Let Me Introdcue You To...

Miss Edith Rose
(we are going to call her by her middle name-- Rose)

born at home on

Saturday, August 29th

at 7:45 am

after a super fast labor
(only 3 hours from start to finish-- yes it was intense, but more on that later)

8 lbs 8 oz
21 inches

Perfect
in
every way




















Oh, and note about my previous post--
I wrote it the night before (the 28th) and had it scheduled to post the next afternoon.
I had NO idea that I would be going into labor the next morning!
So just in case you were wondering
I didn't actually write a blog post 3 hours after my baby was born :)

The Ninth Month

Being a duplex
I have been happy, my dear,
To loan you half the house
Rent-free and furnished
As best I could.

You have been a good
Tenant, all in all
Quiet, yet comfortably there
Tapping friendly on the wall.

But I hear
You have outgrown the place
And are packing up to move.
Well, I will miss
The sweet proximity.
But we will keep in touch.
There are bonds, my dear,
That reach beyond a block
Or a mile or a hemisphere
Born of much love and labor.

I approve the move
And gladly turn from landlady
To neighbor.

-- Carol Lynn Pearson

A Few Red Things

Jon and I went on a painting spree this last weekend and got a little crazy with the red paint. Our once ugly yellowish door is now RED

Our rusty old mail box (that use to look like the pole-- which will get painted WHITE soon) is now RED

Our new chicken coop/ workshop that Jon has been working on all summer is now a lovely shade of barn RED

and who knows maybe Baby Bird will carry on the trend and decide to be born with RED hair. It runs in the family. My great grandmother had red hair, but my grandmother didn't, my mother has red hair, but none of her daughters do, so maybe the RED hair just skips a generation. I'll let you know in about a week-- or maybe two... hopefully just one ;)

Generations Within

This is part of what Liz, my cousin who gave the Mother Shower for me, wrote in her letter to me for the mother shower-- I hope she doesn't mind me sharing it!

"Did you know that you lived in your grandmother? The ovum in your mother's body, which ultimately became you, was formed and waiting inside your mother as she grew in her mother's womb. And Baby Bird's eggs, which may someday become her own children, lie in wait inside her, inside you, at this very moment. You carry generations within you! No other time in life is this phenomenon recreated, and it is such a powerful facet of the mother-daughter relationship. Just as your mother and grandmother before you, you have formed new links in an unbroken chain, a legacy of the powerful forces of nature and womanhood, creating, sustenance, protection, guidance and a bond of love too strong to sever."

I've been thinking about what Liz wrote for the last week and just can't quite seem to get over how beautiful and amazing the whole idea of carrying generations within me is. What a humbling thought to think that at this very moment I am not only carrying within me my daughter, but also the "blueprint" for my granddaughter and all the other women that will spring from her. I am carrying a little part of eternity inside of me. Can I be honest and say that the thought blows my mind! As hard as I try I can't quite get my mind wrapped around what an incredible miracle life is and how gracious God is to let us be a part of it.

Women are truly amazing and it breaks my heart to think that there are places in the world where little girls are unwanted and are aborted or killed just because they are girls. One of my college roommates just recently returned home from living in China for a year with her husband and two year old daughter. While they were there she became pregnant and when she and her husband went to get an ultrasound done they had to get special permission from a doctor for the nurses to be able to tell them the sex of the baby. This is because in China it is illegal for care providers to tell a couple the sex of the baby because too many people will abort the baby if they find out it is a girl. For some families the birth of a little girl isn't something to be celebrated or excited about because girls aren't seen as valuable assets. This is because a girl won't contribute financially to the family like a boy will or because, in a culture where only one child is allowed, some people would just rather have a boy than a girl. I'm not making a critique of Chinese culture-- because in all honesty I wonder if Americans were able to choose between having only a son or a daughter which one most people would choose-- but I am lamenting the fact that in many places in the world women, and their divine abilities to bring physical life, are not appreciated or respected.

I can't help but feel that if we, as a world, really understood the miracle and value of life that our attitude and treatment of women would be incredibly different. If our world really valued life above all else-- above land, above riches, above power, above self-- there would never be a woman who was aborted, killed, unwanted, or abused. Each person would be valued not only for who they are individually but also for the generations, yet unborn, that each human being (female and male) carries within them. In such a world marriage would be seen as being THE most important individual and societal goal because it would ensure that those future generations would be protected, wanted, and loved. And a woman's position within one of those marriages would be one of great respect and honor because of her divine role as a nurturer and co-creator of physical life.

I know that I personally can not change the entire world, but it gives me hope that as a mother I will be able to teach both my children to understand the supreme value of life and respect their roles as stewards of that life. I want them to understand that they are so much more than just "themselves" because within their bodies lie the seeds of future generations. It is really my hope that through our children Jon and I can start a legacy of love, peace, respect, and righteousness that will be carried on through the posterity that even now is growing beneath my heart.

Basketball Madness... nature or nurture?

So I've mentioned this before, but my little boy is OBSESSED with basketball... completely. I would guess that he says the word "basketball" at least 30 times a day and that a good portion of his day in occupied in finding, throwing, kicking, shooting, and carrying some sort of ball. Just a few weeks ago we made the HUGE mistake of showing him basketball videos on the computer. Now whenever anyone gets on the computer he throws a royal tantrum until you go to YouTube and turn on a basketball video. I'm sure if we let him he could watch basketball for hours. Crazy kid.

I thought that when he first started getting interested in balls, about 6-7 months old, that it was just a developmental stage, but I've long since realized that this is one stage I don't think he is going to grow out of anytime soon. In fact, I have the eerie suspicion that in a few years I am going to be spending a lot of time at ball games... which I don't mind too much as long as he doesn't take to liking football... not my favorite.

As I've watched my little boy develop such a love and interest in basketball I've found myself going back to the age old question of "Is it nature or is it nurture?" Is my little boy's obsession with basketball a result of how he has been socialized or is there something innate within him that drives his interest. Perhaps it is because I spent too much time studying gender behaviors in college, but I am really concerned about how I socialize my little boy. In fact, when he was little I was hesitant to put him in baby clothes that said things like "Mommy's little champ" or "#1 all-star" because I didn't want him to feel that just because he was a boy he had to like sports. It is really important to me for him to feel that he has the freedom to be whatever type of boy and man he wants to be. I don't want his perspective of what it means to be a man to be constructed by pop culture or socialized gender expectations. I'd rather that his perspective of manhood be shaped by an innate understanding that he is a child of God and that he has a divine mission to fulfill in this life, one that has nothing to do with how good he is at playing sports.

So part of me has been a little afraid as I've watched my son become more and more ball crazy, that Jon and I have already socialized him to like sports and that subconsciously we are already trying to get him to fit into classic gender stereotypes. But then again, as his mother I've witnessed almost every moment this little boy's life and have seen first hand how his "boyish" personality has developed. And while it is true that he has learned many of his behaviors from watching his Dad and other boys, I know that there is something in my little boy's soul that LOVES and YEARNS for balls. All you have to do is spend 15 minutes with this little boy to know that his interest in balls isn't something anyone taught him... he is just in love with them. Just like some little girls (not all) have an innate love for their dolls and a strong mothering instinct, this little boy has a ball instinct. Yet, this doesn't mean that he doesn't also have a nurturing instinct; there are many times when I've walked in on him giving his babies (a stuffed frog and bird) goodnight kisses, tucking them into a blanket and singing them a song. Still, as much as I encourage these type of nurturing activities and displays it still seems like he prefers rough and tumble activities; and more often I find him throwing his babies or knocking them over rather than playing soft with them. Sigh...

Who knows, perhaps this basketball madness is just a phase and he will out grow it. Then again, maybe it isn't and he really has a talent for it. Only time will tell. In the meantime, I've decided that boys are just different than girls, and I'll just have to get use to that-- plain and simple.

Mother Shower

On Saturday my cousin Liz gave a "Mother Shower" for me and it was an absolutely beautiful experience. A mother shower is kind of a like a baby shower but the focus is on showering the mother-to-be with love and pampering as she embarks on a new stage of motherhood. Baby showers are focused on the material parts of having a baby, making sure she has enough clothes and burp rags, while a mother shower (sometimes called a "blessing way") is focused on the emotional and spiritual parts of birth, making sure the mother has enough encouragement, love and support to birth her baby with strength and wisdom. It is a time for a woman to be surrounded, cared for and pampered by the women in her life who love her and her baby.

This mother shower was a bit of an experiment because while Liz and I had heard about them, neither of us had ever been to one. We were a bit afraid that people would think it was a bit too "new age", "hippie-ish", or "touchy feely" but it didn't turn out that way at all. It turned out to be a beautiful opportunity for women to talk about how amazing and beautiful it is to be a woman, to talk about the noble calling of motherhood and to rejoice in the prospect of a new life coming to this earth. I personally felt so much pride and joy in being a woman after this shower and was infused with a new enthusiasm for the miracle of birth and the privilege of being a mother.

I thought I'd share what we did for my shower and how it worked out, because I'm sure that most of my readers haven't ever been to this type of shower. The wonderful thing about mother showers is that, unlike baby showers where you usually only get one for your first child (and maybe your second if it is the opposite gender) you can have one for ALL your pregnancies because the focus is on helping the mother be ready for a new phase in her life. There are lots of different ways to give a mother shower and you can adapt it anyway you like. For example, one of the ideas I really liked, but that we didn't do for my shower, is for all the guests to bring the mother-to-be a frozen meal that she could save till after the baby was born. Anyway, here is what we did for mine:

Introductions

Liz invited a few women, only my sisters, SIL, mother, MIL, and a few close friends (so don't feel bad if you didn't get invited :) so that it was a small, intimate circle. We started out by introducing ourselves by our female genealogy as far back as we knew it. For example, I introduced myself as "Heather, daughter of Corinne, granddaughter of Louise, great granddaughter of Florence Grace, and the great great granddaughter of Mary." (and then everyone else mentioned how they knew me). Then we wrapped a piece of ribbon around our wrist and passed it to the next person till all the women in the circle were connected. The purpose of introducing ourselves this way was to remind us that we all have the common thread of womanhood to bind us together, and that each of us have women on the other side of the veil who love us and who are watching over us. The birth of a new baby, especially a girl baby, promises that that circle will continue and that life will go forward. Everyone is suppose to wear the ribbon till after the birth of the baby, but I'm not going to hold them to it because it still might be awhile :)

Letters and Beads

After the introductions, which ended up taking a little longer than I expected because of the beautiful insights people had to share, everyone got out a letter and bead Liz had asked them to bring. Every one's letters were different, some had messages of love, some had thoughts on motherhood and womanhood, some had messages to the baby, some had encouragement for me and reasons why I will make a good mother, and ALL of them were BEAUTIFUL. They also gave me a bead or a charm to go along with their letter, which Liz is going to string together into a necklace that I can wear while I am in labor so that I will remember what was said and that I am loved and supported. After reading their letter and giving me the bead then lit a candle and put it in the center of the circle.

I can't explain what an amazing experience it was to be surrounded by so many women whom I love and respect and to hear their words of encouragement and love for me. As they went around the circle and shared their insights and thoughts I felt such a deep peace. I realized that this is what being a woman is all about-- about making connections, eternal and mortal-- about reaching out and loving and supporting one another. It was an experience I will cherish always.

Presents and Refreshments

After the letters and the beads we ate refreshments and I opened some "traditional" baby shower presents. Which, as wonderful as the presents were, really lost a lot of their lustre and excitement after the spiritual presents I'd been given earlier. I felt like these women had already given me so much, in the form of love, praise, encouragement, wisdom and support, that I already had everything I needed for this baby. I realized that while material gifts are fun and helpful it is really the gifts of the spirit and the heart that sustain us through this life and help us become the people we want to become. A baby will still thrive without a fancy crib set or pretty clothes, but it won't thrive if it's mother isn't strong emotionally and spiritually. So as much as I appreciated the baby gifts I think I will be infinitely grateful for the other types of gifts that were shared with me that day.

Even so... the presents were fun... I won't lie.

After the shower was over a few of us were talking and expressed sorrow that there are so few times in a person's life when they get an experience like I had-- to have people you love tell you (to your face) how much you are loved and supported. Too often we don't say those sort of things about people until their funerals, and then it is too late for it to impact their lives. We decided that EVERY woman, even if she isn't a mother, deserves to have a mother shower (maybe you could just call it a "woman shower") and have the opportunity to be told how much she is loved, respected, admired and supported by the women she is closest to in this world. I hope that in the future it becomes more common for women get showers like the one I had, because we really don't have a lot in our culture that helps prepare a woman spiritually, emotionally and mentally for the challenges of womanhood and motherhood.

Here are a few of the quotes that Liz hung on the wall during the shower. I left them up for a few days because they made me feel so peaceful and strong. They also helped remind me of how I want this little girl to come into the world and what type of mother I want to be to her.

Wednesday's Women

Puah and Shiphrah



Exodus 1: 15-22

These are two of my ALL TIME favorite women in the scriptures, but maybe that is because they are midwives. :)
Just about the most AWESOME midwives ever...
but don't worry I've already told Jon that Puah is
certainly NOT on our list of baby girl names.
Oh and maybe I'll have to try out one of these cool birth stools
( it is for squatting-- you don't sit on it-- it took me a while to figure it out too)



or maybe I'll just go for bricks under
my feet like the women in the Bible did :)

Soak it All Up and Store it for Later

Lately I've been feeling a great sense of loss. I feel like life is passing by so fast and that time with my little boy is slipping away quicker than I ever imagined it would. I can hardly believe how grown up he is and that soon he is going to be two years old. Not long ago I was reading through some of my past posts and I stumbled across this one that I wrote when Asher was 6 months old. In it I wrote down some of the things I didn't want to forget, and I am really glad that I did because I've already forgotten a lot of what I said I didn't want to forget! This forgetting makes me sad and it makes me wish that I could somehow remember EVERY day and EVERY minute I have with this precious little boy. I know that as he gets older I will have more and more wonderful moments with him, but it is hard to let these moments slip by and not mourn the fact that I will never be able to have them back again. In order to appease this feeling of immense loss I've found myself becoming a little obsessive with the video and film cameras, feeling like I have to document every thing we do and every where we go so that I won't forget about it.

Yet the other day, after trying unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to get a good picture of him checking out the pigs at the County Fair, I realized that in my attempt to make sure I would REMEMBER the moment, I was MISSING the moment. I realized that I wasn't taking the time to enjoy my son or to help him discover something new. So I put my camera in my bag and vowed that for the rest of the evening I would BE with my son, DISCOVER with my son, and ENJOY the moment with my son and you know what... I think that those are the things I am going to remember. Even without my fifteen horrible pictures of him trying to pet a pig, I think that my soul will always remember what it felt like to laugh as I watched him run up and down the stalls squealing and "talking" with the pigs.

This is the best picture I was able to get-- sad huh? Maybe I just need a fancier camera ;)

I've realized that while pictures and videos are wonderful and do a lot to help remind us of certain times, they are poor substitutes for the real memories. Real memories come complete with with emotions, feelings, squeals, kisses, hugs and laughter and are only made when we take time to stop and enjoy the moment. The things that we will really remember, the things that will impress themselves deep upon our souls and our minds are the things that we slow down and take time to soak up into our souls. In fact, I think our souls are much like sponges-- infinite, eternal sponges with no end to how much they can hold. It is just up to us to decide what it is we immerse ourselves in and what it is we choose to soak up into our souls.

I also believe that after we die we will have a perfect recollection of our life here on this earth, including all our thoughts, memories, emotions, and knowledge that we gained while on this earth. It gives me great comfort to know that even though a moment may be lost from my immediate recollection that someday I will have a PERFECT recollection of every moment I spend with my son. I will be able to remember exactly what it feels like to wake up in the morning and have his smiling little face pressed up against mine, I will be able to remember exactly how he roared (yes, roared) when he finally climbed to the top of the slide by himself, and I will remember exactly how much this little boy loves me and how much joy he brings into my life. It has all been soaked up and is stored in my soul... waiting for eternity.

Ratatouille

I am in a recipe sharing mood and wanted to share this recipe for ratatouille because when I made it on Monday for dinner it brought back good memories and made me happy. I realized that the last time I made this dish was about this time two years ago and I was about 3 or 4 months pregnant with Asher. I was just getting over the "sick phase" of pregnancy and wanted to make something special for dinner (the top picture is the actual dinner I made, don't ask me why I took a picture of it!). The best thing about ratatouille is that about this time of year, give or take a few weeks depending on where you live, ALL the ingredients can come fresh out of your garden-- tomatoes, green peppers, onions, zucchini, eggplant and basil. It is always fun to make things from what you've grown in your garden, and I really don't think there is really anything more satisfying than eating a dish made completely (or almost completely) out of things that you have grown yourself. I should admit that this time I bought the tomatoes and the green peppers because mine are still too small. But even if you buy all the ingredients (because really how many people usually grow eggplant-- unless you are like me and wanted eggplant so you can make ratatouille) it is still a wonderful and incredibly easy dish. Besides I heard an old wives tale once that said eggplant is suppose to help induce labor... hmmm... maybe I'll have to make it again soon :)

Pregnancy Pondering

I am really starting to get excited for this little baby. The midwife gave us our birth kit at our 36 week appointment on Monday and it got me SO excited. For those not familiar with home birth a "birth kit" is a tote full of some of the supplies that we will need during labor like: the birth pool, waterproof liners, towels, maxi pads, chucks pads (is that how you spell it?), a pump to blow up the pool, the hose to fill up the pool, baby care supplies, an umbilical cord clamp and other various first aid supplies. The midwife brings LOTS more supplies when she comes, including things like oxygen, pitocin (only for hemorrhaging) and suturing supplies, but the birth kit has all the basic things. It was exciting to take it home because now I know that I have everything I need to give birth ready and waiting in the closet. Well, really all I need is myself, something to cut the cord and a blanket to wrap her in, but it is nice to have things to make it more comfortable and not so messy ;)

As excited as I am getting I still don't want this little girl to come yet, she is only 36 weeks and I know that every day she stays in the womb the stronger, healthier and smarter she will be. Besides a part of me is REALLY going to miss feeling her on the inside of me. While there are things I don't enjoy about being pregnant (ie. sneezing and coughing) I really love the sensation of having another person move and shift inside of me. There isn't anything else like it in the world and it is such an amazing feeling to know that there is a complete human life, that I created, moving and living inside of me. It leaves me awestruck-- and sometimes a little weirded out to tell you the truth :) I've found that even when I'm not pregnant I can't help but stare at pregnant women (discreetly...) and marvel at the knowledge that she is feeling precious little kicks, rotations, pushes and hiccups and that she has a complete little person inside of her. What an incredible miracle. So even thought I will openly admit that I am starting to get VERY hot, VERY uncomfortable and YEARN to have a non-pregnant body I will really miss not being able to feel her move inside of me. My goal for the next month is to to allow myself to really enjoy those sensations and be content to let this little girl wiggle around inside of me for a bit longer.

And just because this post needs a picture... here is the sweetest picture of Asher taken at the swimming pool this week. He is quite the daring swimmer... and yes... I did wear a swimming suit being 8 months pregnant. In fact, I've decided that 8 months pregnant is the best time to wear a swimming suit because you don't have to worry about "sucking it all in", it is kind of nice.

Homemade Yogurt

I hope by now you have all become masters at the art of homemade granola and are ready to move on to the slightly more advanced skill of homemade yogurt making. While you can't really mess up granola, yogurt on the other hand has been a bit harder for Jon and I to master. You really have to make sure the temperatures are right and that you don't bump it or bother it while it is setting up. We used to make it on the stove and usually only about half of our attempts would set up. The others would end up as what is affectionately called "yogurt milk" at our house. It is actually still pretty good to eat on your granola-- it is just sugary flavored milk. And there is one infamous batch of yogurt which will be forever remembered as the "jello yogurt"... Jon tried putting Jello in instead of a packet of Gelatin-- it doesn't work very well just so you know. Anyway, I just discovered how to make yogurt in the crockpot and while it takes more time (it isn't labor intensive, you just have to let it sit longer) the yogurt has come out PERFECT every time and you don't have to add gelatin (which makes it cheaper). This yogurt is usually a little runnier than the type you get in the store --which is perfect for pouring over granola-- but if you want it to be more like the store types you can add gelatin.

Here is the link to the crockpot yogurt recipe I use. I usually add a cup of sugar and a teaspoon of vanilla because I don't like plain yogurt. If you want to have fruity yogurt you just put the fruit on the bottom of the container that you store the yogurt in and then stir it up before you eat it. You can also mix jam or jelly into your yogurt to flavor it and that tastes really good. I did that every morning at breakfast when we were in Jordan and the Arabs thought I was really crazy, not to mention that I poured it over my corn flakes... I guess that isn't how you are suppose to eat Arabic yogurt :)

Also, here is a link to how to make it on the stove and in the oven, and here is how to make it in the microwave (I haven't tried that one yet, but our friend does it and he says it turns out fairly good). But these ways are a bit harder than the crockpot because you really have to keep track of the temperatures.

Making your own yogurt is SIGNIFICANTLY cheaper than buying it. I use about 3/4th of a gallon of milk (cost: abt $1.50) and the crockpot recipe fills 3 of the big 32 oz yogurt containers. I just save the containers from when I buy yogurt and then reuse them for my homemade yogurt. And since it doesn't cost as much you won't feel guilty eating this every morning for breakfast!

Ooh, yummy. Maybe I'll go have some right now.