The Worst Night Ever

Last night we (as in only Asher and his little mother-- because they were "babysitting" in Idaho) had the HARDEST NIGHT we've had since Asher was 2 months old. Let me tell you the sad tale.

The little nursling went to bed around 7:30 PM, like usual, but then woke up again at 11 PM. His mother, me, had not as yet gone to bed because she was reading a really good book (Dracula-- which I highly recommend as good October read--it will scare your socks off). She went upstairs thinking that all it would take to calm the raging nursling was a quick shot of breastmilk. Nope, 3 hours later (2 AM) she still had not got the nursling back to bed. She pulled out every trick in her hat, rocking, singing, stroking his hair, laying in bed with him, patting his bottom, rubbing his back, breastfeeding, massaging his legs, blowing in his face, but nothing worked. Even the NEVER FAIL trick of rocking him while listening to the running water in the sink FAILED. She was in despair and tears. Several times (literally 20 times) she got the nursling TOTALLY asleep, I mean he was snoring, and then AS SOON as she put him down he woke up and screamed, and screamed, and screamed, and screamed. Finally, after several episodes of bawling (on the Mom's side)she finally came to realization that she was NEVER going to be able to put the baby down. So, she laid him on her tummy and they finally fell asleep. Yet fate was against the lovely mother this night, because only 2 hours later (4AM) she was awakened by a little nursling poking her in the eyes.

That was my night. Sob. And I have to admit that I did not handle it well. I was SO tired and frustrated that I found myself doing all the things I told myself I was never going to do. Like spanking him! Oh man, I get the "bad mom award". Even thought it wasn't hard, I felt SO bad after. It just made both of us cry harder. Maybe this sounds REALLY bad, but I can see how some babies get shaken to death. Not that I EVER considered it,but because I can see how a parent, especially a single mom, could get so exhausted and worn out that she would take her frustration out on the baby. It just made me realize how important it is that ALL parents, especially moms, have the help and support they need. I have a new respect for moms who have to do it on their own.



My cousin sent me some links about "sleep regression" which made me feel better knowing that there are other mothers suffering too. I didn't know this, but at about 10 months babies go through a growth spurt and have an exceptional amount of brain activity because of all the new things they are experiencing, like teething, crawling, walking, etc... This extra activity makes it hard for them to take naps and to sleep at night. It also makes them very clingy and want to be held all the time (sounds familiar). I am encouraged by the fact that this is just a developmental stage and I should try to enjoy it.

Even so, I just need to remember what my Dad told me when Asher was first born. I was complaining about how much he cried and my Dad just turned to me and said, "Be grateful that you have a crying, healthy baby, because there are many mothers out there who wish their sick baby would cry." That humbled me quick. Because as hard as it is to have a crying baby, a silent sick one would be MUCH harder. It is just hard to be grateful at 2 in the morning!