensure that all people would have some sort of access to medical care. We have a socialized education system and Americans don't really seem to mind that. True, our public education isn't always the best but I think that most Americans would agree that it is better to have some sort of universal education system in place than none at all. Any sort of education gives people a chance at a better life and develops them as people, and the rich will always be able to afford something better if they aren't satisfied with the public option.

Imagine what the US would be like today if people were only educated if they could pay for it. What sort of electorate would we have? How many more social problems would we have? How much bigger the gap between the rich and the poor would be? It is kind of a scary picture. Americans have already accepted the fact that education is a basic human right and can see that our country is better because all people are able to receive an education. When are we going to realize that health care is a basic human right and our country would be better if all people were able to receive health care, not just those that can afford it?

This is a topic that really hits a nerve in my spirit and I don't think that as Americans we can consider ourselves a "civilized" or "Christian" nation when we don't take care of our sick, our poor, and our disabled. So this Human Rights Day I said a little prayer that sometime in the very near future that somehow our government and people will find a way to fill in all the gaps and wake up to our responsibility as human beings to provide our brothers and sisters with the basic human rights they deserve.

Also if anyone knows of a good way for me to find affordable health insurance, that doesn't involve me getting pregnant so I can qualify for Medicaid, please let me know!

Look-a-like

Whenever people ask who we think Rose looks like we say... ASHER.

Here are pictures of both of them around 2-3 months in the same bouncy chair.

Asher

Rose

One more time...

Asher

Rose

What do you think?

Do they look similar?

Even if they are complete opposites in temperament?

I think my mother- in- law said it best. As she was holding Rose and Asher was running around with his boundless energy she said, "Rose is such a peaceful baby and you really deserve a peaceful baby. Because while Asher is many wonderful things he isn't peaceful." Amen to that. Lets just hope Rose is still peaceful when she's 14.

Guess What We Had for Sunday Dinner?

I've known for awhile that we had too many roosters (3) and too few hens (7) and that I would probably have to do something, eventually, before my boys started fighting each other or stressing the ladies out with their friskiness. I really didn't want to get rid of any of them and I guess I was hoping that they would all find a way to coexist in peace.

But alas, my dreams of chicken coop peace were shattered several days ago when Jon came back from the chicken coop with a bloodied up rooster. I guess there had been quite the cockfight in our little coop because the other rooster was pretty cut up as well. So we had to get rid of a rooster. I was all for selling him on craigslist but Jon was pretty adamant that we should eat him.

We'd half joked about eating our chickens when the time came but weren't really sure if we could do it. When the time finally came Jon said that if we couldn't kill and eat our own chicken then we had NO business being able to buy it nicely saran wrapped at the grocery store. He said that we only had two choices that wouldn't make us hypocrites... we'd either have to kill and eat the chicken or become vegetarians. He was dead serious about both.

So we ate the rooster.

Jon killed it and did most of the cleaning. I offered to help, cleaning birds doesn't really phase me much because in High School I had my falconry license, but I think he really needed to do it by himself. I think he was kind of testing himself. I really believe that if he couldn't have done it or if it had been too traumatizing for him that he really would have become a vegetarian.

Jon said the experience was emotionally draining but that it wasn't as bad as he expected. The only weird part was that the chicken's skin was blue. I guess Silkie chickens are an exotic breed that have blue skin under their feathers and are considered to be a real delicacy in China. It kind of weirded Jon out but I didn't really mind.

It was actually a really humbling experience to eat our chicken. When I said the prayer over the food, for one of the first times in my life, I sincerely felt grateful. I was deeply grateful to this chicken who gave its life for us and grateful for the privileged to have food. Seeing first hand the sacrifice that went into my meal, and all the hard work involved to get it to the table, really changed the whole eating experience for me. Instead of being a blob of saran wrapped flesh at the grocery store that I was totally disconnected to, this was a living creature that I owed something to. I found myself less willing to let any of the chicken go to waste. We ate as much as we needed and then we boiled down the rest to make chicken soup with. Throwing the left overs in the garbage somehow seemed completely and utterly wrong. I think that if I was to be this connected to all my food, especially my meat, that I would eat less and be better at eating all things in moderation. The scripture in D&C 89:12 keeps coming to mind:

"Yea, flesh also of beasts and of the fowls of the air, I, the Lord, have ordained for the use of man with thanksgiving; nevertheless they are to be used sparingly."[emphasis added]

When our other chickens reach the end of their laying days (usually about 2 or 3 years old) we will probably eat them too. It really isn't the most fun job or one that we really look forward to but it seems like the right thing to do. This experience has really changed how I feel and look at my food and I don't think that I will ever be able to eat chicken, from the grocery store or my own yard, the same way again. I just feel so much more grateful and aware of the sacrifice animals make and our responsibility to be wise stewards over the earth and the animals God has given to us.

I Feel Like Such a Grownup.

We just got our census... our VERY OWN census.

For some reason that makes feel like such an adult.

I guess owing a home and having two children should also make me feel like a "real" adult but honesty, deep down inside, I still feel like I'm 19.

Jon and I were kind of giddy about it and argued like little kids over who got to fill it out. Finally we waited till the babies were asleep and then took turns filling in the boxes.

I can't believe that the last time the census came around ( every 10 years for those non- American's out there) I was 15.

It is even harder to believe that next time the census comes I'll be 35.

Asher will be 12 and Rose will be 10.

Wow.

Time goes by so fast.

Do you think I'll feel like a "real" adult by the time I am 35?

New Year Miracles

I don't really like making New Year resolutions. Unless they are something I've already been working on I never remember to do them. They just don't work for me.

Instead Jon and I write down New Year's miracles. Each New Year we write down three or four things that we'd like to see happen during the next year. They are always things that at the time seem utterly and completely impossible, things that if they really were to happen would indeed be miracles. Sometimes we ask for miracles for ourselves but usually we ask for miracles to happen to people we care deeply about. Since they are things near and dear to our heart it isn't hard to think about them often and to offer up silent and vocal prayers for them.

Last year I wrote down four miracles, things that I was sure weren't going to happen that year but which my heart yearned for desperately. I can bear strong testimony that God is still a God of miracles because one of my "impossible" things was answered directly this year, another was answered in a round about way, and one the miracles I prayed for two years ago was answered this year. I've noticed that sometimes God doesn't always perform the miracle in the year I pray for it but I've come to trust in God's timing and wisdom. I know that the other two miracles I prayed for in 2009 will someday be answered in His own time and His own way.

Perhaps these "impossible" things would still would have happened if I hadn't been praying for them to happen, but then they wouldn't have been miracles. Miracles are things that need to be asked for... they take faith. Jesus never performed a miracle unless someone specifically sought him out and asked for it. They demonstrated their faith in His power by being humble enough to ask Him for the miracle they wanted, whether it was for themselves or someone they loved. If we want to see miracles we have to have the faith to ask for them.

I am asking for some pretty impossible things this year. Part of my heart doubts that there is anyway they will be able to happen, but the other part of my heart is full of faith in God. I know that with Him nothing is impossible... even miracles.

I just recently shared this tradition with a friend and she directed me to an incredible story written by Elder Boyd K. Packer in which he and his wife had a similar experience making New Year "miracles". I didn't know about this story when Jon and I start our tradition and it just strengthens my testimony of miracles.

The Bad and The Good

The Bad

We came home from spending Christmas with my family to find that ALL the pipes in our house were frozen solid. It really shouldn't have been that much of a surprise because it got down below zero several days and our house has no insulation in the walls. Really... it doesn't have any. We are putting a bathroom in our upstairs bedroom and Jon was able to drop the pipes right through the exterior wall. I guess 100 years ago they didn't believe in insulation yet. Oh, the joys of an old house! Remember OHDD? I think we have a confirmed case. Surprisingly though our heating bill isn't too high and our house stays remarkably cool in the summer... don't really know how but I'm not complaining.

Anyway, last night we heated our house up to about a thousand degrees in order to thaw out the pipes and ran a space heater in front of our main water pipe. We waited several hours hoping the water would start flowing again. No such luck. We had to tap into our food storage water supply in order to flush the toilet, make dinner and quench the parched lips of a demanding two year old. I've realized that we have NO WHERE near enough water for a real emergency. We had about 20 gallons stored and it hardly lasted us one night. We were humbled and realized we need to store about 4 times that much. I also gained such a greater appreciation for how wonderful indoor plumbing is and how much easier my life is because of it. I tried to make bread last night and after having to pour my water out of the big barrel, heat it up in the microwave, wash my hands in snow, and not have a way to clean my dishes I realized that I live a pampered life compared to most women in the world. At least I didn't have to build a fire to cook it over or boil my water before I used it. Gee whiz!

We went to bed hoping our space heater would do the job but this morning there was still no water... meaning no shower for me... meaning I was grumpy. Around 10 AM we finally figured out that the water line from the street to our house was what was frozen. We called the city and they came and worked their magic. Luckily none of our pipes burst (that we know of) and I was able to take a shower and wash my dishes. I now have a new understanding of the scriptures that talk about Christ as the living water. Nothing can get clean without water. A life without water is dirty and stinky. Ponder on that for awhile :)

Okay now for

The Good

We had a great Christmas with my family. I think my kids are going through attention withdrawals because there is no possible way Jon and I can give them the same amount of love and adoration they got from their grandparents, uncle and aunts.

It was also so much fun to see them open their gifts. I don't think Rosie really knew what was going on but Asher got the hang of Christmas and gifts real fast.

The Bad

Rosie has a major bald spot on the back of her head. Asher never had one this big and I feel bad because I think it means she doesn't get held as much as he did. Or it could just be because she sleeps in her swing. Or because she is super curious and is always wiggling her head around to look at people. Hopefully it grows back before she hits Jr. High.

The Good

Asher had a really wonderful birthday.

I wanted to make him a basketball cake that was shaped like a basketball. It turned out pretty good but Jon decided he wanted to frost it. After battling about the amount of butter that went into the frosting, what color it should be, how much should go on the cake, and how it should be applied I am happy to report that we are still married... though I might have to frost the next cake when Jon is in bed. He actually did do a great job even if it wasn't quite what I would have done.


Okay and one last sequence of pictures... just because he is cute. Asher got finger paints for his birthday and as I was trying to get a picture of him painting he gave me several different responses when I asked "Give me a smile!"

#1

#2 # 3

What a goof.

Hope you all had a great holiday!

Old House Delusion Disease

I just had to share this.

I found it on a house remodeling blog and when I read it I couldn't stop laughing. I read it to my husband and it just got funnier and funnier.

We both DEFINITELY have Old House Delusion Disease (OHDD).

The first time the real estate agent walked us through what is now our house we wondered who in their right mind would ever by such a disgusting house. Then we needed up buying it... even after the inspector's report came back with about 50 things that were wrong with it. Obviously we had (and still have) a bad case of OHDD.







We've definitely improved things but it has been quite the adventure. Our house was built in 1916 and as we've worked on it we've actually discovered some pretty cool things in our walls and basement. Maybe someday I'll do a post showcasing all our artifacts. Anyway, if you've ever bought an old house or done remodeling you will enjoy this.

Home Sickness

by Dave Barry

Old House Delusion Disease

More than once I have had my brain paralyzed by what psychiatrists call Old House Delusion Disease (OHDD). My wife and I bought an old house that had every known old-house problem, including termites, not to mention a grand total of one closet, and an entire room that had no electrical outlets -- a clear indication that the house was not built by or for people with a need for, say, lighting. Were we discouraged?

No! We thought it was quaint!

Here's how delusional we were. We had plumbing problems (of course), and in an effort to fix a leak, some plumbing guys were crawling around under our house. They emerged holding some yellowed, crumbling, rolled-up newspapers, which they'd found wrapped around our pipes, apparently as insulation. We carefully unwrapped one of the newspapers and found that it was a Miami Herald from 1927. It had a story in it about Charles Lindbergh.

So there we were, confronted with stark evidence that our pipes, in addition to leaking, were very old. It's like being aboard a boat in the middle of the Pacific and discovering that not only were you sinking, but also your hull was made entirely of Triscuits.

How did we react to this horrible news? We were thrilled! Charles Lindbergh! It was so charming! The plumbers were also very excited, but in their case it was because they knew we would be putting all their children through Harvard.

Our House Delusion Disease is very powerful. Usually, when you buy an old house, you hire professional house inspectors. These inspectors are very thorough: They spend a whole day crawling around the house, and then they give you a detailed, written report, which says "Do not buy this house, you idiot!"

Love Is Blind

Not in so many words, of course. The report breaks the house down by major defects, then sub-defects. The house, according to the report, consists entirely of defects. You read the report, but because you have OHDD, none of it actually penetrates your brain, even when the inspector goes out of his way to warn you about serious problems:

INSPECTOR: I want to show you something in the living room ...

YOU: Don't you love that room? It has such character! The molding!

INSPECTOR: About the molding -- I wanted you to see this. (The inspector takes a screwdriver and taps it against the molding. The molding disappears in a smokelike puff of wood particles. Then a large part of the wall itself collapses, leaving a gaping hole, through which can be seen, in the gloom, an exposed wire that periodically emits a shower of sparks, illuminating a dripping pipe covered with green slime. A rat darts by, pursued by what seems to be a boa constrictor.)

YOU: Ha ha! These quirky old houses! That can be repaired, right?

INSPECTOR: Well, I suppose it could, if you're willing to ...

YOU: I'm not worried about cosmetic problems, as long as the house is structurally sound. (You stamp your foot on the floor to emphasize this point. Your foot goes through the floor.)

INSPECTOR: Um, that's another thing. Your floor joists have been almost entirely eaten away.

YOU: (retracting your foot) Termites? No biggie! A lot of these old houses have termites! We can just have it treated by ...

INSPECTOR: Actually, it's beavers. They're building a dam in the basement.

YOU: (silence)

INSPECTOR: I've never seen that before.

YOU: (recovering) Well, the kids have been wanting a pet!

At this point the inspector, who has dealt with OHDD before, gives up and edges out of the room, taking care not to put too much weight on any one part of the floor.

You, of course, buy the house. As a true OHDD victim, you would buy this house if it were on fire. Once it's yours, you begin calling what will become a never-ending parade of highly paid craftsmen, who will spend so much time at your house that eventually they will become a part of your family, and invite you to attend all their children's graduations from college.