Womb Name

So I guess there was some confusion over my last post. Just to set things straight... we are NOT naming our baby "Apricot." That is just the "womb name." Jon's family always gives babies names before they are born. We called Asher "Buster" and Rose "Baby Bird" and none of them stuck... even though my niece did come dangerously close to really being named "corduroy"! This baby will certainly get a different name when it is born but until then its name is "Apricot".

I don't believe in giving babies final names before they are born. I think you need to meet the little person and bask in their spirit for awhile before you can know for sure what they need to be named. And actually this time we aren't planning on finding out the gender of the baby before hand--we figure that since we already have a boy and a girl we are already prepared either way. I've had several doula clients and friends not find out and it is really fun to see them discover it at the birth. It really is special and I'd sort of like to try it that way this time.

Anyway, I just wanted to clear that up. I guess I should have specified more that "Apricot" was a womb name but I just assumed that most of the people who read my blog were reading it when Rose was born and so they knew about womb names... but I guess that those who have only been reading the last two years might have been confused!

Good News Moment

Brought to you by Asher and Rose

Let Me Introdcue You To...

Miss Edith Rose
(we are going to call her by her middle name-- Rose)

born at home on

Saturday, August 29th

at 7:45 am

after a super fast labor
(only 3 hours from start to finish-- yes it was intense, but more on that later)

8 lbs 8 oz
21 inches

Perfect
in
every way




















Oh, and note about my previous post--
I wrote it the night before (the 28th) and had it scheduled to post the next afternoon.
I had NO idea that I would be going into labor the next morning!
So just in case you were wondering
I didn't actually write a blog post 3 hours after my baby was born :)

The Ninth Month

Being a duplex
I have been happy, my dear,
To loan you half the house
Rent-free and furnished
As best I could.

You have been a good
Tenant, all in all
Quiet, yet comfortably there
Tapping friendly on the wall.

But I hear
You have outgrown the place
And are packing up to move.
Well, I will miss
The sweet proximity.
But we will keep in touch.
There are bonds, my dear,
That reach beyond a block
Or a mile or a hemisphere
Born of much love and labor.

I approve the move
And gladly turn from landlady
To neighbor.

-- Carol Lynn Pearson

Mother Shower

On Saturday my cousin Liz gave a "Mother Shower" for me and it was an absolutely beautiful experience. A mother shower is kind of a like a baby shower but the focus is on showering the mother-to-be with love and pampering as she embarks on a new stage of motherhood. Baby showers are focused on the material parts of having a baby, making sure she has enough clothes and burp rags, while a mother shower (sometimes called a "blessing way") is focused on the emotional and spiritual parts of birth, making sure the mother has enough encouragement, love and support to birth her baby with strength and wisdom. It is a time for a woman to be surrounded, cared for and pampered by the women in her life who love her and her baby.

This mother shower was a bit of an experiment because while Liz and I had heard about them, neither of us had ever been to one. We were a bit afraid that people would think it was a bit too "new age", "hippie-ish", or "touchy feely" but it didn't turn out that way at all. It turned out to be a beautiful opportunity for women to talk about how amazing and beautiful it is to be a woman, to talk about the noble calling of motherhood and to rejoice in the prospect of a new life coming to this earth. I personally felt so much pride and joy in being a woman after this shower and was infused with a new enthusiasm for the miracle of birth and the privilege of being a mother.

I thought I'd share what we did for my shower and how it worked out, because I'm sure that most of my readers haven't ever been to this type of shower. The wonderful thing about mother showers is that, unlike baby showers where you usually only get one for your first child (and maybe your second if it is the opposite gender) you can have one for ALL your pregnancies because the focus is on helping the mother be ready for a new phase in her life. There are lots of different ways to give a mother shower and you can adapt it anyway you like. For example, one of the ideas I really liked, but that we didn't do for my shower, is for all the guests to bring the mother-to-be a frozen meal that she could save till after the baby was born. Anyway, here is what we did for mine:

Introductions

Liz invited a few women, only my sisters, SIL, mother, MIL, and a few close friends (so don't feel bad if you didn't get invited :) so that it was a small, intimate circle. We started out by introducing ourselves by our female genealogy as far back as we knew it. For example, I introduced myself as "Heather, daughter of Corinne, granddaughter of Louise, great granddaughter of Florence Grace, and the great great granddaughter of Mary." (and then everyone else mentioned how they knew me). Then we wrapped a piece of ribbon around our wrist and passed it to the next person till all the women in the circle were connected. The purpose of introducing ourselves this way was to remind us that we all have the common thread of womanhood to bind us together, and that each of us have women on the other side of the veil who love us and who are watching over us. The birth of a new baby, especially a girl baby, promises that that circle will continue and that life will go forward. Everyone is suppose to wear the ribbon till after the birth of the baby, but I'm not going to hold them to it because it still might be awhile :)

Letters and Beads

After the introductions, which ended up taking a little longer than I expected because of the beautiful insights people had to share, everyone got out a letter and bead Liz had asked them to bring. Every one's letters were different, some had messages of love, some had thoughts on motherhood and womanhood, some had messages to the baby, some had encouragement for me and reasons why I will make a good mother, and ALL of them were BEAUTIFUL. They also gave me a bead or a charm to go along with their letter, which Liz is going to string together into a necklace that I can wear while I am in labor so that I will remember what was said and that I am loved and supported. After reading their letter and giving me the bead then lit a candle and put it in the center of the circle.

I can't explain what an amazing experience it was to be surrounded by so many women whom I love and respect and to hear their words of encouragement and love for me. As they went around the circle and shared their insights and thoughts I felt such a deep peace. I realized that this is what being a woman is all about-- about making connections, eternal and mortal-- about reaching out and loving and supporting one another. It was an experience I will cherish always.

Presents and Refreshments

After the letters and the beads we ate refreshments and I opened some "traditional" baby shower presents. Which, as wonderful as the presents were, really lost a lot of their lustre and excitement after the spiritual presents I'd been given earlier. I felt like these women had already given me so much, in the form of love, praise, encouragement, wisdom and support, that I already had everything I needed for this baby. I realized that while material gifts are fun and helpful it is really the gifts of the spirit and the heart that sustain us through this life and help us become the people we want to become. A baby will still thrive without a fancy crib set or pretty clothes, but it won't thrive if it's mother isn't strong emotionally and spiritually. So as much as I appreciated the baby gifts I think I will be infinitely grateful for the other types of gifts that were shared with me that day.

Even so... the presents were fun... I won't lie.

After the shower was over a few of us were talking and expressed sorrow that there are so few times in a person's life when they get an experience like I had-- to have people you love tell you (to your face) how much you are loved and supported. Too often we don't say those sort of things about people until their funerals, and then it is too late for it to impact their lives. We decided that EVERY woman, even if she isn't a mother, deserves to have a mother shower (maybe you could just call it a "woman shower") and have the opportunity to be told how much she is loved, respected, admired and supported by the women she is closest to in this world. I hope that in the future it becomes more common for women get showers like the one I had, because we really don't have a lot in our culture that helps prepare a woman spiritually, emotionally and mentally for the challenges of womanhood and motherhood.

Here are a few of the quotes that Liz hung on the wall during the shower. I left them up for a few days because they made me feel so peaceful and strong. They also helped remind me of how I want this little girl to come into the world and what type of mother I want to be to her.

Pregnancy Pondering

I am really starting to get excited for this little baby. The midwife gave us our birth kit at our 36 week appointment on Monday and it got me SO excited. For those not familiar with home birth a "birth kit" is a tote full of some of the supplies that we will need during labor like: the birth pool, waterproof liners, towels, maxi pads, chucks pads (is that how you spell it?), a pump to blow up the pool, the hose to fill up the pool, baby care supplies, an umbilical cord clamp and other various first aid supplies. The midwife brings LOTS more supplies when she comes, including things like oxygen, pitocin (only for hemorrhaging) and suturing supplies, but the birth kit has all the basic things. It was exciting to take it home because now I know that I have everything I need to give birth ready and waiting in the closet. Well, really all I need is myself, something to cut the cord and a blanket to wrap her in, but it is nice to have things to make it more comfortable and not so messy ;)

As excited as I am getting I still don't want this little girl to come yet, she is only 36 weeks and I know that every day she stays in the womb the stronger, healthier and smarter she will be. Besides a part of me is REALLY going to miss feeling her on the inside of me. While there are things I don't enjoy about being pregnant (ie. sneezing and coughing) I really love the sensation of having another person move and shift inside of me. There isn't anything else like it in the world and it is such an amazing feeling to know that there is a complete human life, that I created, moving and living inside of me. It leaves me awestruck-- and sometimes a little weirded out to tell you the truth :) I've found that even when I'm not pregnant I can't help but stare at pregnant women (discreetly...) and marvel at the knowledge that she is feeling precious little kicks, rotations, pushes and hiccups and that she has a complete little person inside of her. What an incredible miracle. So even thought I will openly admit that I am starting to get VERY hot, VERY uncomfortable and YEARN to have a non-pregnant body I will really miss not being able to feel her move inside of me. My goal for the next month is to to allow myself to really enjoy those sensations and be content to let this little girl wiggle around inside of me for a bit longer.

And just because this post needs a picture... here is the sweetest picture of Asher taken at the swimming pool this week. He is quite the daring swimmer... and yes... I did wear a swimming suit being 8 months pregnant. In fact, I've decided that 8 months pregnant is the best time to wear a swimming suit because you don't have to worry about "sucking it all in", it is kind of nice.

Sewing Camp and a Burst of Energy

For the last few months this has been the extent of my creative powers.

I've thought of about a gazillon projects I could (and should) do, but haven't had the time or the energy to do them.

But last week my littlest sister Brittney came to stay with me for the week while Jon went with his scouts on a backpacking trip. We decided that we would have "sewing camp" so that Brittney could learn to sew.

It was a lot of fun and Brittney did a really good job. She made a pair of PJ pants, a cute peasant-style PJ shirt and a tailored pair of slacks (which pushed MY sewing abilities to the max because we had to alter them and change them ALOT to get them to fit and look cute) and we both learned a lot.

Asher LOVED having his aunt stay with us and the first thing he wanted to know every morning was where "Ni Ni" (his name for Brittney) was. And I REALLY appreciated her help because I don't know how I would have survived a week by myself with Asher and a broken foot-- which by the way the doctor says is now completely healed! Yeah!

After Brittney left I was still bitten by the "sewing bug" and decided to get some of the sewing projects done that I've been wanting to do-- and if I do say so myself, they turned out pretty good!

My first project was to make a bumper and sheet for Baby Bird's cradle. This is the cradle that Jon and all his siblings slept in when they were babies and which Asher slept in.

I made bumpers for Asher but they are blue and I wanted something more girly for Baby Bird. I didn't actually make the bumpers, they are hand me downs from my cousin, but I cut it down to the right size and sewed the lace and ties on. Now I just can't wait till there is a little baby laying in it!

Since I was still on a sewing kick I made a curtain for our bedroom window, it isn't anything really fancy but it was my first time making curtains and I am kind of proud of it. If I get ambitious I might make one for the other window in our rooms so that it is a little more balanced.

I think this splurge of crafting energy probably counts as an official "nesting instinct" because it has also been accompanied by an OVERWHELMING need to get my house clean-- which is happening little by little. It is kind of nice to have a little burst of energy--but who knows how long it will last :) I am starting to feel like I am ready for her to come now. I have a place for her to sleep AND don't have to wear the walking cast any more. So all my nightmares about having to be in labor with a broken foot are behind me now and I am really starting looking forward to meeting the little person who keeps kicking my bladder.