Men Nursing Babies

I forgot how much I love nursing a baby.

I forgot how sweet it is to have little lips tugging at me and feeling my body respond.

I forgot how beautiful it is to look down and see two big eyes looking back at me with love, trust, and perfect faith in my ability to provide.

I forgot how incredibly needed and important it makes me feel, knowing that I am providing all the nutrition my baby needs to stay alive.

I forgot what an amazing sense of connectedness I feel with my baby and with myself when I am nursing.

I forgot that even though sometimes it is hard or painful, it is still worth it because there is no other feeling like it in the world.

I think that one of my favorite authors, Louise Erdrich, explained it best:

"One day as I am holding baby and feeding her, I realize that this is exactly the state of mind and heart that so many writers from Thomas Mann to James Joyce describe with yearning-- the mystery of an epiphany, the sense of oceanic oneness, the great yes, the wholeness. There is also the sense of a self merged at least temporarily-- it is deathlike. I close my eyes and see Frost's too peaceful snowy woods, but realize that this is also the most alive place I know-- Blake's gratified desire. These are the dark places in the big two-hearted river, where Hemingway's Nick Adams won't cast his line, the easeful death of the self of Keat's nightingale. Perhaps we owe some of our most moving literature to men who didn't understand that they wanted to be women nursing babies." ("The Blue Jay's Dance", pg. 148)

No this isn't a breast.
It is Jon giving Rose the "bicep test".

He holds the baby up to his bicep (he even uses the cradle position!) and if the baby sucks it then he knows she is hungry enough to be passed on to mom. He also uses it as a way to keep a hungry baby "satisfied" until mom is available or ready to nurse. Most of the time he just uses the plastic pacifier to calm her down, but I think he really enjoys doing this when he gets the chance. It is the closest he will get to "nursing" our children and I think it is incredibly sweet.

I have a good man...
who just might have something in common with Keats, Hemingway, Blake and Frost :)

Ban the Breast Pump?

My beautiful friend Amy sent me this article and I've been stewing over it for the past few days. Surprising I found myself a little torn about what the author said. On one hand, part of me screamed "AGGG! How can you attack breastfeeding!!! What are you thinking-- you can't ban breast pumps!" and then other side of me realized that she did have a bit of a point. First of all, I don't agree with her that the US has taken "breast is best" too far, in fact I don't think we have taken it far enough. There are still a lot of women who don't realize the benefits of breastfeeding and who don't see it is a normal, natural thing for a woman to do. And there a lots of women who don't breastfeed or who don't continue breastfeeding because they don't have the right support or help. Yet, I do think that the author had a point in saying that women who choose to use formula don't need to be given guilt trips or made to feel like bad mothers. Women have a right to do what is best for them and for their babies, without being judged or scolded for it. I don't like it when people judge or scold me for my choice to have a home birth, and I think a woman has a right to make whatever decisions she feels is right without having to defend it.

Yet with that said, I think that the real issue behind this whole "ban the breast pump" notion is that we don't have a culture that honors or supports mothers. In most other developed countries it is required by law that women get at least 6 moths PAID maternity leave and most countries also have a law that fathers can take the same amount of time off from work (unpaid) without jeopardizing their position. I believe Sweden even gives working women a WHOLE year PAID maternity leave. Compare this to the US which only mandates that women receive 3 months UNPAID maternity leave. Also, most of the other developed countries provide free childcare for working parents and some even have programs that encourage mothers to take their children to work with them.

Just think about how these changes would affect women's experience of breastfeeding-- not to mention their attitudes towards motherhood. I don't think that it is breast pumps that are the culprits, but it is the fact that the US does very little to support or encourage women who chose to become mothers. It is really sad that mothers in the US have so few rights, and I really think it is time that women demanded them. Instead of complaining about how miserable it is to pump breastmilk at work, I think that this author would have spent her time better addressing the real underlying problem-- that women need to be supported by their employers, by their communities and by their government in their decision to have children and continue working-- especially when they have to work out of economic necessity.

I find it SO ironic that 50 years ago it was the rich women who fed their children formula and the poor ones who breastfed. Today it is just the opposite, it is the rich women who breastfeed their children and the poor who feed their children formula. This is mainly because the poor women have no choice but to return to work or their families starve, and often times have jobs in which it would COMPLETELY unpractical to pump at work. Can you imagine having to pump your breastmilk if you worked at Burger King?! I worked for WIC (the Government food program for Women, Infants and Children) for 2 years and in that time I realized that there are some children who would literally starve if it wasn't for the government provided formula, either because their mothers have to return to work or because their mothers don't have enough support to breastfeed. Yet it kind of disturbs me that the WIC program distributes almost half of the infant formula consumed in the United States-- making the US government the main purchaser of formula in country. I just can't help but wonder-- why we don't take all that money going towards formula and channel it towards providing mothers with government polices that would support them and give them more time with their children? We are already spending the money, we might as well use it towards doing what is best for mothers and for children. In my opinion it is every woman's right to have the opportunity, and support she needs, to breastfeed. If she chooses not to then-- that is her decision, but I think that at least women have the right to be educated about their bodies and to be given a real choice in how they feed their children.

Breastfeeding in Public

I just found this blog and think what the woman is doing is fantastic! She has been digging through old pictures in the Library of Congress to find pictures of women breastfeeding in public before the formula companies went on a campaign to make breastfeeding socially unacceptable (about the same time that birth went into the hospital-- hmmm... connected maybe?). They are AMAZING pictures. It really makes me even more upset at formula companies! Like I said before, I don't think formula is bad, but I do think that the tactics formula companies have used to get women to mistrust their bodies and give up control over feeding their babies is WRONG! I hope that seeing these pictures will help women realize that we have been duped, and that our bodies are not just sexual objects or dysfunctional, but are beautiful, sacred, and powerful. There is something innately beautiful and sacred about a woman and baby breastfeeding, and it makes me mad that people try to sexualize it.

My favorite is this one, you know that the baby must have been fussy and the mom just said "okay, I give up. I'll just keep it out and you can have it whenever you want it". I also really love this one. I think it captures the amazing feeling of love and bonding between a mom and her breastfeeding baby.

Just in case you need another reason to support breastfeeding

I know this is sort of old news, but the more I think about it the more and more upset I get!

Babies getting kidney stones and infections! That makes me want to cry. Right after Asher was born I had a kidney infection and kidney stone that put me in the hospital twice. It hurt SO bad (in my opinion MUCH worse than labor) and I can't even begin to imagine a baby having to go through it.

Tian Yaowen, who is 15 months old and has kidney stones, cries in a ward of the Tongji Hospital in Wuhan. From CNN.com

All because they drank formula that had been PURPOSELY tainted with Melanine, a chemical they use to make plastic. The formula company was trying to cut corners and make it look like the formula had more protein in it that it really did. They KNEW that BABIES would be drinking their product and they DIDN'T CARE! Oh man, it make me SO angry I could kick something! (pause... envision Heather kicking the leg of the desk)

I realize that formula isn't all bad. When I was in the hospital for my kidney infection, and on nasty antibiotics, Asher had to have formula for a little while. I have to admit that I was grateful for it. So, I'm not totally against formula. I believe that how a woman chooses to feed her baby is personal decision and should be respected. But with that said, I think that the tactics that formula companies use to get women to bottle feed instead of breastfeed are down right unethical.

For example, in some 3rd world countries formula companies (cough... Nestle--makers of Good Start and Gerber) provide women with samples of formula while they are in the hospital. Telling them that is a better way to feed their baby. This interferes with a woman's breastfeeding, decreasing her milk supply and making her baby dependent upon the infant formula. For most 3rd world women formula is much too expensive and so they water it down. Often the water they have access to is unclean, and so not only are the babies malnourished but also get diarrhea. UNICEF (The United Nations Children's Fund) predicts that one and half million lives could be saved each year by reversing the decline in breastfeeding.

Now for the classic shock effect picture.

If you haven't seen this picture before it is of a mother at the Children's Hospital in Islamabad, Pakistan, taken by UNICEF. The babies are twins, a boy on the left and a girl on the right. The mother was told she wouldn't have enough milk to feed both and chose to breastfeed the boy and bottle feed the girl. The girl died not long after this picture was taken. UNICEF says that the mother said "Use my picture if it will help."

Formula companies make me SO angry! The WHO (World Health Organization), in order to protect mothers and babies, has passed a code that formula makers are suppose to follow when marketing their products. Here are the guidelines. See how many of them don't seem to apply in the US (am I the only one who got 2 free cases of formula in the mail-- that I didn't ask for?).

Code for the Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes

1. No advertising of any of these products to the public.
2. No free samples to mothers.
3. No promotion of products in health care facilities, including the distribution of free or low-cost supplies.
4. No company sales representatives to advise mothers.
5. No gifts or personal samples to health workers.
6. No words or pictures idealizing artificial feeding, or pictures of infants on labels of infant milk containers.
7. Information to health workers should be scientific and factual.
8. All information on artificial infant feeding, including that on labels, should explain the benefits of breastfeeding, and the costs and hazards associated with artificial feeding.
9. Unsuitable products, such as sweetened condensed milk, should not be promoted for babies.
10. Manufacturers and distributors should comply with the Code's provisions even if countries have not adopted laws or other measures.