In Response to My Last Post

I hope that in trying to explain part of my decision to have a home birth I didn't make anyone feel like I was attacking hospital births. Hospitals are not bad and wonderful births happen every day at hospitals. I would be completely fine with delivering at a hospital if there was ever a medical reason for me to do so. I know my "room service and busy restaurant" analogy isn't perfect, but it was just my attempt to try to explain how INCREDIBLY different home births are from even the most natural hospital births. If you've experienced or attended both types of births you will know exactly what I mean, but if you haven't it is hard to understand how different they are and why most home birthing women are so passionate about it. My analogy was just my attempt at trying to explain a little bit of the difference, but I hope that in doing so I didn't make anyone feel like I was trying to belittle their birth experience or hospitals.

The truth is that home birth isn't for everyone. There are some women who just wouldn't feel safe birthing at home and want the extra medical attention and security-- and that is JUST fine. But there are other women, like me, who feel safer and more confident giving birth at home, and who want a different type of care and experience than what is offered at a hospital-- and that is JUST fine. Every woman, every baby, and every pregnancy is different and there is not one right way to birth. The important thing is that a woman is educated about her body, her baby, and her choices and is then able to make the best decision for her and her family. It is a wonderful thing that women in (most parts of) the US have so many different birthing choices open to them and that they get to choose how they welcome a new life into this world. I believe that no matter how a woman chooses to birth she should be supported and respected, and I hope that maybe, in some small way, I was able to explain to those of you who haven't birthed at home a tiny glimpse into my reasons for birthing at home.

Room Service? or a Busy Resturaunt?

Tuesday night we had an appointment with our midwife and instead of having to travel to go see her (usually about a 45 min trip) she came up to see us! She had another client who had just had her baby and so she was coming to do a postpartum visit. It was REALLY wonderful to have her meet with us in our house, to lay on my couch while she measured my belly and listened to the baby, to have Asher running around in his PJs and trying to bring the midwife his story books, to talk about Baby Bird and how she was doing, to have the midwife get a feel for our house and who we are, and mostly to feel a sweet assurance that this pregnancy is a normal, healthy, and extremely joyful event in my life. After the midwife and her midwifery student left I realized that this was one-- of the many-- reasons why I am choosing to have a home birth again-- because everyone comes to me instead of me going to them!

I was trying to explain to someone the other day why I choose to have my babies at home and the best way that I could explain it was that that home birth is like having 24 hour room service with your own personal chef who knows how to cook your very favorite foods-- so you get EXACTLY what you want, when you want it, with complete personal attention, and in the comfort and privacy of your own room (or in this case-- house). In contrast, a hospital birth is more like going to a busy restaurant where there are lots of people demanding attention, there are limited choices on the menu, your movement in confined to your table ( room-- or sometimes even just your bed), and while you can tell the chef (the doctor or nurse) what you want they may or may not remember to bring it to you, plus if you stay too long the staff will try to "speed you up" or "get things moving" to make room for other customers or so that they can go home.

While there are sometimes in my life when I really love and enjoy busy restaurants, birth is not one of those times for me. I've attended enough hospital births to know that while it is possible to have a nice, peaceful, and natural birth at a hospital it doesn't even come close to the kind of experience that a woman and her family get from birthing at home. As hard a you try it is impossible to make a busy restaurant feel like room service, and while you can come fairly close it still isn't quite the same. I really believe that birth is one of the most sacred and intimate events in the life of a woman, her partner and the baby and it just makes sense to me to have it happen in what should be one the most sacred places on earth-- the home.

My cousin Liz has this phrase posted at the end of each email she sends and I think it is SO true, "Peace on Earth Begins With Birth". I truly believe that the birth experience is INCREDIBLY important to both a woman and her new child. It really does matter how we are born and how we come into this world, just like it matters how we leave it. I don't think it is any coincidence that in the United States we have a hard time treating elderly and dying people with respect. We tend to think it doesn't matter and that they are "just going to die" so we stick them in nursing homes and make it hard for them to die with dignity. If given a choice most people would never choose to die at a hospital, they would almost always rather be at home, surrounded by people who love and care for them and with things that are familiar. Fortunately in recent years hospice services have become more common and people are being given the opportunity to die at home with great peace and great dignity. Now I know that birth is not death, in fact it is just the opposite (ha! okay, lame joke) but just like how someone dies affects the whole family and all of society, how a baby is born has the same kind of impact on society and on families-- whether we are aware of it or not.

This is why even though we have to travel a bit for our prenatal appointments and have to pay for our midwifery care out of pocket (we have Medicaid and if we were at a hospital everything would be paid for-ugg. But hopefully after the new Medicaid bill passes home births will be covered! Keep your fingers and toes crossed!) it is SO worth it to Jon and I in order to be able to have the intimate, peaceful, spiritual, normal and natural birth experience that we believe that is best for us and for our baby. This is also why I am so passionate about improving maternity care in the United States, because not only is it a matter of making sure mothers and babies receive the best care (which they are NOT getting right now-- c-section rates are at 31%-- that is almost one out of three women-- not healthy!) but how a society treats birth influences how they view the importance of life and how they treat life.

Soul Friend

Sorry I've been missing in action for the last week or so, but I had a VERY good excuse. My friend UC (her German name is unpronounceable by Americans so in the US she goes by her initials) came and visited from Germany for the week. It was wonderful.

We meet in my Junior year of High School when she was a foreign exchange student, and we haven't seen each other for over 8 years. I was so worried before she came that it would be awkward between us or that we wouldn't have anything in common, but as soon as we met at the airport is was like we had never been apart. We had SO MUCH to talk about all week and had some WONDERFUL conversations. I feel like we are better friends now than we ever were before. I don't know how to explain it but there are just some friends who are "soul friends" and who you know will ALWAYS be your friend no matter how life changes or where it takes you. I truly believe that God knows that there are certain people who need each other and somehow or another (even if they live on opposite sides of the world) he brings those people together. UC is one of those friends and she is such a blessing in my life. It is fun to know that she will always be my friend and that I have someone to visit if I ever make it to Europe (someday!!!!!!) We really had such a good time together.

One of my favorite things we did when she was here was go to the Mountain Man Rendezvous, which was a gathering of some of the strangest people I've ever seen. They had a camp all set up to feel like it was the 1820s and almost everyone was dressed up-- we actually felt like the "weird" ones because we weren't dressed up like Indians or Mountain Men. Next time we go we'll have to deck ourselves out in full Mountain Man splendor.

This old man was my favorite-- he was quite the character. He had a whole blanket full of strange things for sale, and he told Jon that he had gotten most of the knives at the DI (thrift store) but that now the people there were "gettin smart and chargin more for em."

We also went on a few hikes and UC didn't have a hat so she got creative with her scarf.

She was also enthralled by "weird American" things like-- drive up banks, huge garbage cans, getting your mail out of the mail box IN FRONT of your house, German chocolate cake that is NOT German (neither are German pancakes for that matter) and HUGE American trucks like this one

It was fun to see America and Americans through her eyes, and I guess we are kind of strange. BUT Germans do have "American cakes" that they eat which are NOT American-- we made them and the closest thing they resemble is a big lemony sugar cookie.

Asher really loved having UC come visit. He was quite enthralled with her. This is him trying to give her a flower.

And this just happens to be THE CUTEST picture of Asher EVER!

We love you UC and miss you! Thanks for all the wonderful memories.

May is International Doula Month!

I know it is half way through the month but I still wanted to do something to celebrate International Doula Month! If you are new to doulas and have NO idea what they are, or if you'd like to know more about them you can visit my website that has more information and links. I thought that it might also be helpful to post some information about how to find a doula near you and how to become a doula if you think that might be something you are interested in. I've also included pictures of doulas in action (which I swiped from google) to help you get an idea of some of things doula do.

How to find a doula:

If you live in Utah:

• Utah Doula Association has information about how to find a doula in your county. If you live in the bigger cities, like SLC, Orem, Provo, St. George, then there are TONS of doulas to choose from. Some of the other counties don't have as many options, but there are always doulas who are willing to travel if you don't mind paying them a bit extra for gas.
• My website. If you don't live too far away, I'd love to be your doula!
• Some doctors and midwives have doulas that they work with regularly, you might want to ask your care provider if they can recommend anyone.
  

The Rest of the US:

• DONA (Doulas of North America) is the largest Doula certifying organization in the world and has a list of all the doulas who are certified through them. You can search it here to try to find a doula near you.
  
• There are doulas in almost every city in the United States and most states have a doula organization. Try googling doula and your state name and see what comes up.
  
• Some midwives and doctors have doulas that they regularly work with, ask your care provider if they can recommend any doulas in your area.
  

Outside of the US:

• Lots of European countries have huge doula organizations. In fact, in some European countries the government health system pays for doula care as a routine part of maternity services. In the Netherlands the government pays for every woman to have a birth doula and a post-partum doula ( a doula who comes to your house to do your dishes, watch your kids, help you with the baby, make meals, etc...) for two weeks after the baby is born! So chances are that if you are living in Europe your doula options are great.

If price is a concern you can always try finding a new doula who is working on getting certified or who is just starting out. Often newer doulas will taken clients for reduced prices so that they can get experience. You can contact DONA and they will send you a list of all the certifying doulas in your area, or you can ask other doulas in your area-- usually they have an idea of who is new and who is more experienced. Also, doulas will often accept trades for other services, like photography, massage, computer work, house work, etc... Most doulas aren't in it for the money, they just love what they what they do and want women to have good experiences. But it is important that couples know that what a doula does is important and is worth something. Besides, anyway you look at it doulas are always going to be cheaper than epidurals!

For those who want to become a doula:

If you've thought you might like to be a doula you should! It really doesn't take that much time, it is a pretty flexible job (you decided when you want to take clients-- granted you can't determine when they go into labor), and it helps to improve the quality of care and birth experience that pregnant women receive. You don't have to be certified to be a doula, there are lots of women who choose not to get certified because of cost or other personal reasons. But being certified does make you more professional and it is important to some clients. If you decide that you want to get certified then there are several different options:

• Doulas of North America (DONA). This is the largest, oldest and most recognized doula organization. They do have the most requirements, but after going through all of them you are very well prepared to be a successful doula.
  
• Association of Labor and Childbirth Educators (ALACE)
• International Childbirth Education Association (ICEA)
• Childbirth and Postpartum Professional Association (CAPPA)
  

Whether or not you want to get certified it is always a good idea to attend a doula training workshop. These usually last for 2 days, all day, and cost about $200. The woman I took my doula training class from was wonderful, here is her website that has more information about when her trainings are. I also just found out that there will be a CAPPA training offered in Ogden, Utah from July 30th and August 1st. The cost is $325 and you can contact Desirre Andrews at desirre@prepforbirth.com for more information about it or look at her website.

It is really my hope that in the very near future doulas are seen as an ESSENTIAL part of any pregnant couples birth plan. Having the support of a doula really make all the difference in the type and quality of birth experience a woman has. I've heard it said by a health professional that doulas are the best the BEST thing to happen to birth in the last 50 years. Which is sort of ironic because the idea of a doula is ancient, and it is really only in the last 100 years that women have lost the support of a trained "woman's servant" (which is what doula means in Greek) to help them through childbirth. So YIPPEE for doulas and I wish you all a very happy International Doula Month!

A Quick Update (Part 2)

So this part of my update doesn't involve any pictures of Asher, but it does involve some drastic changes to our little Cottage Cheese Cottage. The first being this new little building

A CHICKEN COOP!

A few weeks ago I went to Idaho to "babysit" my younger sister while my dad was on a trip, when I got back this little chicken coop was waiting for me. Jon built it out of some of the scraps he tore off the old shed in our backyard. It is wonderful! The chickens love it. Sometime we'd like to build a fancier one, but for here and now this one is going to have to work. It may be a little small for how many chickens we have (right now it is the perfect size but they are still only half the size they will be) but I figure they will survive and plus-- then they will be able to keep each other warm during the winter.

Okay, so I lied there is one picture of Asher. He likes to try to feed the chickens things through the wire-- like pieces of wood, metal pluming fixtures, dandelions, grass, balls, markers, and what ever else he has handy. It is a good thing for the chickens that they are behind the wire because Asher LOVES to chase them and try to pick them up-- which usually ends up with him whacking them instead. So I think the chickens are happier in their chicken run. But I can ALWAYS make Asher happy if I say "Go get your shoes on, lets go see the chickens" then he stops crying almost immediately, runs to the door, and sometimes makes "bock bock" noises. The chickens are worth it just for that!

The other big change at our house is that last Saturday we tore down the 100 year old shed in our backyard. The thing was monstrously huge and it took a crew of about 10 people with axes, hammers and crow bars to tear it apart. We filled two dumpsters and made 4 trips to the dump with all the scrap and junk. It was a big job and we just want to thank EVERYONE who helped us get it down. It was about to fall down any day and it is such a relief to me to know that I don't have to worry about it falling on Asher.

Here it is before the demolition

in the middle of being demolished

and after being demolished

Okay, I know it still looks junky, but it will get better. Our backyard feels HUGE now, I didn't realize how much space it was taking up. It will be such a nice space once it is fixed up-- but I've realized that I need to be patient. We can't do everything all at once and just like the rest of the house the backyard will be a work in progress.

So now you are officially updated on our life. Hope you have a beautiful day!

A Quick Update (Part 1)

I finally got a new computer (this one) and can download pictures now! Hip, Hip, Hooray! So now you get a massive overload of Asher pictures-- but don't worry he's cute so it won't be painful.

The first big event I want to document is Asher's new hair cut. This is actually his 3rd hair cut, but this was his first significant "buzzed" hair cut. He went from this little shaggy baby



To this clean cut missionary (oh, how I know it will really come all too soon!)



One of the girls in my ward helped me cut it (actually she did all the work) and afterwards I had such a hard time-- even though I tried not to let her see it. The haircut was wonderful, it was just that Asher looked like he had grown up 3 years! I realized as his beautifl baby hair fell away that he wasn't a baby any more-- and that was SUCH a hard thing for me. But I am getting use to the fact and really like his new grown up hair do!

I also have to post the rest of these pictures because they are so cute. These ones are of Asher helping Jon fix my bike a few Saturday's ago.





Then here is Asher sitting on his favorite step. He likes to take all his snacks, books, toys, etc... and sit here because it is just his size.




Here he is checking out his new cloth diapers for the first time. He still seems very intrigued by them.




And then lastly here is a picture of Asher and his cousin River last Saturday (her parents came to help tear down our shed-- but more on that later). I think this captures their personalities perfectly, River is all smiles for the camera while Asher's glare might break the glass!

Things Fall Apart--- at the same time!

Why is it that lately EVERYTHING in my house is falling apart? Three years must be the life span of all our wedding presents, because it seems like all the things Jon and I got when we were married are all starting to fall apart at the same time. First our laptop began to decay. Then all our clothes started to get holes in them or tear out in strange places. Then the mixing bowl on my mixer broke in half (which was actually my fault because I let if fall off the counter while it was spinning... opps). I ingeniously repaired it with epoxy, but it tragically broke back open again in the middle of making bread last week. Now it is beyond even my skillful repair.

Then our vacuum cleaner decided that it had enough of being a normal functioning vacuum and wanted to become magical. It decided that instead of sucking up the dirt on the floor and putting it it's bag like a nice vacuum it would make all the dirt magically disappear and then reappear in a bit fuzz ball in the middle of the closet two days later. I have the strange feeling that when I use it all I am doing is pushing the dirt around to new places. And I am tired of taking it apart every time I use it (which with a toddler is quite often). This is sad because this has been the most WONDERFUL vacuum cleaner and I want it to keep working!

Then to top it all off our shower faucet (which we didn't get for our wedding) started leaking a waterfall about two weeks ago and Jon hasn't had time to fix it. So we have to manually turn the hot water on and off every time we want to use the shower or tub. Which, in all honesty I am getting use to but would sure like to have it work.

Uggg. And the hardest part of the whole situation is that none of these things are cheap to replace-- hence the reason we got them as gifts in the first place! I don't usually stress out about money, but lately as things just keep falling apart it is starting to wear on me. I guess I just need to keep telling myself that I REALLY don't need these things, they are actually just luxuries and that I can survive without them. I can make bread by hand-- that is how it was made for 100s of years. I can keep manually turning on the hot water-- and should just be grateful that I am one of the few people in the world who has instant hot water. I can keep using and refixing the magic vacuum-- even if it doesn't work as well as I want. And I will get the computer situation figured out soon. Deep breath. Okay, life is fine. Another deep breath. Especially when I remember my Dad's fantastic financial advice which is "Anything that can be fixed with money isn't a problem, it is an expense." So really I don't have problems, just expenses and I can handle those-- just have to save my pennies. But if you have extras you don't need-- or a non-magical vacuum cleaner-- send them my way :)

Happy Mother's Day

I want to wish a beautiful Mother's Day to all the women in my life-- whether they have children or not. Because I believe all women have the divine seeds of motherhood within them and just because those seeds haven't yet taken root yet doesn't mean that a woman isn't a mother (I wrote more here if you want to read more of my thoughts on this topic).

I also want to share one of my favorite quotes about motherhood. I think it captures the essence of why I feel motherhood is so important and why I have personally chosen to make it my "career" in life. It is by E.T. Sullivan:

“When God wants a great work done in the world or a great wrong righted, he goes about it in a very unusual way. He doesn’t stir up his earthquakes or send forth his thunderbolts. Instead, he has a helpless baby born, perhaps in a simple home of some obscure mother. And then God puts the idea into the mother’s heart, and she puts it into the baby’s mind. And then God waits. The greatest forces in the world are not the earthquakes and the thunderbolts. The greatest forces in the world are babies.”

(Oh, he is so little! This picture was taken when he was about 6 or 7 months old. Because alas, I still can't upload new pictures-- but it is fun to look back and see how fast they grow up)

The Diapers Just Arrived!

Yeah! The cloth diapers I ordered from Jillian's Drawers (I am trying out their 21 day trial program which you can read more about here) just arrived! And they are SO CUTE! Oh my goodness are they cute. If they work as good as they look-- then I think I might be hooked. Asher is SUPER excited about them and has been carrying them around the house non-stop. We tried one on him and he kept patting his bottom and doing a little happy dance. It was cute (oh! How I wish I had a computer that worked so I could post pictures for you all to see! Hopefully I will soon.) I still have to pre-wash them before he can use them and I am super excited to see how the work out. I got the "gender neutral" colors (greens and yellows), which despite what Jon was fearing, DO NOT look poo and pee colored.

Oh, and yesterday I made my own homemade diaper wipes. I cut up some terry cloth material (or you can use old towels or receiving blankets) into squares the size of baby washcloths (which are almost exactly the same size as a disposable wipe) and then put them in a Tupperware container (or you can put them in an old diaper container) and added:

2 cups water
2 Tbsp baby oil (you can also use olive oil or essential oils)
2 Tbsp baby wash

I made about 10 wipes but I think I could do about twice that many with this recipe because my wipes are super moist. But they smell REALLY good. This way I can just fold up my wipes with the dirty diapers and wash them all together. Just one more thing I won't have to be spending money on-- only to throw away! Yippee!!! We got so many boxes of diaper wipes for Asher's baby showers that I didn't have to go buy wipes until a few months ago, and I was kind of shocked at how much they cost! They add up, considering how many we use!

Anyway, I am pretty excited to try this out. And if we don't like them we can send them back, or I will have some cloth diapers for my 72 hour kits AND will know how to use them.

Wednesday's Women

Women of the City Bountiful



Alma 53:7

Ever wonder what was happening to all the women during the war chapters of Alma?
Here is a little glimpse.

9th Grade Memory

Lately I've really been reflecting on experiences from my past, and unfortunately there are some of them I would rather just forget. Don't get me wrong, there isn't anything super "bad" or delinquent, but mostly I just regret how I treated certain people, or how I shouldn't have said something I did, or how I should have said something but didn't. One of these experiences that I've been thinking about lately happened when I was in the 9th grade and my English class read the book Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury.

I don't remember especially liking the book very much, but I do remember the assignment our teacher gave us after we read it. Part on the story is that in the future all the books are burned but certain people take it upon themselves to memorize whole books so that they can preserve them, therefore "becoming" the book. The assignment that my teacher gave us was to choose a book that we thought was important enough to us to memorize, and then present to the class the book that we could "become". I stewed over this assignment for a long time, because the only book I could think of important enough to memorize was the Book of Mormon or the Bible.

But I was SO hesitant to choose one of those books because 1) my teacher wasn't a member of the LDS church (which in my Eastern Idaho High School was kind of a rarity), and 2) because I was afraid that the other members of the church in my class (which was nearly everyone, except for one boy who was Jewish and a few others who were other Christian faiths) would think I was being "self-righteous" by picking to memorize the scriptures. I ended up choosing to "become" Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingles Wilder because it was the first book that I ever read all by myself. It was the book that first opened to me the beautiful world of words and got me hooked on reading. If I remember correctly, which I do, my presentation was very poorly done and kind of pathetic.

After all the class presentations were finished our teacher got up and with a surprised smile on her face told us that we were the first class she had EVER had in all her years of teaching (which let me tell you were MANY) where NO ONE had chosen to "become" the Bible or the Book of Mormon. She didn't say anything else about it and moved on with her lesson, but that remark has stung me to my soul ever since. It has kind of haunted me that out of a class of 20+ church going Christian teenagers, not one of us had the courage or strength to bear testimony of our faith. Perhaps others had different reasons for not speaking out, but I realize now that I let fear and insecurity stop me from bearing witness of Jesus Christ and of the importance of scriptures in my life. After this experience in 9th grade I promised myself that I wouldn't ever let an opportunity to bear my testimony, whether it was to people of my same faith or not, go by without acting upon it.

Lately, I've been thinking about this and remembering how awful it felt to know that I had missed such a wonderful opportunity to testify of my faith. I realize that there are so many opportunities in my life to bear witness of Jesus Christ and of the restored gospel that I just let slip away because I am afraid or insecure. You think that almost 10 years later I'd have learned something more about how to be a witness of God "at all times and in all places"! I don't know why I felt like I needed to write a post about this memory, but I've been thinking about it for some time now. I guess I just needed to remind myself that it is important for people to speak up about what they believe and why they believe it. The world is so full of prejudices and misconceptions and the more we can learn about the beliefs of others, the more we come to love and understand them.

Embarking on a Cloth Diaper Adventure

I'm kind of excited about this cloth diapering idea, it seems to have lots of benefits. From what I can tell people who cloth diaper all have their own reasons for it, but I decided that these are the reasons I want to give it a shot:

1. I am going to have 2 babies in diapers soon and I don't think our budget can handle buying 30+ dollars of diapers a week (newborns go through SO many!!!). There are several "one-size" cloth diapers that will fit from newborn through potty training. Even though it is a bit of an investment at first I think it will really pay off in the long run. Also I found this great website where you can buy used diapers fairly cheap.
2. If there is ever an emergency, like a flood, earthquake, or an economic collapse, I want to have some sustainable way to diaper my children so I don't end up using old towels or something else. I was going to buy some cloth diapers for my 72 hour kits anyway, so I might as well try them out and see how they work.
3. I like the idea of not contributing so much waste to the landfill. It makes me feel like a better citizen and better spiritually.
4. They are SUPER cute and really ingeniously put together-- definitely not what our grandmothers used!
   

BUT I still have some unresolved doubts about them, like

1. I am okay with wet diapers and breastfed exclusively diapers because they are water soluble and can just be thrown in the washer, BUT what about those awful sticky, stinky poopy diapers-- will I be able to handle rinsing them out?
2. What about when I am out and about, where do I stick the stinky, poopy diapers if I can't just thrown them away?
3. What do you do about wipes, do you throw them away seperatley? Do I have to wrap them in something? Do you just flush them down the toilet?
4. Won't "used diapers" be kind of gross? Will they get stinky eventually? What about stains?
   

YET, despite these doubts I think we are going to try them out. I found THIS wonderful program through Jillian's Drawers where you can try out 4 or 5 different cloth diaper types for only $10. They are new diapers and you get to try them out for 21 days, then if you don't like them you mail them back and it only cost you $10. But if you do like them you keep them and they give you a discount on them. So I figure I don't have too much to loose. I'll get a few cloth diapers and see how they work for us. Maybe they will, maybe they won't-- I'll keep you posted.