Meeting My Hero

I had an incredible experience yesterday.

I got to meet Sister Julie Beck.

It was amazing. She is one of the most incredible women I've ever met. She just radiates love from her... pure and genuine.

For those of you who aren't LDS Julie Beck is the General President of the Relief Society, the women's organization of the church. She has been the General President for a good portion of my adult life and she has been such an influential person in my life. It seems like every time she opens her mouth to speak she says something that heals a hole in my heart.

I went to go talk to her about the book, The Gift of Giving Life:Rediscovering the Divine Nature of Pregnancy and Birth, that I am working on. The other authors all live out of State and so it was just me who went. We'd been feeling prompted for months to contact Sister Beck and let her know about our project but kept brushing the thought away because it seemed ridiculous. I mean really you don't just call up and invite yourself to talk with Sister Beck! But when a another highly respectable person suggested that Sister Beck might really like to know about it... we figured it wouldn't hurt to just try.

I was really surprised when her secretary contacted me a week or so ago and told me that Sister Beck had read my email and really wanted to connect with us. So yesterday I went to the Relief Society building on Temple Square which, for all of you who haven't been inside it before, feels like a palace. It really is stunning inside. I had to wait for her for awhile because the RS Presidency was in another meeting. When they came out I got to meet them all and shake their hands! Then Sister Beck took me aside and I got to go talk with her for about 20 minutes about the project and what we are trying hoping do. She was so kind and gave me a lot of really wonderful stories, ideas and, suggestions for the book. She told me to keep doing what we are doing and to go forward with inspiration... and to keep loving my babies.

Then she gave me a hug.

Wow. I could have floated away right then.

She truly in my hero. I don't think there would be anyone else on this earth I'd rather have met (okay the prophet would have been pretty good too). This morning I was thinking about the scripture in Alma 48:17 about how if all men were like Captain Moroni the very powers of hell would been shaken forever. I think that it would be fair to re-write that scripture and say, " Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all [WOMEN] had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto [SISTER BECK] behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men."

Really what an amazing woman. When I look at the picture it just feels surreal that I was even there. I feel so incredibly humble that she took time out of her busy schedule to talk with little ole unimportant me. God works in mysterious ways.

And just in case you were still thinking you'd like to submit a story for the book here is a list of he type of stories we still need. If you feel prompted PLEASE don't hesitate to send us a story or get your friend or sister to send us one.

Meditation - How did you meditate during your pregnancy? How did meditation prepare you for birth/motherhood? Share any growth, insights, or anything about meditation.

Preparation - What ceremonies/rituals did you participate in to prepare you for birth/motherhood/letting go of maidenhood? How did you spiritually prepare for the birth? Physically? Mentally and Emotionally? What would you write on a spiritual birth plan? We are also looking for stories about preparation and agency/consequences as they relate to pregnancy, birth, and beyond.

Healing from Sexual Abuse - How giving birth helped you heal from sexual abuse?

Your Legacy - How knowing your Mother's (or another person's) story affected your birth.

Constant Nourishment - How your nourished your body, mind, or spirit during pregnancy, labor, motherhood.

The Spirit/Mind/Body Connection - How did your mind affect your body, or your spirit effect your body?

Re-birth - Whatever that means to you.

Unity - We are looking for stories about unity with your partner, unity with caregivers, unity with baby, unity with God, and any other kind of unity.

The Atonement - Any stories or essays about pregnancy and birth and how it relates to the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

Spiritual Experiences with Medicated Births - We're short on these. We aren't sure why. We know birth can be spiritual no matter what, but for some reason, natural birthers are more excited to talk about their experiences. So if you have had spiritual Cesarean births or spiritual medicated births, please share. Birth is a miracle no matter how babies come. The point of this book is to bring that back into primary focus.

Please send us your story as a word document or in the body of an email. Try to keep them somewhat short. I know it's hard. Please don't send links. Also, this is a spiritual birthing book for LDS women, so please do not edit things of a spiritual nature. Don't worry about being a fabulous writer. We are good editors.

We can't promise we'll use them, but we can promise to get your final approval before we publish them. So sit down and writer yours today and send it to me at ldsbirthstories at gmail dot com.

This is Where My Passion Comes From

I quite often get asked why I am so passionate about birth. I've thought a lot about this, trust me, and it is very complicated answer. It isn't something that is easy for me to explain. Yet seeing as I've written a lot about birth on this blog, and probably will write more in the future, I feel like it is important for me to share where the source of my beliefs about pregnancy and birth originate. Perhaps in understanding my basic paradigm for how I construct my view of womanhood and motherhood it will help you understand why I've made the choices I have and why I have such a passion for it.

I've tried to explain a bit of how I understand the importance of birth, motherhood and womanhood in a post that I originally posted on my Women in the Scriptures blog. I know that many of you don't read both my blogs... it is okay, I forgive you... and so I thought I'd re-post it here. I welcome your insights but PLEASE remember that this is a part of my heart and I ask you to handle it with care.

With that said, here is what I wrote:

As I delve into this topic I first need apologize to those of you who aren't LDS or who aren't familiar with LDS doctrine. This piece is written for an LDS audience and it is too hard, and would take way too long, for me to explain all the concepts I refer to. I don't think that this means if you aren't LDS you won't be enlightened by what I have to say, it just might be a little confusing for you. Please feel free to email me with any of your questions or you can visit this website to learn more about LDS beliefs. Also PLEASE realize that the ideas expressed here are my own personal opinions and not official doctrine of the LDS church.

One of the things I've noticed as I've studied the scriptures is that birth is an over arching theme in the stories of the women in the scriptures. A good portion of the stories about women in the scriptures center around women's ability to bear, or inability to bear, children.

Personally, the births of my children have been incredible spiritual experiences for me and have completely changed my outlook on life and eternity. I've gained great spiritual strength through the birth process and a closer relationships with my Heavenly Father and Mother. As I've reflected on my own experiences and as I read about the important role birth plays in the lives of the women of the scriptures I am prompted to believe the ability to give life is a central part of what it means to be an eternal woman and that the birth process is incredibly important to God.

A friend pointed out that in the Proclamation to the Family it says, "We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed." The means by which mortal life is created is through the processes of conception, pregnancy and birth. It stands to reason that if God designed the way children are conceived to be deeply and powerfully symbolic of a man and a woman becoming "one flesh" (Genesis 2 :24) then He has also designed the way children are born into this world to be deeply and powerfully symbolic.

In order to understand the symbolism and meaning behind labor and birth, and to understand why so many of the stories of women in the scriptures center around birth, we have to go back to Eve and the Garden.

Two Trees

When God placed Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden he planted two trees, the tree of knowledge of good and evil and the tree of life. He told Adam and Eve that there would be consequences if they ate of the tree of knowledge but ".... nevertheless, thou mayest choose for thyself, for it is given unto thee;" (Moses 3:17)

We know that Eve exercised the agency God had given her and chose to partake of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Through modern day revelation we know that what we she did was for the benefit of mankind and that by partaking of the fruit she was fulfilling her divine mission as a woman. In his talk "What It Means to Be a Daughter of God" James E. Faust said:

We all owe a great debt of gratitude to Eve... The choice was really between a continuation of their comfortable existence in Eden, where they would never progress, or a momentous exit into mortality with its opposites: pain, trials, and physical death in contrast to joy, growth, and the potential for eternal life. In contemplating this choice, we are told, “And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, … and a tree to be desired to make her wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and also gave unto her husband with her, and he did eat.” And thus began their earthly probation and parenthood. . . . If it hadn’t been for Eve, none of us would be here."

Eve was fulfilling her divine purpose when she partook of the tree of knowledge. From the foundations of the world she had been chosen and named as "the mother of all living" and she knew that in order to fulfill her mission she must partake of the fruit and become like God. She also knew that she wouldn't be able to fulfill her divine role without Adam's help and so she got Adam to partake of the fruit. The scriptures don't say she had to deceive or trick Adam into eating it, rather it seems that Adam "hearkened" unto his wife and agreed to the transgression so that Eve would be able to fulfill her divine calling.

Just as Eve was set apart to be the "mother of all living" from the foundations of the world, Adam was set apart to be the great High Priest of the earth with the responsibility to hold the keys and perform the saving ordinances that would bring the children of God back into His presence. Joseph Smith taught:

" The Priesthood is an everlasting principle, and existed with God from eternity… Christ is the Great High Priest; Adam next... the priesthood was first given to Adam; he obtained... it in the Creation, before the world was formed” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1938, pp. 157–58)

Adam hearkened first to Eve's divine mission and now, as Adam and Eve progress through their probationary time (Genesis 3: 22, 24), it is Eve's turn to hearken to Adam. God has designed a beautiful partnership in which Adam helps Eve fulfill her mission to bring God's children into the world; after which it is Eve's turn to hearken and help Adam fulfill his mission to bring those children unto Christ, the tree of life, and back into God's presence.

I don't think that it is any coincidence that God placed two people, male and female, in the garden and also planted two trees in the garden... two people, two trees, two divine responsibilities.

Two Veils

While the trees which God planted in the Garden of Eden have multiple levels of meaning one way in which they may be interpreted is as representing the two veils that all mankind must pass through on their journey towards exaltation.

The first veil that all mankind passes through is the veil of birth in which man is born into the world by water, blood and the spirit. Women have a stewardship over this first veil. When Eve partook of the tree of knowledge she became more like God, knowing good from evil and gaining the capacity to bear children. Eve's transgression "opened the matrix", as it says in Exodus 34:19, the womb, the gateway through which the souls of all mankind would pass through into the mortal world. The only possible way to enter this mortal world is through the body of a woman and by the shedding of her blood... there is no other way.

The second veil is the one we must pass through in order to re-enter the presence of God and continue on our eternal journey. Men have a stewardship over this second veil. Just like Adam, righteous men hold the priesthood keys and administer the ordinances which help us to become clean and enable us to go back into the presence of God. Just like the first veil, the second veil requires a sacrifice of blood, water and spirit. Through His Atonement Jesus Christ performed this great and last sacrifice for all mankind. Just as women are the only gateways into the mortal world, Christ is the only gateway into the eternal world... there is no other way.

These two veils are described in Moses 6: 59 which reads:

"That by reason of transgression cometh the fall, which fall bringeth death, and inasmuch as ye were born into the world by water, and blood, and the spirit, which I have made, and so became of dust a living soul, even so ye must be born again into the kingdom of heaven, of water, and of the Spirit, and be cleansed by blood, even the blood of mine Only Begotten; that ye might be sanctified from all sin, and enjoy the words of eternal life in this world, and eternal life in the world to come, even immortal glory;"

It is also interesting to note, and personally I don't think it is any coincidence, that the mother's side of the placenta (the organ the mother's body creates to house the baby and sustain its life) looks like a tree (for a bloody picture click here and for a non-bloody picture click here). The "fruit" of this placental tree is a baby.

This is Eve's gift to us... the promise of birth. That through our mothers, the daughters of Eve, all of God's children will partake of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and literally become the fruit of that tree. Through the power of God they will be born into this world through blood, water and the spirit and will be given a probationary time. During this probationary time it is the role of mothers and fathers to help their children to become worthy to pass through the second veil, the tree of life, through the water, blood, and spirit of Jesus Christ. This is Adam's gift to us---as the High Priest of this earth acting in authority for Jesus Christ--- the promise of re-birth.

In his talk "Equality Through Diversity" Elder M. Russell Ballard explained:

Our Heavenly Father assigned different responsibilities in mortality to men and women when we lived with Him as His spirit sons and daughters. To His sons He would give the priesthood and the responsibilities of fatherhood, and to His daughters He gave the responsibilities of motherhood, each with its attendant functions.

The creation of the world, the atonement of Jesus Christ, and the restoration of the gospel in the latter days through the Prophet Joseph Smith all have one unifying purpose: to allow all of the spirit children of our Eternal Father to obtain mortal bodies, and then, through the gift of moral agency, to follow the plan of redemption made possible by the Savior’s atonement. God prepared all of this for us that we might return to our heavenly home, clothed in immortality and eternal life, to live with Him as families.

Two Divine Stewardships

I've often heard women express pain over the fact the LDS church (and most religions in general) are so male centered-- only men hold the priesthood keys, there are much fewer women in the scriptures than men, and while we know we have a Heavenly Mother we don't hear much about her. These are questions that eat away at many LDS women's (and men's) hearts and make it hard for some of them to remain true to their faith. Yet when we remember that we have already passed through the first veil and are now working towards the second veil it makes much more sense why our world is so male centered.

Besides, who knows, if we could only glimpse into the pre-mortal world and see the other side of the veil would we see a world which was very female centered because the focus is on preparing children to go through the first veil? Would we see women working with their Heavenly Mother to prepare souls of mankind to receive their mortal bodies, teaching them their pre-mortal lessons, and guiding them to their earthly homes? Maybe.

We really don't know much about the pre-mortal world. Yet one thing we do know is that before we were born we received instruction that would prepare us for our individual labors in the Lord's vineyard. In D&C 138: 56 we read about the "noble and great ones" and how, "Even before they were born, they, with many others, received their first lessons in the world of spirits and were prepared to come forth in the due time of the Lord to labor in his vineyard for the salvation of the souls of men."

Given how incredible it is that women's bodies are able to create complete human beings, without their minds directing how it will happen, it seems possible to me that part of the "first lessons" women received in the pre-mortal world was how to create bodies and how to birth them. While their mortal minds don't remember how to do it, perhaps their eternal spirits do and it is a woman's eternal soul which directs and guides her body in the construction of the baby and oversees the process of labor and birth.

We also know that in the pre-mortal existence that Satan and a third of the host of heaven rejected God's plan to come to earth and receive mortal bodies (D&C 29:36). Because they were not faithful in keeping their first estate Satan and his third are the only ones out of God's children that will never pass through the first veil; no woman will ever create a body for them or shed her blood by bearing them into the world, nor will they ever have wives or children. This is one of the reasons that many of Satan's tactics are directed at women and at the structure which protects and guards the first veil... the family. Satan is doing everything in his power to convince women that their bodies, which are the gateway through the first veil, are dirty, ugly, imperfect, dysfunctional and of no importance. He is doing everything he can to distract and confuse women so that they abandon their responsibility as the guardians of life into this world. If he can destroy women's faith in their bodies and help them lose sight of the importance of the first veil---and the power and sanctity of conception, pregnancy and birth--- then he is well on his way to thwarting God's plan.

Satan is also trying to convince women that men's stewardship over the second veil is more important than their stewardship over the first veil and their role as what Valerie Hudson Cassler calls "the caretakers of light", referring to the great work that women do as mothers towards pointing children towards the light and love of Christ. In her book "Women in Eternity, Women of Zion" Cassler says:

"... there is a sequence to the stewardships which leads to misperception of the absolute equality of the stewardship. The caretakers of light, in their work as mothers, must perform their work for an individual before the caretakers of the Word [referring to men's priesthood oridance responsibility]... Because of this fact, the full drama of the work of the caretakers of light is muted. We don't see how some accepted the offering made by the caretakers of light, and thus the sacrifice of the caretakers of light seems common. Their very sacrifice in their work as mothers is concealed because of its perceived commonness. Pregnancy, labor, delivery and breastfeeding are concealed as far as their full drama and their full glory are concerned. The sacrifice of blood and water--- sometimes even the very sacrifice of life itself by the caretaker of light-- is usually not seen by the family or the community, but rather by a birth professional- a doctor or a midwife.

... We no longer see the drama and we value less the gateway and the sacrifice that brought us here. Even the caretakers of light themselves begin to view their works as mothers as ordinary, menial and dirty instead of the glorious stewardship it really is. Only young children seem to recognize the importance of the work of the caretakers of light and reward it with complete devotion." (pg, 149)

Women's stewardship over the gateway of life and their roles as mothers is not less important in the plan of salvation than the priesthood ordinance work men do. God has given both men and women great gifts and powers which must be respected and used with wisdom and righteousness. I believe that how women birth and how children come into this world matters deeply to God. I feel that He expects the processes of conception, pregnancy and birth to be treated with the same type of reverence and faith with which we approach priesthood ordinances. I also believe that He expects women to protect their wombs, honor their ability to give life, and to participate in cultural and medical practices which bear witness to the divinity and power of women's bodies and the birth process.

God has different plans for each of His children and each is a unique spirit so it makes sense that each child's birth will be different, each woman's body will be different, and every situation will be different. Yet no matter what the situation women can counsel with God and receive direct revelation concerning their bodies, their pregnancy, their labor and their birth. There are numerous examples of women in the scripture who turned to God to understand how, when and why they were going to give birth and God answered them with direct revelation. These birth stories are some of the few examples we have of women receiving personal and direct revelation from God. I believe that they teach us that God is very interested in birth and in the experiences women have while giving birth.

I also know from my own experience birthing my children that no child comes into this world unaccompanied and that God sends angels to be with them as they enter this world. I also know that God sends angels to laboring women to help them as they birth His children into the light of the world. The veil is thin for a woman in labor and if she is listening she is able to feel the power of God in an incredibly powerful way. For a few hours she becomes a wide open portal into heaven, foreordained from the foundations of the world to bring the children of heaven into this mortal world. What a great blessing it is that God has such faith in His daughters to entrust them with such a great power! It is just another testament to me that God loves His daughters just as much as He loves His sons and that they both have divine gifts which make His work possible.

This post was originally entitled "The Importance of Birth" and if you'd like to read the original post and the original comments you can go here.

Feeling the Need to Explain Myself

While I really love blogging and love the conversations and ideas that are shared across them, a blog is a tricky thing. I've found that it is hard to write about things you are passionate about...like birth... on a blog because you never know who is reading what you wrote (unless they leave a comment) or if you were able to communicate your idea across to them in the right way. It is much easier to talk about things in person because then you both have the opportunity to clarify, to see facial expressions, tones of voice, and make sure you understand the other person's viewpoint. That is harder on a blog and I wish that I was a good enough writer that I could express myself so that I could be understood perfectly.

After some readers left heated comments on my guest post about birth and chickens and cows I've been worrying that, in my passion and zest for birth and empowered motherhood, I may have offended, hurt, or alienated some of my readers. In one comment someone claimed that I, "...often make comments that belittle or demean a hospital birth as the 'second class citizen' of births. After reading this post it seems to me that only those that are too scared, too weak, too unhealthy, or uninformed choose this 'lower' way of birthing."

This has really been haunting me because it makes me feel like... MUD... to think that I may have hurt anyone's feelings or discredited their birth experience. That is the LAST, the absolutely LAST thing, that I would want to convey to anyone. I've been agonizing over the idea that someone misunderstood me and is feeling belittled or ostracized because of what I wrote.

In all honesty I probably shouldn't have put a link to that post on this blog. When I wrote the post I asked the writer of the Gift of Giving Life blog if I could post it there because I knew it didn't "fit" on this blog. It isn't anything that is going in the book but I knew that it wasn't written for a general audience. I wrote it with a "birth advocacy" audience in mind. The purpose of the post wasn't to make a statement against hospital births-- or to make women who have had c-sections feel bad-- but to illustrate that women have a divine inner strength and knowledge about birth. I wanted to get the point across that doctors, midwives, doulas and other childbirth advocates need to trust and respect women's divine ability to give birth and that our practices in hospital-- and home-- births should reflect that. We need to be careful about when and how we use interventions because they affect women and babies, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Looking back I really shouldn't have linked to it, but like my high school journalism teacher liked to say, "Writing is an act of ego" and I guess I was a little too vain and wanted to share it with everyone.

Even though I am obviously passionate about home birth (and a part of me wishes that every woman could get a little taste of how incredible it is to witness a baby born in a home) I am most absolutely and positively, not anti-hospital birth, not anti-epidural, and not even anti-cesarean section. I truly believe that those are all wonderful advances in medicine and that they save a lot of women and babies lives. I realize that what is right for me is not right for everyone; that the "ultimate experience" of giving birth is going to be different for each woman and each baby.

One of the most important things that I have learned as I have been collecting birth stories for the book I am helping with is that God gives each woman different revelation about how her baby needs to be born. We've collected some really incredible stories for the book from women who have had intense spiritual experiences delivering babies with c-sections, epidurals, inductions, natural, at home, unassisted, and even women whose children needed to come to their home via adoption. I've seen that God has a different plan for each of His children and that sometimes a baby needs to be born a certain way in order for mother's and babies to learn important lessons. It is obvious that there is no one "right" way for a baby to be born and that natural births don't have the "corner on the market" for spiritual experiences during childbirth.

Ultimately, God is control of where, when and how babies get to this earth and our job is to trust Him and learn the lessons He wants us to learn from the experience. For some women and babies the lessons He want them to learn come through having home births, for others c-sections. We can't really judge another person's experience because we don't know what God's plan for them is or what type of experience they need. I don't think it really matters how or where a woman births, as long as she is counseling with her Heavenly Father, relying on the spirit, and trying to make decisions out of faith and not fear. Those are the important things.

That is my honest and sincere opinion for the deepest part of my soul. If sometimes I come across as being over zealous in my opinion of home birth, please forgive me... it is a hard burden to be passionate about something.

On Chicks and Cows

I finally got the video of my chicks hatching uploaded! It is in segments and there is kind of a long blurp of Asher running around our backyard digging in the dirt, showing off his new underpants, and saying cute things like "Cookie Mauker" and "Scripture Powder" (ie. Cookie Monster and Scripture Power). Oh... and please... ignore the brief martial skiff... we aren't perfect by any means.

Also I wrote a guest post at the Gift of Giving Life about what I learned about birth from watching my chickens hatch... and a really great story about cows.

Midwifery as a Calling

Dr. Ellis Ship and her "sister-wives"
Image Source

Did you know that the early days of the Mormon church, midwifery was a spiritual calling? That a woman was called to be a midwife by priesthood authority, often after having been nominated by the Relief Society, and set apart by the laying on of hands. She was usually set apart by a General Authority of the church, if available, and the calling was for life, much like the calling of Patriarch.

Interested?

I've been doing a lot of research about early Mormon midwifery and women's birth experiences for the book I am helping with. I have some incredible stories.

Read more about it on my guest post "Midwifery as a calling" at The Gift of Giving Life.

Spanish Mattress Commerical

This is such a beautiful ad. If I were really rich I would love to do more mainstream ads like this so that American women could see how normal, peaceful and beautiful birth can be... that it isn't all fear, drama, and screaming. Also I love this ad because there is something so deeply beautiful and intimate about a baby being born in the same bed or house in which he was conceived. Too bad that I don't think this type of ad would fly in the US... maybe someday.



Thanks to Musing of a Redhead for this video

The Book Project

In my last post I tagged one of the girls that I am working on a book with and I realized that I haven't ever mentioned the project and that most of you don't know what I've been up to... unless of course you see me on a regular basis and then you are probably sick of hearing me talk about it!

Well... back in December I met two incredible ladies through my Women in the Scriptures blog who both write blogs about the spirituality of birth (Mother Earth writes the blog "The Gift of Giving Life" and Buscando la Luz writes the blog "Birth Faith"). I found out that they were collecting birth stories from LDS women who had positive or spiritual experiences during birth and that they were planning on publishing a book for LDS women about the spiritual nature and power of birth. I sent Mother Earth Roses' birth story and chatted with them both through blogs and emails. After reading several of the things I'd written about Eve (here) and Mary (here) on my blog they asked if I would want to contribute to the book. Are you kidding... YES!

We've been collecting stories, sharing ideas and working on drafts the last few months and it has really been an incredible experience working with these amazing women. There are six of us total that are working on the book and we live all over the country. Several of us have never met but through the miracle of the Internet we now feel like good friends. We all have different strengths and perspectives and it is making for a pretty incredible product. Rixa who writes the blog "Stand and Deliver" is another one of the women working on the book and the other two don't have blogs but you can take my word that they are pretty incredible women as well. We are hoping to have the book published in the next year or so and after that there is a movie (along the same lines as the book) in the works and possibly much more. It is really exciting and it feels like God has brought us all together to do something important. I know for me at least it has been a direct answer to my prayers and I am humbled, and a bit intimidated, to be numbered among such amazing women.

The book is going to include stories about women who birth in all different ways-- medicated, home, c-section, unassisted-- and they are still collecting stories. So no matter how you birthed your children if you are LDS and have a spiritual insight to share about pre- conception, pregnancy, labor or postpartum PLEASE send it to ldsbirthstories@gmail.com

Oh, and if you want a little taste of what I am going to be contributing to the book you can read my post "The Importance of Birth" on my other blog.

Call for Birth Stories

Recently I found this woman's blog and am so excited about what she is doing. She is writing a book for LDS women and other women of faith that shares positive and/or spiritual pregnancy and birth stories. Her hope is to help women of faith to make conscious and spiritually based choices about pregnancy, birth, and beyond. She is looking for women to share their birth stories or about their journey through conception, pregnancy, birth and postpartum. She doesn't care how you birthed-- naturally, epidural, at home, unassisted, or c-section-- if you have a spiritual insight about your birthing experience she'd be interested. Here are some of the topics she is still looking for stories about.

I think that this is such an incredible idea for a book and am really excited to see her finished product. Birth is innately and powerfully spiritual. Yet, it seems like the spiritual aspects of birth often gets skipped over for most pregnant women. I'm really excited to read stories from other LDS women who found spiritual strength and power from the birthing experience. She is also in the beginning stages of producing a movie along the same lines as the book. Am I excited? You better believe it!

I've really wanted to write a post about my spiritual journey while being pregnant and giving birth but it is so hard to find all the right words. I have so much in my heart and my mind that I am having a hard time putting it down in print. But I think I am going to try. It will probably take a few posts and you might have to wait awhile for it, but I'll do it. Oh, now I'm committed..eek.

In the meantime if you feel prompted to share your story PLEASE write it down and send it in for this book. God teaches each woman different lessons through childbirth and it strengthens all women to hear them.

Your Best Birth: Book Review

You know you are birth junkie when you go on vacation, only 6 weeks after having a baby, and you take a book about birth along for "fun reading". At one point the woman across the aisle from me on the airplane gave me a strange look. I wanted to yell across to her, "No, I'm not pregnant! I'm a doula". I restrained myself but decided I'd better keep the book in my bag... at least while I was holding a newborn.

In the last few years I've read A LOT of books on birth and this is definitely one of my new favorites.

It is written by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein the producers of the documentary "The Business of Being Born." When I picked this book up at the library I wasn't sure if I was going to like it, I thought that it might just be a repeat of the movie. While I liked the movie for its ability to highlight how out of control maternity care is in the United States, I didn't think that it did much to help women find the choices that would help them and their baby have the best possible birth experience. Well, this book fills in what the movie left out. Yes, it is biased towards natural birth (it says that right on the front cover) but its main emphasis is on helping women discover that they have choices about how and where they give birth. It challenges women not to just let birth "happen" to them, but to be informed, active and constructive participants in the birth process. In their introduction they say:

"This book is not intended to lecture you about the way you should have your baby, but it is about helping you overcome your fears, the pressures, and the fads and ultimately allowing you to have an empowering and beautiful experience to share with your family. This book will serve as a reminder that giving birth is something women instinctually know how to do, and that you can tap into your own innate sense of power to take back the birth experience. " (pg.xxiii)

I thought that this was a really empowering book and I loved how they talked about birthing women as "goddesses". Throughout the book they share the birth experiences of several "Birth Goddesses", celebrities like Melissa Joan Hart, Kellie Martin, Laila Ali, and Cindy Crawford (listen to her story here and here... it is fantastic). This is my new favorite quote about birth and I wish that I could post it on every pregnant mother's (especially first time mother's) bathroom mirror:

"Creating life is goddess work. You are stronger, more powerful, and more focused than you've ever been. Life force is coursing through your body and you are living life in a heightened state of awareness. You are extremely sensitive to smell and taste and to the people, situations, and changes in the atmosphere that might do you or your baby harm. What might make you feel vulnerable also makes you fierce. People better watch out because you will do almost anything to protect your baby.

In this state you are amazing. You are going to access parts of yourself that you didn't know existed. You are going to face your fears. You have decided to face pain and handle it in a way that makes you most comfortable. Dealing with fear and facing pain are the kinds of things that most people run from as fast as they can, but not you. You are the birth goddess and you will do what needs to be done.

When you come out the other side of this experience, you will be a different woman than when you went in. You will know yourself better and have a much broader sense of what you are capable of doing. You will be smarter and stronger than you've ever been before. Each birth experience is extraordinary, yet at the same time birth is commonplace. Millions of women do this every year. After the birth of your child, you will be connected to all the women who have given birth across the centuries as well as deeply connected to your baby." (pg.31-32)

What a beautiful way to approach birth, and such a different perspective than what most women in the United States are accustomed to. What if doctors put quotes like these in their prenatal pamphlet bags instead of formula samples? How different would maternity care be then? How different would women view their bodies? How different would society treat women, especially mothers?

There is a lot of information about birth out there, much of it contradicting, and it can be confusing for a woman to know which choices are right for her and her baby. When it comes right down to it how a woman births is a personal and spiritual decision. She deserves to be educated and aware of all her options and risks; she shouldn't have to make a choice as important as where and how to birth her baby out of fear.

I think that this book does a good job presenting all the options and helping women weigh the risks and benefits. It also reminds women that birth is big business for hospitals and doctors and that they need to be proactive consumers. Lake and Epstein mention that most women spend more time researching their stroller than they do the doctor or the hospital that are going to deliver their baby. Women need to do their research and demand the type of care that treats women like the "birth goddesses" they are, especially when they are paying big bucks.

One of my favorite chapters was the one for women who are the victims of sexual abuse. Sexual abuse is topic that most birth books don't address, so I found it fascinating to read the birth experiences of women whose births helped them heal and to gain confidence in themselves and in their bodies. Birth is definitely not a "one size fits all" commodity and every woman should make an educated and personal decision about what type of care she wants for her and her baby. There will always be unknowns and uncertainties in birth, but it is empowering for a woman to know that if she is proactive she can create the birth experience she needs to heal and grow as an individual.

I would high recommend this book to any pregnant woman, especially a first time mother, a woman thinking (even remotely) about having a natural birth, a survivor of sexual abuse, or a woman whose first birth experience wasn't everything she wanted it to be. Birth really is goddess work and it is nice to read a book that reminds us of that.

Rose's Birth Story

"Birth is not an emergency. It is an emergence."

- Unknown

The night before Rose was born I was sitting at our computer finishing writing a blog post when I turned to Jon, who was sitting on the couch doing homework, and said, "Man, it feels like this little girl is trying to push her way out of me!" For the last few minutes she had been pushing her feet against my ribs and it felt like she was wiggling her head in a semi-circle around my pelvis. It was a very strange sensation and she kept hitting nerves in my legs that would make my hip spasm. Jon just laughed and said "maybe she is" and we both left it at that, secretly hoping that he was right but not feeling optimistic because I hadn't been having very many contractions that night. We finally went to bed around 10:30 PM and didn't even bother to clean up the front room and dining room like we normally had been doing before bed, because we figured that she wasn't going to come that night and that we would just clean up in the morning.

I slept really well that night, I didn't even wake up to go to the bathroom, until I woke up at about 4:30 AM with several strong contractions. They were interesting contractions because even though they were fairly strong and uncomfortable, after each one I would get a wave of pure pleasure sensation that rushed through my whole body and made me feel wonderful. For a few minutes I just laid in bed and "rode" the sensation-- focusing on making it through the strong contraction and then relishing in the feeling of pleasure and relaxation that followed. This didn't last very long and soon my legs really started to hurt and I got up to go sit on the toilet. The contractions didn't go away when I stood up, in fact they increased in intensity, and so I realized that this must be the real thing and that I was in labor.

I have to admit that as I sat on the toilet and tried to relax through the strong contractions that I got really scared. These contractions were really strong, stronger than I ever remember having with Asher, and I was having a hard time relaxing through them. I still thought that I had at least 7 or 8 more hours of labor ahead of me (if things went similar to Asher's labor and birth) and started doubting whether I was strong enough to make it through. I sat on the toilet with my hips spread as far apart as I could get and with each contraction pushed my hands into the femoral nerve in my hips to help ease my leg pain. I sat like this, still trying to calm my fears and fill my mind with positive thoughts and affirmations, for about 10-15 minutes until Jon knocked on the door to see if I was alright. I told him that I was but that I thought I was in labor. He just got the biggest smile on his face and in my head I thought "Why are you smiling, this isn't fun."

After getting off the toilet I went downstairs and glanced at the clock which said it was 5:00 AM. I could hear that Jon was already in the shower (I tell you that boy was EXCITED!) but my contractions were getting stronger and I was having a hard time dealing with them by myself so I barged into the bathroom and told Jon "I need you, get out now." So he ran upstairs and got dressed and I put on my bathrobe and my mother shower bracelet-- which really helped me to feel stronger and to think positive thoughts.

Even though the contractions were strong they were REALLY erratic. Jon and I tried timing them but they didn't have any sort of pattern to them. I would get 2 or 3 really strong contraction that were only a minute apart, but then I would get several weak contractions that were about 5 to 10 minutes apart. I was also having pretty intense pain in my legs that didn't go away in between contractions. When we called the midwife (just a little after 5 am) she told us that it sounded like the baby's head was not in the best position and that was probably why my contraction pattern was irregular and why I was getting leg pain. She told me to use the "polar bear position" (laying with your head on the ground and your pelvis up in the air) and to lean over the bed or a birth ball to help open up my pelvis and let the baby move her head into a better position. She said that usually when the baby is in a less than optimal position labor doesn't progress as quickly because the contractions don't dilate the cervix as well. She told us that she would start getting ready and that we should call her in about an hour to let her know how things were progressing.

For the next hour I spent most of my time leaning over the changing table or the couch swaying my hips, in the "polar bear" position on the floor, or leaning over the birth ball. I also found myself talking and singing to the baby a lot. I would tell her "move, baby move" and even made up a little song that went something like "I love you baby, baby come to me, come to me and I'll set you free." Not the most brilliant lyrics ever written but singing to her helped me relax in between the contractions and to feel safe. After awhile the contractions got so strong that I couldn't handle them by myself and needed Jon to squeeze both my hips together as hard as he could. In fact, I found that I couldn't relax through them at all (which I had been able to do with Asher) and the only way I could make it through them was to have Jon squeeze my hips and for me to bellow "HARDER, SQUEEZE HARDER" at him. It was the combination of him pushing back against the contraction and me being able to bellow out some of the intensity that allowed me to emerge on the other side of the contraction still somewhat in control and calm.

It was about this point that I really started to get scared and to doubt that I was going to be able to make it through to the end. I was really discouraged by the thought that because the baby was still in a less than optimal position that these contractions weren't doing much to help me progress. I remember leaning over the birth ball and telling myself, "I could handle this if I only knew that each contraction was doing what it is suppose to" and wanting to cry and give up. It was then that I asked Jon if he would give me a blessing that everything would be alright. In between contractions I knelt in the polar bear position and he put his hands on my head and gave me one of the most amazing and beautiful blessings I've ever received. I wish I could remember everything that was said, but I do remember the amazing peace I felt. I also remember that in the blessing I was told that Heavenly Father was aware of me, that everything would be alright, that I was not alone, and that He had sent angels to be with me and my baby.

It wasn't long after the blessing, probably around 6:30 AM, that I felt the baby move down and the pain in my legs eased up and knew that she had moved into a better position. Up until this point my contractions had still been erratic and inconsistent, but once she moved her head into position they started to take on a more consistent pattern. We talked with the midwife again and told her that things seemed to become more consistent and that I had had a little bleeding when I sat on the toilet. She said that this was a good sign as it meant that my cervix was dilating and she said that she would be there as soon as she could. She also said that it was okay for me to get in the birth pool if I wanted (which I did!) as long as I got out if my contractions slowed down or stopped.

Somehow, in the midst of squeezing my hips through every contraction and talking with the midwife, my amazing husband managed to get the birth pool all blown up and filled with water. Actually at one point I remember he was having a hard time getting the liner on the pool and asked me if I could come help him. I remember thinking he was totally crazy to be asking me to do anything at that point and gave him a look of death. But in the end I did end up holding the edge of the liner for second while he got it pulled on.

Basically... Jon was amazing. He was there for me with his strong arms and his loving touch through almost every contraction. He didn't once get flustered or upset by my constant command of "SQUEEZE HARDER", even though sometimes I could feel his arms shaking. There are only two times I remember having to go through a contraction alone-- because he was running the pump for the pool and didn't hear me call for him. And during one of those contractions I know for certain that I wasn't alone. Right at the peak of one of my hardest and longest contractions, when Jon wasn't able to be there for me, I looked down at my hand and felt that someone was holding it. I knew at that moment that what Jon said in the blessing was true, God was aware of me and there were angels with me.

Jon helped me get into my sports bra (for Asher's birth I didn't wear one and later regretted it because then I couldn't show the pictures to anyone) and into the tub. The water was really hot because it wasn't all the way full yet, but I didn't want to wait any longer to get in. The hot water was amazing and relaxed my body all over. In fact, I almost didn't feel the first two contractions I had in the water because I was so relaxed. By this time it was about 7:00 in the morning and Asher was still asleep upstairs. We had two friends who had offered to come get Asher and watch him while I was in labor, but Jon had tried calling both of them and neither one of them answered their phones. I think that one of our angels must have been upstairs keeping Asher asleep because the last few mornings he had been waking up around 6:15 AM, but even with all the commotion Jon and I were making Asher miraculously stayed asleep until about 7:10 AM.

When Asher woke up Jon brought him down and he was super excited about there being a swimming pool in the middle of our living room. He kept trying to get into it and when he finally realized that he wasn't going to be able to he took to hammering it with his hammer. He was really sweet to me and gave me several adorable love pats and kisses in between my contractions.

I really only had 5 or 6 contractions in the birth pool before I felt like I needed to start pushing. I called for Jon, who had just put Asher into his high chair and gotten him a bowl of rice crispies, and he came over and held my hands while I squatted. Jon called the midwife and I remember hearing "Um... Heather (midwife's name) are you close because she is pushing." He was so incredibly calm and didn't seem panicked or worried in the least bit, and he told me later that he wasn't because he knew that I could do it and knew that everything was going to be alright. He told me "That is what your body is made to do... and it did it... what was there to be scared about." Yeah... I think I married the world's most AMAZING man. The midwife was still about 20 minutes away and Jon kept her on the phone as I held his hands and gave some more big pushes. I felt my water break in a little "poof"and then two pushes later I felt her head crowning. I reached down and felt her head pushing against my hand, (Jon reached down and felt her too) and then on the next contraction I gave one really big push and her head flowed out of me. Up until now I had been so engulfed in the sensations of birth-- the intensity of the contractions and the all encompassing urge to push-- that the fact that my baby was coming right then and there, without the midwife, hadn't really penetrated my psyche. But once her head was out I realized what was happening and had a couple seconds of anxiety. I know that since babies don't breathe until they take their first breath of air and because they are still attached to the placenta, that it is okay for them to be underwater but in the excitement of the moment I forgot that and started to worry about her head being in the water. I tried giving several pushes, but without a contraction my efforts were pretty much useless. The midwife was still on the phone and was able to reassure me that everything was fine and that I just needed to be patient and that the rest of the body would come out on the next contraction.

There is really no stranger feeling in this world than to look down and see that you have a baby half in and half out of you. It is a point all women reach at some point when they give birth, but with Asher's birth I wasn't as aware of it as I was this time. This time I had a few minutes to look down at the head I was holding in my hands and appreciate what an amazing thing I was a part of. I realized that for those few minutes my baby was in between heaven and earth and that I was a wide open portal between them. It was an amazing feeling and one of the most surreal experiences of my life.

With my next contraction I felt the rest of her body flow out of me and I reached down into the water and pulled her up into my arms. She was really alert and peaceful. She didn't cry at all, she just looked up at me for a few moments with big eyes and then closed them again and nestled into my arms. The midwife asked us about her coloring, reflexes and appearance and said from what she could tell over the phone that she sounded healthy and strong-- which she verified when she got there a few minutes later. Jon came over and put his arms around me and we both just stared at our amazing little girl. She was so peaceful and even started to snore a little! Then we started to hear a sweet little "mama? mama?" coming from the high chair and Jon went and brought Asher over to meet his little sister. He was entranced by her and kept telling us "baby, baby" and Jon helped him lean over and give her a little kiss. It was such a sweet moment.

I can't even begin to explain the feeling that filled that room as we huddled there together as a family for the first time. There really are no other words but "sacred" and "holy" to describe how it felt. Even though we weren't planning on having Asher there for the birth I am really glad that he was, because I know that he felt and understood the intense amount of love and peace that filled our house for those few minutes. And I know that we could all feel the presence of the angels who were watching over us. It has actually been hard for me to share this birth experience with others because it was so sacred and beautiful, and my words never come close to being able to describe what it felt like or what it meant to me.

Only about 5 or 6 minutes after the baby was born my friend Elizabeth, who we had called to come pick up Asher, came in the back door. I was still in the pool and Jon and Asher were huddled around the baby when we looked up and saw her tiptoeing into the room. She was shocked to see a baby in my arms and almost immediately started to cry. She told me afterward that, "the feeling in the room was incredible" and that she was honored to be a part of our special moment. She hadn't meant to intrude, she was just there to get Asher, but we ended up being really grateful that she came because we had planned on having Jon's mom at the birth but she was still an hour away when the baby was born. It was nice to have Elizabeth there to take pictures, run the video camera, and keep Asher entertained until my mother-in-law arrived. Jon's cousin Mindy, who was the other person we had called to come get Asher, also arrived before the midwife did and was shocked to find that I had already had the baby. She offered to take Asher but we were enjoying having him there so she left but came back later with a huge platter of french toast, juice and fruit.

The midwife arrived about 10 minutes after the baby was born and helped to deliver the placenta and get me and the baby all cleaned up. We got out of the pool and Jon and the midwife got me get dressed and settled onto the couch (with plenty of liners and pads under me) with my baby. She started to nurse right away and I was surprised by how hungry she was! I think Jon must pass on the "good eating" gene in this family because both of my kids have been able to tuck it away like pros right from the start! I was also surprised at how good I felt after this birth compared to Asher's. After Asher's birth I was really tired (I pushed for over an hour) and remember thinking "I don't want to do that again", but this time I felt like I could ride a bike to the moon and back. My body felt strong, my mind felt strong, and my spirit felt stronger than it ever had.

Even though things didn't go quite like we expected, Rose's birth was so amazing that I wouldn't change one thing about how it turned out. Her birth has brought Jon and I closer together and has made us stronger partners and parents. Every once in awhile we look at each other and we get big grins on our face remembering how together, here in our house, with no one to witness it except Asher, we delivered our own precious little girl into the world. Rose's birth has also given me so much more confidence in myself and in my body. I am simply awestruck by the amazing power my body has and when I look at myself in the mirror I think, "Wow, this is a body that has created, birthed and fed two other human beings". I understand now, more than I ever have before, how important it is to respect, honor and love my body. I've also felt more confidence in myself as a woman and as a mother. I feel like if I can deliver my own baby then there isn't anything in the world that I can't do with God's help. During her birth I got a brief glimpse into eternity and realized who I am and what I am capable of... and that has made me a different woman. I am so honored to be the mother to this beautiful little girl. She is has an amazing spirit and I so excited to get to know her better. But I do have the feeling that she is going to be keeping me on my toes for the rest of her life!

Let Me Introdcue You To...

Miss Edith Rose
(we are going to call her by her middle name-- Rose)

born at home on

Saturday, August 29th

at 7:45 am

after a super fast labor
(only 3 hours from start to finish-- yes it was intense, but more on that later)

8 lbs 8 oz
21 inches

Perfect
in
every way




















Oh, and note about my previous post--
I wrote it the night before (the 28th) and had it scheduled to post the next afternoon.
I had NO idea that I would be going into labor the next morning!
So just in case you were wondering
I didn't actually write a blog post 3 hours after my baby was born :)

In Response to My Last Post

I hope that in trying to explain part of my decision to have a home birth I didn't make anyone feel like I was attacking hospital births. Hospitals are not bad and wonderful births happen every day at hospitals. I would be completely fine with delivering at a hospital if there was ever a medical reason for me to do so. I know my "room service and busy restaurant" analogy isn't perfect, but it was just my attempt to try to explain how INCREDIBLY different home births are from even the most natural hospital births. If you've experienced or attended both types of births you will know exactly what I mean, but if you haven't it is hard to understand how different they are and why most home birthing women are so passionate about it. My analogy was just my attempt at trying to explain a little bit of the difference, but I hope that in doing so I didn't make anyone feel like I was trying to belittle their birth experience or hospitals.

The truth is that home birth isn't for everyone. There are some women who just wouldn't feel safe birthing at home and want the extra medical attention and security-- and that is JUST fine. But there are other women, like me, who feel safer and more confident giving birth at home, and who want a different type of care and experience than what is offered at a hospital-- and that is JUST fine. Every woman, every baby, and every pregnancy is different and there is not one right way to birth. The important thing is that a woman is educated about her body, her baby, and her choices and is then able to make the best decision for her and her family. It is a wonderful thing that women in (most parts of) the US have so many different birthing choices open to them and that they get to choose how they welcome a new life into this world. I believe that no matter how a woman chooses to birth she should be supported and respected, and I hope that maybe, in some small way, I was able to explain to those of you who haven't birthed at home a tiny glimpse into my reasons for birthing at home.

Room Service? or a Busy Resturaunt?

Tuesday night we had an appointment with our midwife and instead of having to travel to go see her (usually about a 45 min trip) she came up to see us! She had another client who had just had her baby and so she was coming to do a postpartum visit. It was REALLY wonderful to have her meet with us in our house, to lay on my couch while she measured my belly and listened to the baby, to have Asher running around in his PJs and trying to bring the midwife his story books, to talk about Baby Bird and how she was doing, to have the midwife get a feel for our house and who we are, and mostly to feel a sweet assurance that this pregnancy is a normal, healthy, and extremely joyful event in my life. After the midwife and her midwifery student left I realized that this was one-- of the many-- reasons why I am choosing to have a home birth again-- because everyone comes to me instead of me going to them!

I was trying to explain to someone the other day why I choose to have my babies at home and the best way that I could explain it was that that home birth is like having 24 hour room service with your own personal chef who knows how to cook your very favorite foods-- so you get EXACTLY what you want, when you want it, with complete personal attention, and in the comfort and privacy of your own room (or in this case-- house). In contrast, a hospital birth is more like going to a busy restaurant where there are lots of people demanding attention, there are limited choices on the menu, your movement in confined to your table ( room-- or sometimes even just your bed), and while you can tell the chef (the doctor or nurse) what you want they may or may not remember to bring it to you, plus if you stay too long the staff will try to "speed you up" or "get things moving" to make room for other customers or so that they can go home.

While there are sometimes in my life when I really love and enjoy busy restaurants, birth is not one of those times for me. I've attended enough hospital births to know that while it is possible to have a nice, peaceful, and natural birth at a hospital it doesn't even come close to the kind of experience that a woman and her family get from birthing at home. As hard a you try it is impossible to make a busy restaurant feel like room service, and while you can come fairly close it still isn't quite the same. I really believe that birth is one of the most sacred and intimate events in the life of a woman, her partner and the baby and it just makes sense to me to have it happen in what should be one the most sacred places on earth-- the home.

My cousin Liz has this phrase posted at the end of each email she sends and I think it is SO true, "Peace on Earth Begins With Birth". I truly believe that the birth experience is INCREDIBLY important to both a woman and her new child. It really does matter how we are born and how we come into this world, just like it matters how we leave it. I don't think it is any coincidence that in the United States we have a hard time treating elderly and dying people with respect. We tend to think it doesn't matter and that they are "just going to die" so we stick them in nursing homes and make it hard for them to die with dignity. If given a choice most people would never choose to die at a hospital, they would almost always rather be at home, surrounded by people who love and care for them and with things that are familiar. Fortunately in recent years hospice services have become more common and people are being given the opportunity to die at home with great peace and great dignity. Now I know that birth is not death, in fact it is just the opposite (ha! okay, lame joke) but just like how someone dies affects the whole family and all of society, how a baby is born has the same kind of impact on society and on families-- whether we are aware of it or not.

This is why even though we have to travel a bit for our prenatal appointments and have to pay for our midwifery care out of pocket (we have Medicaid and if we were at a hospital everything would be paid for-ugg. But hopefully after the new Medicaid bill passes home births will be covered! Keep your fingers and toes crossed!) it is SO worth it to Jon and I in order to be able to have the intimate, peaceful, spiritual, normal and natural birth experience that we believe that is best for us and for our baby. This is also why I am so passionate about improving maternity care in the United States, because not only is it a matter of making sure mothers and babies receive the best care (which they are NOT getting right now-- c-section rates are at 31%-- that is almost one out of three women-- not healthy!) but how a society treats birth influences how they view the importance of life and how they treat life.

A Breath of Fresh Air

Check out this month's editorial in the Journal of Obstetric, Gynecologic & Neonatal Nursing. I just about did a handstand after reading this nurse-midwife's (who only has done hospital births and has a daughter who is an OB/GYN) defense of home births and plea to the American medical community to stop attacking midwifery. It was SO wonderful to read something from the medical community that was cooperative and open minded about midwifery. Yippee! I SO hope that there are MANY more editorials like this in major American medical journals-- then things might start changing sooner! Did you know Canada's socialized health care system just added home births as an option for birthing women--- how come the US is SO far behind?!!! Here are some of my favorite quotes-- I bolded my favorite part :)

"... in our current health care milieu for childbearing
women, the protection of normal is not valued or
supported, except in a very few locales. Those who
support normalcy are usually swimming upstream
against a system that treats every laboring woman
as a surgical case. The idea that a normal spontaneous
birth is by design the best outcome for a
healthy woman and her infant is neither believed
nor entertained as a basic concept. Most U.S.-
trained physicians and sadly most U.S.-trained
nurses have minimal experience with normal labor
and birth.Without fetal monitors, intravenous lines,
infusion pumps, epidurals, pitocin, endless charting,
and rules theses individuals are helpless and
unskilled to provide the kind of informed human
support and wise guidance that a laboring woman
needs while the normal process of labor and birth
unfolds.

... the very core of my being, my
scientifically trained brain, and four decades experience
in the business of mothers and babies tell me
it is our system that is not serving mothers and babies
well. There is not some inherent danger lurking
for healthy American women who desire to give
birth at home. The primary danger is that the ‘‘system’’
does not support this choice. To pretend that
a normal healthy woman cannot give birth safely
without the trappings of a U.S. hospital is not only
audacious but also uninformed. Perhaps it is time
for a new woman’s movement, one that embraces
the normalcy of childbirth and puts mothers and
babies back on the center stage rather than the
system’s need to defend the interventionist subculture
it has developed and that it must financially
support. This system has not improved outcomes
for mothers or babies while the cost of care has
continued to escalate keeping pace with unnecessary
intervention. The recent initiatives of our
medical colleagues, the ‘‘authorities,’’ simply highlight
the painful reality that the ‘‘Emperor has no
clothes!’’

Meeting Time Change

For all those interested:

The Health Department has rescheduled the meeting originally set for Wednesday, February 18th, to Wednesday, March 25th, at 9:00 a.m.

HOWEVER! We are still getting together for an information meeting this Wednesday, February, 11th from 6 - 8 p.m. here at the birth center. Please join us to learn why the Health Department is having meetings about us in the first place, and what we as a community can do.

Clarifications

I feel like I need to clarify some of what I said in the previous post about birth centers. But first I do want to apologize for the "sharpening their teeth" comment I made about the medical associations, because it wasn't fair and I shouldn't have let my frustration get the best of me. The comment was mostly a vent of frustration about last year. The AMA hires a full-time lobbyist in the Utah Legislature and last year one of her main jobs was to get a bill passed that would greatly limit midwifery care in Utah. I don't mind that so much-- she was just doing her job, but it was VERY frustrating when the medical community (physicians and the Utah Medical Association) wouldn't sit down and work out a compromise bill. Instead they kept pushing their own agenda (and creating new bills) without being willing to sit down and discuss the issues with the other side. If fact, the physicians and medical association representatives who were told by the legislature to meet with the midwives and work out a compromise failed to show up for the meetings-- twice. As a citizen, it was really frustrating to feel like just because I didn't have the money to hire a full-time lobbyist my opinions and rights were being pushed aside.

So that is where the comment came from, and I am VERY sorry if I offend any physicians or medical personnel because I didn't mean to. I realize that physicians and nurses always have their clients well-being and health as their first priority and just want to make sure everyone is receiving optimal care. I respect that and admire that. I realize that doctors and nurses have really hard jobs and I don't think they spend all those hours just to make money. All the medical personnel I know are wonderful, intelligent, kind and giving people and I appreciate what they do. Again I apologize if I was rude or ugly.

The frustration I feel about the conflict between the midwifery and medical communities mainly springs from the fact that it seems like some members of the medical community are not willing to give midwifery a chance or to look at it with open eyes. They are VERY passionate in their opposition to out of hospital births, especially home births, but I know of very few OB/GYNs or nurses who have ever attended a home birth or a birth center birth. All they ever see are the less than 10% of births that are transferred to the hospital because the birth was no longer going smoothly or normally, or they see women brought in by lay midwives who aren't certified and who don't have the credentials to be delivering babies. It isn't fair to base ones opinion of midwifery care on the exceptions rather than on the 90% of women who have successful out of hospital deliveries with qualified midwives. I just wish that there was more of open minded discussion going on in Utah--there are in some other parts of the country-- but in Utah it seems like it is hard to get the medical community to sit down and talk about midwifery as a viable option. Which is why I think it is so important for people, on both sides, to attend the meeting next week!

There were several comments on the last post that I wanted to address. It was mentioned that my logic was bad because I said that hospitals were opposed to birth centers because they were competition, but then said that Utah only had one licensed birth center-- therefore making that argument illogical. I guess I should have clarified better and said that I wasn't just talking about Utah. The birth center battle is a nation-wide battle and lots of birth centers around the country have been forced to close. I don't really think it is a matter of money or competition, but rather a matter of clashing birth philosophies-- I'll talk more about that further down.

Also it was asked if I had looked into the reasons the medical associations were challenging birth centers, which I have. Here is a link to the document outlining the birth center representatives proposed changes and here is the Utah Hospital Associations proposed changes. They are pretty much in agreement except over three things:

1) The hospitals want a hospital transfer agreement for every client, rather than a written transfer plan for the whole facility. Which doesn't seem like a big deal, but would greatly limit birth centers ability to operate normally and smoothly. There are 22 states where these agreements are requires and half of them no longer have operating birth centers.

2) The birth center wants to allow Certified Nurse Midwives (midwives who are nurses first and then have two years of midwifery training) and Licensed Direct-Entry Midwives (midwives who are not nurses but who are licensed by the state and have 3-4 years of midwifery training) to deliver at birth centers. The hospitals say that only Certified Nurse Midwives should be allowed to deliver at birth centers.

3) Birth centers want to be able to do vaginal births after cesarean (VBACs) under certain conditions, which are the same ones already in place by the Legislature for LDEMs delivering at home. These are the conditions:

1. Client has had only one prior cesarean section
2. Client has a documented low transverse incision
3. Ultrasound demonstrates placental location is not anterior and low lying (ie, not over an old scar)
4. Client has signed a VBAC-specific informed consent
5. Client has had one or more successful prior VBACs
6. Client meets all other risk criteria of the birth center

I don't think the argument really is about safety or money, because numerous research shows that out-of-hospital births, when attend to by a trained midwife, are just as safe for low-risk women as birthing in the hospital. And only about 2% of women in the US have their babies outside of hospitals, so they really aren't that much competition to hospitals. I think what the debate mostly comes down to is a difference in philosophies of birth. The midwifery philosophy is that birth is a natural, normal and non-medical event in a woman's life and the less you interfere with a natural process the smoother it will go. Unless of course it isn't going normally and then medical actions should be taken to help. The medical philosophy of birth is similar in that birth is a normal, natural thing but that it is a medical event and that a woman's care needs to be managed and handled with medical interventions-- even if everything is going normal. Both of these philosophies have their ups and their downs, and research supports both sides-- it is up to individuals to decide which one they believe in. It doesn't really matter to me which philosophy a person believes in, I just believe that women have the right to choose which type of care they receive. And with the current lack of cooperation between midwifery and medical communities in Utah, a woman's right to choose a midwifery model of care is being threatened, and that is what I am passionate about.

Thanks for giving me the chance to better explain myself-- next time I will watch myself better and not let my passions carry me away. It doesn't do either side any good to sling mud, it just makes the gap harder to bridge. I REALLY do appreciate all the opposing comments I got (even though it would be nice to hear from you who agree with me:) because I think it opens up an important conversation, and hopefully helps both sides understand each other better. So, I really do appreciate the opposing opinions and hope that we can all still be friends, even if we disagree! :)