Why I Love My Stretch Marks

Do you remember that part in Gone With the Wind when Scarlet has just had her baby and is upset because Mammy can only get her corset laced up to 21 inches instead of her pre-pregnancy 19 inches ?

Mammy tells her, "Honey child, you done had a baby. You ain't never gun a be 19 inches again."

I think those are some of the wisest words of the entire show and lately they have been circulating through my mind a lot.

My little nursling will be 7 months old soon and my body is still not back to how it was before I was pregnant with her. Even though I've been back to my original weight for a few months (breastfeeding works wonders on my metabolism) my body is still different. I'm sure you wouldn't notice anything by looking at me, but I've lived in my body for a quarter of century and I can tell you that things aren't the same as before-- my hips are wider, my chest is a bit more saggy, my core muscles aren't quite as tight, and I have six purple marks on my side that remind me my belly really can stretch to an unfathomable size.

I just have to keep telling myself, "Heather child, you done had two babies. Your body ain't never gun a be the same again."

It has taken me awhile to come to terms with it, but it is true. No matter how hard I try my body is never gone to be the same as it was before I had my children. My children are literally parts of myself and they exist because my body sacrificed blood, cells, calcium, iron and millions of other particles to make them. I am literally missing pieces of my body that I will never be able to get back because they are now walking, talking, breathing, laughing, crying, and living in the form of two beautiful children. Becoming a mother, even if you don't physically give birth to a child, requires a huge sacrifice from your body and spirit. It is a sacrifice, that according to Elder Bruce C. Hafen of the First Quorum of the Seventy and his wife Marie K. Hafen, greatly parallels the sacrifice made by our Savior, they said:

"Just as a mother's body may be permanently marked with the signs of pregnancy and childbirth, [the Savior] said, 'I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands' (1 Ne. 21:15–16). For both a mother and the Savior, those marks memorialize a wrenching sacrifice--the sacrifice of begetting life--for her, physical birth; for him, spiritual rebirth" ("'Eve Heard All These Things and Was Glad': Grace and Learning by Experience," in Dawn Hall Anderson and Susette Fletcher Green, eds.,Women in the Covenant of Grace: Talks Selected from the 1993 Women's Conference [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1994], p. 29)."

I gives me strength to remember that just as Christ bears marks in his hands, feet and side as symbols of his blood sacrifice; I too have stretch marks on my side that bear testimony to my sacrifice of blood and my willingness to bring life into the world. I find strength to go forward with my mothering by remembering that just as Christ's body was resurrected, making him complete physically and spiritually, that my body is constantly renewing itself and that one day I too will be complete, physically and spiritually. I also know that my joy is more full because of my children and that because of the sacrifice my body has made life will go forward and my family will go on eternally.

So for all the mothers our there I want to remind you to rejoice in your stretch marks, to be grateful for your extra weight and wider hips, to accept your c-section scar, and to find joy in the tired bags under your eyes because they are symbols of your sacrifice.

For all you who have yet to become mothers I want to remind you to rejoice in the blood you shed each month because it is a beautiful symbol of hope and it bears testimony to the promise of continuing life.

And for all you women who are struggling with loving and accepting your body I want to remind you that anything or anyone that belittles, exploits, demeans, or mistrusts your body is not from God. Your body is beautiful, mind boggling amazing, and so deeply symbolic of Christ. Also, remember that in the eternal scheme of things-- frankly my dear, no one will give a damn if you had a 19 inch waist or not. If you are shocked by my swearing, you need to watch the end of Gone with the Wind :)

I'm a Hypenator

This week I went to a dinner to commemorate the director of the Women's Research Institute (WRI) at BYU. The WRI is being dissolved (which is tragic and such a step backwards!) and so the director, Bonnie, is "retiring". It was a bitter sweet evening. I loved getting to see all the amazing women I worked with for almost 4 years when I was a research assistant there, but like a funeral there was that underlying sadness that is hard to rise above. They asked if I would speak for a few minutes about what Bonnie and the WRI have meant in my life. This is what I wrote. I wanted to share it because it is the best tribute I can make to an amazing woman and an amazing institution. Also, because I thought that it was time I let you all in on my deep, not so dark, secret....

I have a hyphen in my last name. I put it in on a whim just after I got married. It wasn’t a pre-thought out decision. When the lady at the social security office gave me the form to write my new married name on I wrote both my maiden name and my married name in the last name box, then in a moment of panic I quickly put a sloppy hyphen in between them and slid it under the window. As I walked out of the office I couldn’t believe what I had just done. Part of me secretly hoped that the social security office wouldn’t notice the hyphen and forget to put it in. No such luck, a few weeks later I got my social security card and there was my new name with a big hyphen in the middle. My husband of just a few weeks took one look at it (I hadn’t told him about the hyphen yet) started to laugh and said “I knew it, I just knew it. You are one of those hyphenators.”

And I guess I am…. Whatever that means.

My dear friend and mentor is also one of “those hyphenators”, and perhaps she is the reason my subconscious decided I needed to have a hyphen in my name. Through her example and friendship she taught me that there are as many different ways to be a woman as there are woman in this world and that we each having something beautiful and valuable to contribute. She and the WRI came into my life when I needed them the most. I was young and struggling with what it meant to be a woman. She guided me, loved me and showed me how to find a beautiful balance in my life. In truth, she gave me my hyphen—the ability to find unity and peace within myself and with my place in the world. Instead of letting opposing and contradicting ideas or identities tear me apart I’ve been able to use my hyphen bridge the gap and find peace between them. For example, because of the hyphen I am now a mother who is a feminist, married but independent, a stay-at-home mom with a career, a believer who questions, and a supportive wife with two last names.

In the last few years I’ve thought a lot about this hyphen in my name. I still don’t know exactly why I put it in. I don’t use it socially and the only time it shows up is on super official documents like my taxes and school transcripts. Sometimes I want to take it out but then something in me rebels against it. I think deep down inside I really like my hyphenated identity. Not only does the hyphen symbolically unify my pre-marriage identity with my marriage identity but it has helped me look at the world in a different way. I’ve come to realize that most women lead "hyphenated lives" and that they are constantly trying to find ways to unify the many facets of their lives. They struggle to balance and juggle contradictions and complexities. Discovering how to unify their experiences, culture, and ancestry with their dreams, thoughts and passions. I’ve realized that it is a never-ending challenge for a woman to learn how to unify her many identities and that perhaps that is the struggle and joy of being a woman... learning to find the balance and peace between your hyphens.

I think that the hyphen is the greatest gift Bonnie and the Women’s Research Institute have given me; the knowledge that there is no one right way to be a woman and that a woman who is unified and at peace within herself is able to be a powerful instrument in the hands of God. Bonnie is a beautiful instrument and God has worked powerful and beautiful miracles through her. I will be forever grateful for this amazing woman, for her strength, her faith, her intelligence and her love. I’ve learned important eternal lessons from watching her balance her motherhood, her career, her trials, her friendships and her passions. She is an angel in her own way and I want her to know that her example has influenced and shaped my life in an incredible way. I am a woman at peace within myself and with my hyphens because of her guidance and I hope and I promise that I will teach my tiny six-month old daughter some of what Bonnie taught me. We will continue to work towards a world where men and women have true peace... and not just tolerance and coexistence. Thank you Bonnie. I love you.

Save the Women's Research Institute!

BYU is closing the Women's Research Institute (WRI).

This makes me want to bawl... scream... hug Bonnie (the director of the WRI)... do something drastic... and generally make a ruckus.

For the past three years I've had the dreaded feeling that this would happen. During my last year of working as a research assistant there (I worked there almost 4 years) all our other research got pushed aside trying to get materials together for the "review" BYU was doing on the institute. It was awful. We were constantly trying to find ways to prove to the university and the review board that what the WRI was doing was useful and important. The whole time we were working on it I kept asking myself... why? Why is this even a question? This institute studies women's experiences, relationships between men and women, women's welfare, and the impact women have on the world... aren't women useful and important?

The WRI was a godsend in my life. When I started at BYU I was young and very confused and bitter about women's roles in society and within the LDS church. Through the WRI I met women and had discussions that changed my heart, answered my hard questions and healed my soul. Another women who worked at the WRI wrote an article in the Exponent that captured exactly how I feel. She said:

"... it was the lessons I learned in my women’s studies classes that influenced my ideas of marriage and motherhood. I have a happy marriage because I was taught gender theory and was looking for equal partnership. I love being a mother because my teachers not only validated motherhood as a feminist choice but provided models of how to be a mother without losing one’s self. I am still a faithful, temple-recommend holding member of the church because my teachers acknowledged the painful and problematic aspects of our doctrine and provided me with enough satisfactory answers to stay. And they were able to do this because of the safety and support of the Women’s Research Institute.

No where else on BYU campus were topics such as female sexuality, the exploitation of women and feminism safe to broach. The WRI was a haven..."

Like this woman, I too found peace about my role as a woman in the LDS church, about motherhood and about my relationship with my husband because of the haven I had in the WRI. It makes me so sad to think that after next year other young women who are struggling with the gospel and feminist questions won't have the WRI to turn to. Where will they go? How many will flounder? How many will lose their faith because they can't find answers to their questions? It makes me want to cry.

BYU needs the Women's Research Institute because LDS women need it. There are many LDS women who never struggle with questions of gender inequality, but for those of us who do the WRI represents hope. Hope that there will always be an open dialogue between LDS men and women on gender. Hope that if we keep searching we will find answers to our hard Gospel questions. Hope that one day men and women will be able to live together with out violence or inequality. And hope that our daughters will inherit a world that is safer and kinder to women.

I don't want to give up that hope.

If you don't either you can join the facebook group "Save the Women's Research Institute" , join the protest at BYU (oh how I wish I was there), write a letter, and pray... a lot.

Generations Within

This is part of what Liz, my cousin who gave the Mother Shower for me, wrote in her letter to me for the mother shower-- I hope she doesn't mind me sharing it!

"Did you know that you lived in your grandmother? The ovum in your mother's body, which ultimately became you, was formed and waiting inside your mother as she grew in her mother's womb. And Baby Bird's eggs, which may someday become her own children, lie in wait inside her, inside you, at this very moment. You carry generations within you! No other time in life is this phenomenon recreated, and it is such a powerful facet of the mother-daughter relationship. Just as your mother and grandmother before you, you have formed new links in an unbroken chain, a legacy of the powerful forces of nature and womanhood, creating, sustenance, protection, guidance and a bond of love too strong to sever."

I've been thinking about what Liz wrote for the last week and just can't quite seem to get over how beautiful and amazing the whole idea of carrying generations within me is. What a humbling thought to think that at this very moment I am not only carrying within me my daughter, but also the "blueprint" for my granddaughter and all the other women that will spring from her. I am carrying a little part of eternity inside of me. Can I be honest and say that the thought blows my mind! As hard as I try I can't quite get my mind wrapped around what an incredible miracle life is and how gracious God is to let us be a part of it.

Women are truly amazing and it breaks my heart to think that there are places in the world where little girls are unwanted and are aborted or killed just because they are girls. One of my college roommates just recently returned home from living in China for a year with her husband and two year old daughter. While they were there she became pregnant and when she and her husband went to get an ultrasound done they had to get special permission from a doctor for the nurses to be able to tell them the sex of the baby. This is because in China it is illegal for care providers to tell a couple the sex of the baby because too many people will abort the baby if they find out it is a girl. For some families the birth of a little girl isn't something to be celebrated or excited about because girls aren't seen as valuable assets. This is because a girl won't contribute financially to the family like a boy will or because, in a culture where only one child is allowed, some people would just rather have a boy than a girl. I'm not making a critique of Chinese culture-- because in all honesty I wonder if Americans were able to choose between having only a son or a daughter which one most people would choose-- but I am lamenting the fact that in many places in the world women, and their divine abilities to bring physical life, are not appreciated or respected.

I can't help but feel that if we, as a world, really understood the miracle and value of life that our attitude and treatment of women would be incredibly different. If our world really valued life above all else-- above land, above riches, above power, above self-- there would never be a woman who was aborted, killed, unwanted, or abused. Each person would be valued not only for who they are individually but also for the generations, yet unborn, that each human being (female and male) carries within them. In such a world marriage would be seen as being THE most important individual and societal goal because it would ensure that those future generations would be protected, wanted, and loved. And a woman's position within one of those marriages would be one of great respect and honor because of her divine role as a nurturer and co-creator of physical life.

I know that I personally can not change the entire world, but it gives me hope that as a mother I will be able to teach both my children to understand the supreme value of life and respect their roles as stewards of that life. I want them to understand that they are so much more than just "themselves" because within their bodies lie the seeds of future generations. It is really my hope that through our children Jon and I can start a legacy of love, peace, respect, and righteousness that will be carried on through the posterity that even now is growing beneath my heart.

Ban the Breast Pump?

My beautiful friend Amy sent me this article and I've been stewing over it for the past few days. Surprising I found myself a little torn about what the author said. On one hand, part of me screamed "AGGG! How can you attack breastfeeding!!! What are you thinking-- you can't ban breast pumps!" and then other side of me realized that she did have a bit of a point. First of all, I don't agree with her that the US has taken "breast is best" too far, in fact I don't think we have taken it far enough. There are still a lot of women who don't realize the benefits of breastfeeding and who don't see it is a normal, natural thing for a woman to do. And there a lots of women who don't breastfeed or who don't continue breastfeeding because they don't have the right support or help. Yet, I do think that the author had a point in saying that women who choose to use formula don't need to be given guilt trips or made to feel like bad mothers. Women have a right to do what is best for them and for their babies, without being judged or scolded for it. I don't like it when people judge or scold me for my choice to have a home birth, and I think a woman has a right to make whatever decisions she feels is right without having to defend it.

Yet with that said, I think that the real issue behind this whole "ban the breast pump" notion is that we don't have a culture that honors or supports mothers. In most other developed countries it is required by law that women get at least 6 moths PAID maternity leave and most countries also have a law that fathers can take the same amount of time off from work (unpaid) without jeopardizing their position. I believe Sweden even gives working women a WHOLE year PAID maternity leave. Compare this to the US which only mandates that women receive 3 months UNPAID maternity leave. Also, most of the other developed countries provide free childcare for working parents and some even have programs that encourage mothers to take their children to work with them.

Just think about how these changes would affect women's experience of breastfeeding-- not to mention their attitudes towards motherhood. I don't think that it is breast pumps that are the culprits, but it is the fact that the US does very little to support or encourage women who chose to become mothers. It is really sad that mothers in the US have so few rights, and I really think it is time that women demanded them. Instead of complaining about how miserable it is to pump breastmilk at work, I think that this author would have spent her time better addressing the real underlying problem-- that women need to be supported by their employers, by their communities and by their government in their decision to have children and continue working-- especially when they have to work out of economic necessity.

I find it SO ironic that 50 years ago it was the rich women who fed their children formula and the poor ones who breastfed. Today it is just the opposite, it is the rich women who breastfeed their children and the poor who feed their children formula. This is mainly because the poor women have no choice but to return to work or their families starve, and often times have jobs in which it would COMPLETELY unpractical to pump at work. Can you imagine having to pump your breastmilk if you worked at Burger King?! I worked for WIC (the Government food program for Women, Infants and Children) for 2 years and in that time I realized that there are some children who would literally starve if it wasn't for the government provided formula, either because their mothers have to return to work or because their mothers don't have enough support to breastfeed. Yet it kind of disturbs me that the WIC program distributes almost half of the infant formula consumed in the United States-- making the US government the main purchaser of formula in country. I just can't help but wonder-- why we don't take all that money going towards formula and channel it towards providing mothers with government polices that would support them and give them more time with their children? We are already spending the money, we might as well use it towards doing what is best for mothers and for children. In my opinion it is every woman's right to have the opportunity, and support she needs, to breastfeed. If she chooses not to then-- that is her decision, but I think that at least women have the right to be educated about their bodies and to be given a real choice in how they feed their children.

A Political Thought

My brother told me that he would start reading my blog more if I wrote more about political things-- I guess birth just isn't his type of politics :) --- so in an attempt to get my brother to read my blog here is my most recent political thought.

A few days (or was it weeks) ago I was making dinner and listening to NPR talk about Hillary Clinton's first trip over seas as Secretary of State for the United States. As I listened to Mrs. Clinton talk about her trip to Asia and her upcoming plans for creating peace in the Middle East I was struck with a profound thought! I realized that the last three Secretaries of State the US has had have been women (with the exception of Colin Powell's 4 year service). Madeline Albright, under the Clinton administration, was the first ever woman to hold the position of Secretary of State. Then came Colin Powell, who served under George W. Bush for his first term before resigning. He was replaced by Condeleeza Rice, the first black woman to hold that high of government office. And now we have another woman, Hillary Clinton, leading our diplomatic corps.

Why you ask do I think this is significant? Well I think it is significant because the Secretary of State leads the State Department which is responsible for handling all US foreign relations. The main purposes of the State Department are protecting US interest abroad and preventing conflict and wars through diplomacy and friendship. Basically, the State Department is the closest thing the US has to a Department of Peace (which several other industrialized countries have), aiming to prevent conflicts through non-violent methods. In my opinion the Secretary of State has one of the most important jobs in the US government and one of the hardest.

I think it is VERY significant that three women have been chosen to be the US's ambassador of peace and friendship to the world. That in a time of war and unrest, we put our confidence in a woman to heal broken relationships, mend old wounds, and forge new friendships. The US might not be ready to have a woman president, but has great confidence in a woman's ability to create peace through non-violent means. I think that is significant. In my last two years of college I was an assistant to a professor who was studying women's involvement in peace and peace education for children. I did hours and hours of research on peace movements and programs around the world and it was AMAZING to me to see how many peace movements around the world are spearheaded by women-- especially mothers. Women from all parts of the world, those at war and those enjoying peace, have organized themselves to promote peace. There are many peace organizations led by men as well, but those tend to be big formal programs, whereas the women's programs were more small scale and grassroots. I think this is fascinating, because women almost always suffer the most from war and violence and have the most to loose. The artist is the only one who truly knows how much a masterpiece is worth, and if it is destroyed he is the one who grieves the most. A human life is a masterpiece and women are the artists, when life is destroyed women know the true cost.

So, despite whoever she is or what political decisions she makes, I think it is wonderful that we have a woman as our Secretary of State-- our ambassador for peace and non-violence. Also, think about what a wonderful example it is to other nations, especially those that don't give women basic human rights, that in the most difficult matters of diplomacy, negations and peace the US puts its trust in the capabilities of a woman. I wonder if when Madeline Albright blazed this path for women, some foreign leaders had a hard time "condescending" to sit down and negotiate political affairs with a woman? I wonder how the fact that the Secretary of State is a woman changes the style and feel of political talks, or if doesn't make a difference? I wonder.

So Drew, my brother o' pal, that was my political thought. Now you have to leave a comment. :)

Breastfeeding in Public

I just found this blog and think what the woman is doing is fantastic! She has been digging through old pictures in the Library of Congress to find pictures of women breastfeeding in public before the formula companies went on a campaign to make breastfeeding socially unacceptable (about the same time that birth went into the hospital-- hmmm... connected maybe?). They are AMAZING pictures. It really makes me even more upset at formula companies! Like I said before, I don't think formula is bad, but I do think that the tactics formula companies have used to get women to mistrust their bodies and give up control over feeding their babies is WRONG! I hope that seeing these pictures will help women realize that we have been duped, and that our bodies are not just sexual objects or dysfunctional, but are beautiful, sacred, and powerful. There is something innately beautiful and sacred about a woman and baby breastfeeding, and it makes me mad that people try to sexualize it.

My favorite is this one, you know that the baby must have been fussy and the mom just said "okay, I give up. I'll just keep it out and you can have it whenever you want it". I also really love this one. I think it captures the amazing feeling of love and bonding between a mom and her breastfeeding baby.

Theory

I have a theory that I want to test.

This is it:

That if it wasn't for women, especially women over 40, democracy as we know it would fall apart because there would be no one to run the polls.

I am just curious, how many men did you see running the polls where you went to vote? I don't think anytime I've ever voted there has been a man volunteer running the polls. Usually it is all women. Is this just a strange phenomenon of my own life? What was the gender distribution of poll workers where you voted?



You can never have too many old pictures of suffragettes, especially ones pushing babies. I'm glad strollers have gotten a bit more high-tech since then.

Just in case you need another reason to support breastfeeding

I know this is sort of old news, but the more I think about it the more and more upset I get!

Babies getting kidney stones and infections! That makes me want to cry. Right after Asher was born I had a kidney infection and kidney stone that put me in the hospital twice. It hurt SO bad (in my opinion MUCH worse than labor) and I can't even begin to imagine a baby having to go through it.

Tian Yaowen, who is 15 months old and has kidney stones, cries in a ward of the Tongji Hospital in Wuhan. From CNN.com

All because they drank formula that had been PURPOSELY tainted with Melanine, a chemical they use to make plastic. The formula company was trying to cut corners and make it look like the formula had more protein in it that it really did. They KNEW that BABIES would be drinking their product and they DIDN'T CARE! Oh man, it make me SO angry I could kick something! (pause... envision Heather kicking the leg of the desk)

I realize that formula isn't all bad. When I was in the hospital for my kidney infection, and on nasty antibiotics, Asher had to have formula for a little while. I have to admit that I was grateful for it. So, I'm not totally against formula. I believe that how a woman chooses to feed her baby is personal decision and should be respected. But with that said, I think that the tactics that formula companies use to get women to bottle feed instead of breastfeed are down right unethical.

For example, in some 3rd world countries formula companies (cough... Nestle--makers of Good Start and Gerber) provide women with samples of formula while they are in the hospital. Telling them that is a better way to feed their baby. This interferes with a woman's breastfeeding, decreasing her milk supply and making her baby dependent upon the infant formula. For most 3rd world women formula is much too expensive and so they water it down. Often the water they have access to is unclean, and so not only are the babies malnourished but also get diarrhea. UNICEF (The United Nations Children's Fund) predicts that one and half million lives could be saved each year by reversing the decline in breastfeeding.

Now for the classic shock effect picture.

If you haven't seen this picture before it is of a mother at the Children's Hospital in Islamabad, Pakistan, taken by UNICEF. The babies are twins, a boy on the left and a girl on the right. The mother was told she wouldn't have enough milk to feed both and chose to breastfeed the boy and bottle feed the girl. The girl died not long after this picture was taken. UNICEF says that the mother said "Use my picture if it will help."

Formula companies make me SO angry! The WHO (World Health Organization), in order to protect mothers and babies, has passed a code that formula makers are suppose to follow when marketing their products. Here are the guidelines. See how many of them don't seem to apply in the US (am I the only one who got 2 free cases of formula in the mail-- that I didn't ask for?).

Code for the Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes

1. No advertising of any of these products to the public.
2. No free samples to mothers.
3. No promotion of products in health care facilities, including the distribution of free or low-cost supplies.
4. No company sales representatives to advise mothers.
5. No gifts or personal samples to health workers.
6. No words or pictures idealizing artificial feeding, or pictures of infants on labels of infant milk containers.
7. Information to health workers should be scientific and factual.
8. All information on artificial infant feeding, including that on labels, should explain the benefits of breastfeeding, and the costs and hazards associated with artificial feeding.
9. Unsuitable products, such as sweetened condensed milk, should not be promoted for babies.
10. Manufacturers and distributors should comply with the Code's provisions even if countries have not adopted laws or other measures.

Women and Careers?

I posted a comment similar to this on a friend's blog the other day, and since then I've been thinking a lot about the issue and wanted to say more.

In the last week there has been a lot of talk about Sarah Palin and her qualifications for becoming the VP of the United States. One of the harshest criticisms brought against her is that her teenage daughter is pregnant, insinuating that because of her career she has been a negligent mother. There are also cocerns that if she is VP she won't have time for her family, namely her baby with down syndrome.

While I have personally made the choice to stay home full-time with my baby, I beleive that what a woman decideds about working outside of the home is a VERY personal choice. It a matter that is between her, God, and her family. No one else has the right to judge her decision. I beleive that having mothers in the home is VERY important and I belieive the words of modern prophets that state "Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of thier children." Yet I also beleive that God has different plans for us all, and he gives us different opportutnies in order to fulfil what he wants us to do on this earth.

We owe so much to mothers who balanced demanding public careers and offices with demanding family obligations. Without these mothers we wouldn't have the right to vote, public schools, mental health care, the Red Cross, unions, and numerous other social and political organziations that have improved and enriched the lives of American families. I beleive that there is a place for women, especially mothers, in the public sphere and that mothers have a responisbilty to be activly involved in shaping their communites and nations. Just because a woman works outside of the home doesn't mean that she will be a worse mother, or that she is neglecting her family responsibilities.

True, a woman can't have it all at once. When you choose to stay home you miss out on certain public and social expericnces, and likewise when you have a career you miss out on home and family experiences. The great irony of the sitation is, that women are critized for making either decison. Women who stay at home have defend their position just as much as women who have careers; and often times they feel guilty no matter which choice they make. That really bothers me! There isn't one right way to be a mother, and different things are right for different families.

I don't think it is fair to make judgements about Sarah Palin's decision to have a demanding public career. Just because it isn't what you or your family have chosen to do, doesn't mean that it isn't what is right for her and for her family. True, she and her family will have to sacrafice some things, but that decision is between them and God. It will be hard, and I think they need our support more than they need our critisim.

Is anyone else as excited about this as I am?

I think McCain made a BRILLIANT choice in choosing Gov. Sarah Palin as his running mate. Not only is she a major conservative (to woo in those who feel McCain is too moderate), and a woman (to woo in the women voters), but she gives a whole new feel and energy to the Republican ticket. She just spiced up what I thought was going to be a pretty boring election, but now I think Obama and Biden are going to get a real run for their money. I still don't know who I am going to vote for-- I'm not really thrilled with either Obama or McCain, but I am excited that there is a woman in the race after all.

I think the most interesting thing about Palin's nomination is that illustrates the dynamic shift of feminism in the US. It was so interesting to me that the women who supported Hillary Clinton were older women, while younger women didn't like her at all. I heard young women (in real life and on the news) say that they didn't support Hillary because she was "not the type of woman they wanted in the White House", because they didn't trust her, or because they saw her as a "sell out". The truth of the matter is that Hillary Clinton represents the old face of feminism, one in which women are expected to "play" just like the men, and are told they have to sacrifice family and marriage for a career, and where women and men are pitted against each other instead of encouraged to work for common goals.

I think Palin is everything Hillary Clinton isn't; she is happily married, a mother of five (including a child with down syndrome), she's not entrenched in Washington politics, she's got a record as a political Maverick, she's got a son in the military, she is SUPER pro-family and pro-life, and is young and beautiful (no offense Hillary). Basically-- she's got it all. I think she is going to succeed better than Hillary did because she is a better representation of the "type of woman" American women want to see in the White House.She represents the new face of feminism, one in which women are boldly stating that they CAN have it all. They can be mothers, wives, and brilliant forces for change and good in their communities and nations. It is a feminism that celebrates the things that make women different from men, rather than tries to turn women into men. Besides I think it will be easier for Americans (in general) to swallow the idea of a woman as second in command, rather than as commander-in-chief.

I really don't know a whole lot about her policies yet, except that she is for drilling in ANWAR, which I don't really know how I feel about. But I like it that she has a reputation for crossing party lines (like McCain), and that she has strong stances on family and against abortion. I am concerned that she doesn't have much of an emphasis on health care or social issues, and hope that she won't neglect focusing on the more traditional "women's issues" if she is elected. All in all, I am WAY excited to see a woman as a VP candidate and am VERY interested to see how this election turns out. Be prepared to see LOTS of mud-slinging-- women tend to get it worse ;)