Thinking about Cloth

The great thing about our old house is that all the old people in our neighborhood can tell us the history of the people who have lived in our house. Our house is almost 100 years old, it was built in 1916 by Scandinavian immigrants, and we keep finding new treasures about it all the time. Just a few days ago the man who lives next door told us that the family used to have their own garbage pit in the back yard where they put all their household trash. At first I thought GROSS! You mean they had a mini-dump back here! But then as I thought about it I realized that families, especially farming families, in the early 20th century didn't produce a lot of household trash. Most families at the time would have had their own trash pits, because there just wasn't enough "trash" to even bother with having the city come pick it up.

This really got me thinking.

Yesterday as I was taking out a bag of trash to our garbage can. I realized that our little family of 3 produces a TON of trash, literally. We don't really realize it because the city comes and picks it up once a week and hauls it off to some place we never have to look at. But what if I did have to look at it everyday? What if for some reason I had to dispose of my own household trash in my own backyard, like the family who lived here 100 years ago did? I realized that we would be swimming in trash! It wouldn't take us very long to fill up our backyard with all the packaging, paper, and diapers we dispose of each day. Ugg. I realized that just because I don't have to see the trash doesn't mean that it doesn't exist and that it isn't polluting my community. Even though the dump is miles away from my house it is still my "backyard" and I have a responsibility to minimize what I throw in it.

Thinking about how little the family who lived here 100 years ago wasted and polluted made me reevaluate my own personal habits. I've decided that I am REALLY going to try and limit the number of packaged or disposal items I use. The more things I can reuse is one more thing that won't get piled up in my "backyard" or won't cost extra money to recycle. I know this is going to be harder than I think, but I really feel that it is important. Besides, I think it is just a smart way to live, and the way the God has been asking his Saints to live for the last 60 years. Prophet after prophet has warned us and counseled us to grow our own gardens, to live providently, to have food storage, and to learn basic living skills. I've decided it is time that I really start listening and making changes in my life. These are some of the ways that I am going to try to be more self-reliant and be a better steward of the earth:

1. Cloth diapers. I've gone back and forth on this one because it just seems intimidating to me. But I've been doing a lot of research and talking to a lot of people about them and I am starting to get really excited about the idea! They really don't seem like as much work as I initially thought-- in fact most mom's I've talked to say they are just as easy as disposables. And after taking Asher's 5th dirty diaper out to the trash yesterday I decided that if I had to pile up all his dirty diapers in my backyard I would be SO grossed out. Much better to have something I can wash and reuse. Also, I am going to have 2 babies in diapers soon and cloth diapers just seem to make more sense from a financial standpoint. I'll let you know how it turns out.
   
2. Bottle and preserve my own food. I have over 200 bottles that I got from Jon's grandma that are waiting empty in my basement. My goal this summer is to fill them up with apricot jam, apricots, pears, pear butter, pear sauce, applesauce, salsa, plum syrup, pickles, peaches, and anything else I can get my hands on. Yep-- lots of work, but I actually REALLY enjoy canning. I think food tastes better when you've gone through the work of "putting it up."
   
3. Have chickens. The fact that they lay eggs is just a bonus to me. I think I'd like having them even if they didn't.
   
4. Grow a garden. Check. Started on this one.
   
5. Learn to make homemade foods-- like bread (which I am getting MUCH better at), tortillas, tortillas chips, ketchup, mayonnaise, salad dressing, etc...

This is a start. I know it will take practice but it should be a lot of fun! It is exciting to me to think I can start living more like the family who lived here 100 years ago did. And you know what, I don't think it is going to be as challenging as I think-- just full of rewards!

I'd love to know what things you and your family do to help save money, live more providently and to care for the earth!

I Need To Get a New Computer

And I am thinking about this one

IMac G4
17-inch screen, 1.25 Ghz processor, 512K memory and 160 GB hard drive

What do you think? It is an older Mac, 2004ish, but I can't afford a newer Mac and I think I'd really like to try my hand at becoming a "mac person". Besides I think this is the COOLEST looking computer I've ever seen-- which in my opinion is a VERY good reason to buy a computer :) I don't need it to do anything fancy, mostly Internet, pictures and video editing, and maybe a little web design. I am kind of a dunderhead when it comes to computers, I have NO idea how they work and prefer to believe that there are little magical creatures in them that do what the keys tell them to. So, I wouldn't mind hearing anyone's computer buying tips or opinions about Mac computers, anything would help!

Oh, and since I am semi- computerless-- Jon needed to take his work computer to his office on campus. He is going to be working via long distance this summer and I distract him too much when he is home, AND our laptop is in the advanced stages of decay (the USB ports don't work anymore)-- my blog might be devoid of pictures until I figure out a new computer situation, sorry.

I Looked Out My Window and What Did I See...

POPCORN POPPING on the APRICOT TREE!



The apricot tree in our backyard started bursting with blossoms this week! It is absoultey beautiful and it smells HEVENLY! I am almost sad to see the blossoms go away-- but I know it means there will be lots of fruit this summer, so I guess I can live with it. There is also a perpetual buzzing noise coming from the tree because of the hundreds of bumble bees buzzing around. I am SO excited for spring!

And look who else decided to pop their little heads out!



Mr. Pea, Mrs. Onion, Miss Spinach, and ??? lettuce! (um... why doesn't the English language have a title for an unmarried man? Strange).



Yeah for Spring!!!
Hmm... now watch it snow tomorrow... I wouldn't be surprised :(

I LOVE Being a Doula!

Sunday I had the great privilege to be the doula at a beautiful birth. It was an amazing experience. It is already two days later and still I am basking in the glow of this birth. I just can't get over what an incredible miracle birth is and how AMAZING it is that women's bodies can create, birth, and feed new human beings. Really, it is the greatest miracle on this earth and I LOVE being able to help women have the type of beautiful, peaceful, and natural birth experiences they want to have.

I know as a doula I don't really do any of the hard work but when this woman's baby was born on Sunday I felt such a feeling of accomplishment. I think it is probably how a coach must feel when their athlete wins the Olympic gold medal-- you know you didn't actually run the race, but you sure helped make it possible. My gold medal was seeing the look of pure rapture, relief, and ecstasy that flowed over my mother's face when she finally felt the baby flow out of her body and enter her arms. It was an amazing moment. I had just spent the last several hours massaging, turning, squeezing, encouraging, directing, holding, stroking and watching this amazing woman as her body worked to bring her child into the world. I'd seen her breath through contractions, I'd seen her relax and allow her body to open, I'd seen her panic and cry, and I'd helped to encourage and direct her when she got scared and tired. But mostly I saw her dive into reserves of strength she didn't even know she had and find the strength to keep going. It was beautiful to see her how her husband cared, supported and loved her through the whole experience. It was this couples first baby and I could tell that he was in awe of what his wife was able to do. It was really inspiritng and stunning to be a part of.

I've decided I LOVE being a doula and that there isn't anything else that I'd rather do. There is not greater privileged that being able to help a woman make it to the end of her "marathon" of birth, to see her receive the baby up into her arms and watch the amazing look of joy and releif spread across her face. It makes all the work that I do as a doula, the massaging,the caring, the encouraging-- SO worth it! I really believe that every woman needs a doula-- even if she wants to have medications-- because no matter how a woman births she deserves to be surrounded by people who are there JUST for her and who believe in her, who respect her and who are able to give her continuous support and encouragement. Doulas don't over power husbands as the primary support giver-- they just help the fathers know what to do to help thier wives and how to be more involved in the whole birth experience. Birth is really such a miracle and as women we are so privileged to be a part it!

Thanks for letting me get more birth enthusiasm off my chest-- I have a lot of it if you can't tell :)

Everyone has Something to Give

About a year ago I discovered Freecycling and I thought that I'd take a moment and say how much I love and adore this wonderful program? idea? word?

If you aren't familiar with Freecycling here is a quick explanation: Most areas have a local yahoo group where people can post things they want to get rid of for free. You can also post asking for something that someone else might have and wants to get rid of. All the transactions are local and have to be made with no money changing hands. The idea is to prevent things from going to the dump that someone else might be able to use.

In the year that I've been particpating in Freecycling I have been a grateful recipient of some WONDERFUL free things, and have been the grateful giver of several items I was glad to have someone haul away. In fact, just yesterday a wonderful couple came and picked up the spare bed and pedastle sink we had lying around our house. They needed a bed for their grandson who was sleeping on a falling apart futon and were really grateful for the bed. It was the BEST feeling in the world to be able to give them something that they really needed and not to charge anything for it. It made me want to go post more things to give away just so I could get more happy tingly feelings.

This is the beautiful thing about Freecylce-- you get something for free, you are grateful for what you got, so you give something you don't need away for free, you get happy tingly feelings once you give it away, so you keeping giving more things away, until there comes a time when you need something again, then you get it for free, you are grateful... and the cycle starts all over again. I really think that Freecycling is a little bit like how living in a Zion like community will be like, when people can give freely of what they have to others without thinking about material gain.

Anyway, I LOVE Freecycling and hope that the idea catches on, because I think it does a wonderful job of building a sense of local community, cooperation, and service. In fact, I think the idea is so important that I just started a little mini Freecylce group in our Releif Society. We have a paper that goes around every week with things people need or things they want to get rid of. So far it has been working great.

If you haven't Freecylced yet-- YOU SHOULD! Everyone could use something for free, and everyone has something to give.

WE ARE HAVING A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I guess I didn't jinx myself when I bought this a few months ago



Because it looks like it will be coming in handy!!!!!!!!
We had the ultrasound today and found out that this little person is a SHE!
We are SO SUPER excited.
I hated to admit it but secretly, deep down inside I was hoping it was a girl-- and she is!
Everything else on the ultrasound looked good too-- she has a good heart, two arms and two legs, a bladder, some kidneys and all parts of her brain.
It really is such a miracle that in only 20 weeks my body has grown this perfect miniature human being-- without me telling it what to do!
How does it do that?
Women's bodies are incredible.
It was so sweet to take a peek at her today and to get a glimpse of what is coming in
20 more weeks!

Any Guesses?

We are having an ultrasound on Thursday and I am excited to take a peek at this little person inside of me! I know the purpose of ultrasounds are really to make sure the baby is developing correctly, BUT I am super excited to find out if this little person is a HE person or a SHE person. What is your guess?

Let me give you some facts that might sway your decision:

• Jon thinks it is a girl
• I have absolutely NO idea. I was certain that Asher was a girl, and obviously I was wrong on that one, so I have lost a bit of my baby gender guessing confidence :) But I will be thrilled either way. It would be fun to have two boys so close together, and I've always thought I'd have two boys first, but it would be wonderful to have a little girl. Part of me thinks it is a boy.
  
• I've been WAY more sick with this one, which some people say that if you are sick with one and not sick with the other then they must be different genders. Different hormones flowing through you or something like that.
• I've been craving meat, oranges, and chocolate. This is significant because I once heard an old wives tale that said if you crave meat you are having a boy, but if you crave citrus or sweets you are having a girl. I've done an unofficial poll over the last few years and this rule seems to be true about 90% of the time. I craved turkey sandwiches and broccoli with Asher, but this time I crave everything--- so I am baffled!
• Also our neighborhood is jinxed. All the families who have children under the age of 10 either have ALL girls or ALL boys. There is one family with 4 boys, another with 4 girls, one with 3 boys, one with 3 girls (and who just found out she is going to have another girl in August) and another family with 2 girls and who are going to have another baby any day now-- but they aren't finding out till it is born-- so maybe they will break the jinx. So we might be fated to have all boys while we live in this neighborhood!
  

So there are some clues to help you make your guess-- check back in on Thursday to find out if you guessed right! Or if we really love you, like you are family or something, you will probably get a call first :)

Ban the Breast Pump?

My beautiful friend Amy sent me this article and I've been stewing over it for the past few days. Surprising I found myself a little torn about what the author said. On one hand, part of me screamed "AGGG! How can you attack breastfeeding!!! What are you thinking-- you can't ban breast pumps!" and then other side of me realized that she did have a bit of a point. First of all, I don't agree with her that the US has taken "breast is best" too far, in fact I don't think we have taken it far enough. There are still a lot of women who don't realize the benefits of breastfeeding and who don't see it is a normal, natural thing for a woman to do. And there a lots of women who don't breastfeed or who don't continue breastfeeding because they don't have the right support or help. Yet, I do think that the author had a point in saying that women who choose to use formula don't need to be given guilt trips or made to feel like bad mothers. Women have a right to do what is best for them and for their babies, without being judged or scolded for it. I don't like it when people judge or scold me for my choice to have a home birth, and I think a woman has a right to make whatever decisions she feels is right without having to defend it.

Yet with that said, I think that the real issue behind this whole "ban the breast pump" notion is that we don't have a culture that honors or supports mothers. In most other developed countries it is required by law that women get at least 6 moths PAID maternity leave and most countries also have a law that fathers can take the same amount of time off from work (unpaid) without jeopardizing their position. I believe Sweden even gives working women a WHOLE year PAID maternity leave. Compare this to the US which only mandates that women receive 3 months UNPAID maternity leave. Also, most of the other developed countries provide free childcare for working parents and some even have programs that encourage mothers to take their children to work with them.

Just think about how these changes would affect women's experience of breastfeeding-- not to mention their attitudes towards motherhood. I don't think that it is breast pumps that are the culprits, but it is the fact that the US does very little to support or encourage women who chose to become mothers. It is really sad that mothers in the US have so few rights, and I really think it is time that women demanded them. Instead of complaining about how miserable it is to pump breastmilk at work, I think that this author would have spent her time better addressing the real underlying problem-- that women need to be supported by their employers, by their communities and by their government in their decision to have children and continue working-- especially when they have to work out of economic necessity.

I find it SO ironic that 50 years ago it was the rich women who fed their children formula and the poor ones who breastfed. Today it is just the opposite, it is the rich women who breastfeed their children and the poor who feed their children formula. This is mainly because the poor women have no choice but to return to work or their families starve, and often times have jobs in which it would COMPLETELY unpractical to pump at work. Can you imagine having to pump your breastmilk if you worked at Burger King?! I worked for WIC (the Government food program for Women, Infants and Children) for 2 years and in that time I realized that there are some children who would literally starve if it wasn't for the government provided formula, either because their mothers have to return to work or because their mothers don't have enough support to breastfeed. Yet it kind of disturbs me that the WIC program distributes almost half of the infant formula consumed in the United States-- making the US government the main purchaser of formula in country. I just can't help but wonder-- why we don't take all that money going towards formula and channel it towards providing mothers with government polices that would support them and give them more time with their children? We are already spending the money, we might as well use it towards doing what is best for mothers and for children. In my opinion it is every woman's right to have the opportunity, and support she needs, to breastfeed. If she chooses not to then-- that is her decision, but I think that at least women have the right to be educated about their bodies and to be given a real choice in how they feed their children.

Thank You Elder Oaks

Every six months the LDS church has a General Conference during which the prophet, apostles and other church leaders address the members worldwide. It always amazes me that during every conference there always happens to be a talk that specifically addresses one of my worries, questions or concerns. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised though, because the messages come from God and He knows exactly what I am struggling with. This conference I really appreciated Elder Dallin H. Oaks talk on service, specifically these two paragraphs in which he mentioned the sacrifice mothers and fathers make in order to have children. He said,

A familiar example of losing ourselves in the service of others—this one not unique to Latter-day Saints—is the sacrifice parents make for their children. Mothers suffer pain and loss of personal priorities and comforts to bear and rear each child. Fathers adjust their lives and priorities to support a family. The gap between those who are and those who are not willing to do this is widening in today’s world. One of our family members recently overheard a young couple on an airline flight explaining that they chose to have a dog instead of children. “Dogs are less trouble,” they declared. “Dogs don’t talk back, and we never have to ground them.”

We rejoice that so many Latter-day Saint couples are among that unselfish group who are willing to surrender their personal priorities and serve the Lord by bearing and rearing the children our Heavenly Father sends to their care. We also rejoice in those who care for disabled family members and aged parents. None of this service asks, what’s in it for me? All of it requires setting aside personal convenience for unselfish service. All of it stands in contrast to the fame, fortune, and other immediate gratification that are the worldly ways of so many in our day.

I feet like this little tidbit of truth was for me. It was such a beautiful reminder to me that what I am doing as a mother IS a sacrifice and that God realizes that it is a sacrifice and that He is blessing me for it. I realize that the reason I am are here on this earth is not to gratify my own desires but to build up the kingdom of God on the earth-- I really have no other purpose, everything else is just distraction. I know that my job as a mother is essential to the building of God's kingdom on the earth and that there is no one else in the whole world who can do my job. This has been a comforting thought to me as I've changed poopy diapers, vacuumed the carpet 30 times a day because someone likes to dump food all over it, and have been snuggling a sick boy for the past few days. I realize that even though the world may not recognize what I am doing, God does and He knows that it is my personal sacrifice and contribution to His kingdom. So thank you Elder Oaks, I needed your talk.

Wednesday's Woman

Shunamite Woman

"What is to Be Done for Thee" By Elspeth Young

2 Kings 4: 8-37; 8:1-6

Published! At last

My essay "Abraham's Tent" just came out in the BYU Studies Journal this month! So now I am officially a PUBLISHED AUTHOR... wow. It is kind of an empowering feeling. Especially after all the time and heartache I put into it.

For those of you who don't remember-- this is the essay that won 2nd place in the BYU Studies Personal Essay Contest last year. I wrote a little about what the essay means to me here. As I went back and read the essay just a little while ago it brought back all the struggles I had in writing it. For about a month this essay completely consumed my life. I felt driven to give voice to what was burning in my heart. The problem was that whenever I tired to write it down it always seemed inadequate. I really came to understand why Nephi (and other prophets) ask us to forgive them for the weakness of their writing. There are just some things so spiritual and near to our hearts that words will never be able to do them justice. About a week before it was due I still hadn't gotten it all pulled together, and I knew I had to. I decided that I was going to start a fast and wouldn't end it till I had finished the essay, or at least had something I was proud of. It took me almost two days but it got finished, and I really felt that I had captured a bit of what was in my soul.

I initially wrote the essay for the Elie Wiesel Essay Contest on Ethics-- it made it to the top 60 (which I don't mean to brag-- but I will-- is REALLY fantastic because they receive several thousand entries) but it didn't win. I'll be honest, I was a tad bit devastated. I thought for sure that after all I had gone through to write it God must have intended it to change the world or at least win a few thousand dollars:) After the contest was over I didn't really know what to do with the essay, all I knew is that I REALLY wanted it to be published. Then my wonderful Aunt suggested I submit it to the BYU Journal; I did, and the rest is history. What a great feeling it is to see a bit of my soul out there in print, for other people to read and think about. They put my email address at the end of the article and I really, really hope that I get some responses back about it!

My high school journalism teacher had a quote on his wall that said "All writing is an act of ego" and after seeing my name in print I think I have to agree. It makes me want to write for publication more and more-- and you know I think I will. I just have to figure out what to do next! Anyway, for those of you who are interested in getting a copy of it (mostly this is for my family) you can buy a copy of it here. It is in the January edition-- even though it came out in March... go figure. Also I have a link to a google document of it which you can access here, but you have to get my permission first before you can view it.

Just Practicing

This is what I found when I went down to change the laundry over.

One of my chicks (the one we call Checker) had flown/ hopped to the top of the feeder and was roosting on top of it. I was so surprised and was very glad that Jon had insisted on making a cover for our brooder box. I guess that she was just practicing her roosting-- chickens anciently use to roost in trees and it must be in her blood somewhere. My other guess is that she was escaping from the other chicks, who for some reason have singled her out to pick on. Maybe she is just a bit smaller or not as aggressive, but for some reason they all tend to gang up on her. When I found her all the other chicks were staring up at her in amazement and curiosity. I better make sure we keep the lid on the box or I might have chicks all over the place!