Another Reason to Play

I've decided to that in order to give you more incentive to join my Halloween carnival that I am going to make it a costume contest as well. So after you've posted your link, then add a comment at the bottom of the post to vote for your favorite costume (you may have to check back at the end of the day to see all entries). The winner will be announced on Wednesday and they will get something fantastic (it is still in the works). I promise you it will be worth it!

Hosting A Carnival

I've decided to host my first blog carnival (a collection of links from different authors about a similar topic)

This is daring

This is brave

This is an experiment

I love Halloween, but I every year I have the hardest time figuring out a costume. Now that I have kids the problem has been magnified by 2. Last year I floundered all the way until the day of Halloween and then threw this together a the last moment. Granted I thought our scientist ensemble turned out to be remarkably successful, but it kind of stressed me out. I realized that it takes A LOT of work to get kids, and yourself (if you are into it), dressed up for Halloween. It's kind of disappointing that after all that work only a handful of people get to see them all dressed up like a giant hamburger. So I thought that it would be fun to have a "What Were Your Kids For Halloween?" carnival. Not only do you get to share your adorable hamburger with others, but you can get ideas for what your kids can be next year. Brilliant? Yes, thank you.

So if you would like to play here is how:

1) Write a post, with pictures, about what your kid/kids were for Halloween. If you don't have kids you can still play along and post a picture of yourself, hubby, friends, dog, or other furry animal. Somewhere in the post mention that you are participating in this carnival and put a link to this post so that others can join in if they want to.

2) On the Tuesday after Halloween (Nov. 3) check back on my blog and use the magical linky (example below-- don't actually use it) to link to your post.



3) Instead of putting in your name though, put in what your kid was for Halloween (example.. spiderman and princess, mommy web and spider, the baby mop)

4) Have fun reading the other links

5) Vote for your favorite by leaving a comment at the bottom. The winner will be announced on Wednesday and will receive something fantastic... promise!

Like I said this is an experiment... one that I really would like to work.

So while I know it's not classy to beg

PLEASE play along with me!

Your Best Birth: Book Review

You know you are birth junkie when you go on vacation, only 6 weeks after having a baby, and you take a book about birth along for "fun reading". At one point the woman across the aisle from me on the airplane gave me a strange look. I wanted to yell across to her, "No, I'm not pregnant! I'm a doula". I restrained myself but decided I'd better keep the book in my bag... at least while I was holding a newborn.

In the last few years I've read A LOT of books on birth and this is definitely one of my new favorites.

It is written by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein the producers of the documentary "The Business of Being Born." When I picked this book up at the library I wasn't sure if I was going to like it, I thought that it might just be a repeat of the movie. While I liked the movie for its ability to highlight how out of control maternity care is in the United States, I didn't think that it did much to help women find the choices that would help them and their baby have the best possible birth experience. Well, this book fills in what the movie left out. Yes, it is biased towards natural birth (it says that right on the front cover) but its main emphasis is on helping women discover that they have choices about how and where they give birth. It challenges women not to just let birth "happen" to them, but to be informed, active and constructive participants in the birth process. In their introduction they say:

"This book is not intended to lecture you about the way you should have your baby, but it is about helping you overcome your fears, the pressures, and the fads and ultimately allowing you to have an empowering and beautiful experience to share with your family. This book will serve as a reminder that giving birth is something women instinctually know how to do, and that you can tap into your own innate sense of power to take back the birth experience. " (pg.xxiii)

I thought that this was a really empowering book and I loved how they talked about birthing women as "goddesses". Throughout the book they share the birth experiences of several "Birth Goddesses", celebrities like Melissa Joan Hart, Kellie Martin, Laila Ali, and Cindy Crawford (listen to her story here and here... it is fantastic). This is my new favorite quote about birth and I wish that I could post it on every pregnant mother's (especially first time mother's) bathroom mirror:

"Creating life is goddess work. You are stronger, more powerful, and more focused than you've ever been. Life force is coursing through your body and you are living life in a heightened state of awareness. You are extremely sensitive to smell and taste and to the people, situations, and changes in the atmosphere that might do you or your baby harm. What might make you feel vulnerable also makes you fierce. People better watch out because you will do almost anything to protect your baby.

In this state you are amazing. You are going to access parts of yourself that you didn't know existed. You are going to face your fears. You have decided to face pain and handle it in a way that makes you most comfortable. Dealing with fear and facing pain are the kinds of things that most people run from as fast as they can, but not you. You are the birth goddess and you will do what needs to be done.

When you come out the other side of this experience, you will be a different woman than when you went in. You will know yourself better and have a much broader sense of what you are capable of doing. You will be smarter and stronger than you've ever been before. Each birth experience is extraordinary, yet at the same time birth is commonplace. Millions of women do this every year. After the birth of your child, you will be connected to all the women who have given birth across the centuries as well as deeply connected to your baby." (pg.31-32)

What a beautiful way to approach birth, and such a different perspective than what most women in the United States are accustomed to. What if doctors put quotes like these in their prenatal pamphlet bags instead of formula samples? How different would maternity care be then? How different would women view their bodies? How different would society treat women, especially mothers?

There is a lot of information about birth out there, much of it contradicting, and it can be confusing for a woman to know which choices are right for her and her baby. When it comes right down to it how a woman births is a personal and spiritual decision. She deserves to be educated and aware of all her options and risks; she shouldn't have to make a choice as important as where and how to birth her baby out of fear.

I think that this book does a good job presenting all the options and helping women weigh the risks and benefits. It also reminds women that birth is big business for hospitals and doctors and that they need to be proactive consumers. Lake and Epstein mention that most women spend more time researching their stroller than they do the doctor or the hospital that are going to deliver their baby. Women need to do their research and demand the type of care that treats women like the "birth goddesses" they are, especially when they are paying big bucks.

One of my favorite chapters was the one for women who are the victims of sexual abuse. Sexual abuse is topic that most birth books don't address, so I found it fascinating to read the birth experiences of women whose births helped them heal and to gain confidence in themselves and in their bodies. Birth is definitely not a "one size fits all" commodity and every woman should make an educated and personal decision about what type of care she wants for her and her baby. There will always be unknowns and uncertainties in birth, but it is empowering for a woman to know that if she is proactive she can create the birth experience she needs to heal and grow as an individual.

I would high recommend this book to any pregnant woman, especially a first time mother, a woman thinking (even remotely) about having a natural birth, a survivor of sexual abuse, or a woman whose first birth experience wasn't everything she wanted it to be. Birth really is goddess work and it is nice to read a book that reminds us of that.

I'm a Four Chicken Coop Woman

In the classic LDS movie "Johnny Lingo" the village women are sitting around talking about how many cows their husbands paid for them. There is one woman's whose husband paid 2 cows, while another brags that hers paid 3 cows for her. So imagine their surprise when Johnny Lingo pays 8 cows for Mahana, commonly thought the ugliest woman in the village. By the end of the movie this ugly, shy girl has blossomed into a beautiful and happy woman. Johnny says that it is not being beautiful that determines a woman's worth, but that what a woman thinks she is worth that makes her beautiful (or something like... I kind of paraphrased :).

Well, if Mahana was an 8 cow woman, then I am a 4 chicken coop woman.

In the last several months my husband has built me 4 chicken coops. I haven't asked him to build any of them, he's just done it. I'm sure there were other projects that he would have like to have gotten done before, but he knew how much the chickens meant to me (yes, I'm kind of a weirdo) so he's worked like a madman to get them done. Basically... he loves me.

Coop #1 -- The Raccoon's McDonald's

First there was this one

which he surprised me with after coming home from a trip. But because we didn't put a cover on top of the run all the chickens got eaten by a raccoon. It was awful, and I think it has been his motivation for making me increasingly better and more raccoon proof chicken boxes.

Coop #2--- The Mini-Cooper

Not long after the chicken incident I got 6 new chicks. Once they out grew their cardboard box in the basement Jon built this one for them.

It is quite ingenious for being thrown together from the scraps we had lying around our yard.

Coop #3-- The chicken cathedral

After all our chickens got eaten by a raccoon (sob) he decided my chickens needed a better home. So he built this one, which he just finished last week. One side is a chicken coop and the other side is a shed.

He has really done an amazing job on this. It is quite the chicken palace, because one the side with the windows the ceiling is 10 feet high. It is big enough for me to have lots more chickens! Oh, and check out Asher in pursuit of the little black chicken. Don't worry he didn't catch her... this time.

Coop #4--- The Magical Egg Machine

This really isn't a coop, it is our nest boxes, but it took Jon about as long to make as did coops #1 and #2. So far it has been working great... eggs magically appear in it every day.

Our chickens are really getting grown up. We've heard some of them crowing in the morning, so I'm pretty sure we have at least 2 roosters. But it is still hard to know which ones are hens and which are roosters. I'm hopping we start getting some new eggs in the next little bit so that we can be 100% sure.

We call our Polish chickens the "Rock stars" because they look SO cool and have the attitudes to got with it. If there was ever a McJagger of chickens, this rooster is it.

This is Mrs. Featherstone, the Cochin

Remember when I thought I had 4 silkies? Well it turns out that 2 of them were actually Cochins. The Cochins are actually my favorites because they have feathers on their feet and look so ridiculous when they run! I'm pretty sure we have a rooster and a hen, so this spring they can have babies... maybe.

Mr. Featherstone, the Cochin rooster, hanging with the older ladies.

And then just because it is so completely adorable. Here is a video of Asher with one of his freshly caught chickens.

How Holy is the Sabbath Day?

I am really proud of my husband.

He spent all of last semester working on a design competition with several other students at his University. The project wasn't for any of his classes, it was something he took on in addition to his regular school work and his graduate research. He and his teammates worked really hard on their project and as a result they won the State design competition and got to go to Florida to compete in the National competition--- all expenses paid. Jon was thrilled.

A few months later I checked "Chariots of Fire" out from the library and Jon and I watched it one Friday evening. The movie is about Eric Liddell, the "Flying Scotsman", who refused to run the 100 meter dash (the one everyone thought he would win) in the 1924 Paris Olympics because it was scheduled on Sunday. Liddell was a committed Christian and refused to run on the Sabbath despite the pressure he got to do so. Instead he ran the 400 meter, one of his worst events. Right before he ran it one of his American competitors came up and put a paper in his hand with 1 Samuel 2:30 on it which said, "Those who honor me, I will honor". He ran with that paper in his hand and... well... I won't ruin the ending for you.

This story really impressed Jon and I and made us re-evaluate our dedication to our own beliefs and faith. Would we have been able to do what Liddell did?

Then just a few days after we watched the movie, Jon was looking up the schedule for the conference he was going to attend to find out when he would be presenting his design... it was scheduled for Sunday.

He turned to me and said, "Heather, I can't do it. I really can't present on Sunday."

Me, being the supportive and righteous wife that I am, said, "Well, why not! God won't mind this one time. You've worked so hard and you deserve to do this."

But he stuck to what he knew was right. He told his teammates (all of them are also Mormons) that he couldn't present on Sunday. They were understanding and said that they would present for him. But they felt that since he had put so much work in to it that he still deserved to attend the conference. So, we went to Florida and he didn't present on Sunday, instead we went to visit his aunt and uncle. I kept hoping that maybe because he had made such a big sacrifice that God would bless his team and they would win.... didn't happen... but they still did a really good job. Later Jon had the opportunity to meet the president of the organization and told her that next year they shouldn't have the student competitions on Sunday. She said she'd think about it.

I really admire my husband's decision to keep the Sabbath day holy because, if the truth be known, if I had been in his position... I would have presented on Sunday.

It makes me feel sort of bad to admit this, but I probably would not have given the fact that the presentation was on Sunday a second thought. I would have easily justified it... I'm on vacation... I've worked so hard... It isn't that big of a deal... God won't mind this one time... Everyone else is going to do it and they are Mormons too.

But watching my husband stand his ground, especially when all the others on his team were of the same faith, really made me re-evaluate my feeling about the Sabbath day.

Do I really understand why God ask us to keep the Sabbath day holy?

How "holy" does he expect us to keep it? Is it up for personal interpretation?

How do you stand up for what is right, when everyone else is of the same faith as you, without sounding "self righteous"?

These are the questions that have been floating around in my mind, and I am still searching for answers.

What do you think?

What has been your experience?

Would you have presented?

Trip to Florida and Why Going on Vacation isn't as Much Fun When You Have Children

Entrance to Cocoa Beach

I'm going to make you look through all of the pictures from our trip ( don't worry there aren't too many) before I tell you why going on vacation when you have kids isn't as much fun (and it probably isn't what you are thinking).

We went to Orlando because Jon won a competition for school and they sent him and some classmates to a conference to present their work. Rose and I just got to tag along. It turned out to be a really fun trip. The first night we got there we dropped Jon's classmates off at the hotel and then rented a car and drove to 2 1/2 hours north to visit Jon's aunt and uncle and cousins. We hardly ever get to see them and it was so much fun to spend time with them. They also invited my cousin and his family over to dinner one night (Jon's uncle is a professor at the law school my cousin goes to, and since there aren't very many Mormons there they know each other). Jon's littlest cousin Eleanor really loved Rose and was so cute with her.

They also took us to see the most AMAZING tree

It is called "Treaty Tree" because supposedly an Indian treaty was signed beneath it, but we read on a sign that what really happened was that around the turn of the century a journalist wanted to protect the tree from being cut down so he made up the story. There really wasn't any treaty, but the name stuck anyway.

It was really a fantastic tree, here you can kind of get a feel for how ENORMOUS the thing is.

The branches go all the way to the ground.

These are Jon's cousins Issac and Eleanor. They are about the same difference in age as Asher and Rose are and watching them play together got me so excited for how my two will be in a few years. Once Asher is past the "lets sit on her" phase... um... actually it just dawned on me that stage might never pass, my brother still sits on me... and he's 23.

Later we drove back to Orlando for Jon's conference and stayed at a beautiful hotel.

This picture really doesn't do it justice at all. The place was incredible. It had two private lakes and the coolest swimming pool I'd ever seen. It was called The Fountains and is a time share hotel. One of Jon's teammates found it on the Internet and got us a great deal-- less than $100 a night. Jon and I were so impressed we talked (briefly) about someday (when we are much older and hopefully richer) buying a time share in a place like this. It was really family focused and I'd highly recommend it (You know they really should be paying me to say all this! ).

The plan was that while Jon was at the conference that I would drive out the the Kennedy Space Center, which I've wanted to see ever since I was little, but by the time I finally got out there I only had an hour or two to spend and didn't want to pay $40 for such short time. So I opted instead to go to Cocoa Beach. I hadn't brought my swimming suit and I was just planning on wading a little bit, but the first two waves that hit me drenched me up to my waist and so I figured "what the heck" and went swimming in my clothes. Rose was asleep in the car seat on the beach and so for about an hour I frolicked in the ocean, in my clothes, by myself. It was grand.

I can see why people fall in love with the ocean and don't ever want to move away from it. I think I could almost be willing to trade it in for my mountains if I had to.

Then last, but definitely not least, we went out to eat at Boston Lobster Feast where I tasted oysters and muscles for the first time. I'm not a big fan of them, I thought they tasted like really big fish flavored boogers. When we were coming out of the restaurant we saw this

Can you imagine this thing cruising down the freeway! Especially if you were driving at night and saw it coming at you in your rear view mirror! Scary.

All in all we had a really good trip, but I've decided that going on vacation just isn't quite as much fun as it was before we had kids. It's not that taking Rose along was hard or held us back from doing what we would normally do, but Jon and I both found that we missed Asher a lot more than we thought we would. We couldn't help but think to ourselves how Asher would have loved the moving sidewalks at the airport, how he would have gotten a kick out of riding the trolley, how he would have loved the incredible swimming pool at our hotel, and how he would have been in heaven chasing all the frogs, lizards and other creatures that come out in the Florida heat.

I was fine for the first few days, but then after being away from him for almost a week I really started to get bit homesick for him. That little boy has become such a huge part of my life and without him life just isn't quite as rich. Even though I LOVED being able to go on vacation and have a break, after awhile I felt like a part of me was missing. It made me think of a quote I wrote down in my quote book a long, long time ago by Elizabeth Stone

" Making the decision to have a child-- it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."

Our children are really parts of us and there is such a feeling of wholeness and completeness when you have them near you. It made me realize why my parents and in-laws get so excited when all of their children are going to be home at the same time. Being all together as a family is the ultimate feeling of connectedness and wholeness. I can only imagine what an incredible place heaven is going to be when whole generations of families will be together for the first time... it will probably be a blast.

I'm sure Jon and I will take more vacations together without all our kids and will have a fantastic time, but I realized this trip just how much becoming a parent changes your perspective on life. As nice as it is being by yourself or with your spouse, it is just more fun being all together than apart.

What's On My Happy List Today

#1 Rose in her bonnet

Perhaps this is one of those "froofy" (is that a word?) mommy things, but I ADORE this bonnet. I'm sure one days she'll look back on these pictures and say "Mom, I CAN'T believe you put me in that." But I don't really care, she just looks so cute. Not to mention I got it at the dollar store-- yeah, what dollar store carries Carters baby clothes? I guess I went on the right day!

#2 Asher with his "bi [big] ball"

Just more evidence of my son's ball obsession. Jon bought him a big blue ball from the grocery store a few weeks ago and Asher adores it. For the first few days it had to go everywhere with him, even to the breakfast table. I wish I would have gotten a video of him eating his oatmeal with his left hand and holding the ball with his right hand so that it wouldn't roll off the tray. He actually managed to eat almost all of his oatmeal like this. Crazy boy.

# 3 Baby Smiles

Rose has started smiling and every time she does my heart melts.

# 4 Making bread that actually looks and tastes good!

I've been working at making homemade wheat bread for the last year or so. Sadly my loaves never turn out very good and in the last 12 months my family has eaten some pretty atrocious looking and tasting "bricks". But this week somehow I managed to produce these

And I am so proud of them. I almost didn't want to eat them. They were big and the bread was the perfect consistency. I'm convinced it was just a fluke, but part of me hopes that somehow I've been blessed by the bread fairy and that this will start to be normal. Any bread making tips?

I also made French Bread for the first time and it was delicious and super easy to make. I don't think I'll ever buy French Bread again, this was much much better.

#5 This is where I am going this weekend!

Orlando, Florida!
This is a picture of the hotel we are staying at.
Jon won a competition at school and gets to go to a conference, and Rose and I are going with him. Asher is staying with his grandparents. Technically he could still fly free but the idea of having to hold two babies on our laps for a cross country flight did NOT sound appealing. I am really excited. It is starting to get cold up here and it will be nice to go some place where I can still wear my flips flops!

I really should be packing.

Unlucky 13

I don't mean to sound superstitious...

but my blog currently has 13 followers.

Perhaps it is just because Halloween is just around the corner, or because my life is incredibly wonderful at the moment and I keep having this feeling that things can't stay this good for long. But having 13 people on my blog is making me kind of nervous. Silly... yes... completely irrational... yes... but PLEASE would someone add themself as a follower so that I don't have 13 any more!

If Only She Could Speak

What do you dream about little girl?

How much do you remember of your life before you came to me?

Do you see angels?

Who were you in the pre-existence?

What type of woman are you going to become?

Can you remember what God looks like?

Because sometimes when I look at you little girl
... I get a glimpse...
and I can almost remember.