Pregnancy Pondering

I am really starting to get excited for this little baby. The midwife gave us our birth kit at our 36 week appointment on Monday and it got me SO excited. For those not familiar with home birth a "birth kit" is a tote full of some of the supplies that we will need during labor like: the birth pool, waterproof liners, towels, maxi pads, chucks pads (is that how you spell it?), a pump to blow up the pool, the hose to fill up the pool, baby care supplies, an umbilical cord clamp and other various first aid supplies. The midwife brings LOTS more supplies when she comes, including things like oxygen, pitocin (only for hemorrhaging) and suturing supplies, but the birth kit has all the basic things. It was exciting to take it home because now I know that I have everything I need to give birth ready and waiting in the closet. Well, really all I need is myself, something to cut the cord and a blanket to wrap her in, but it is nice to have things to make it more comfortable and not so messy ;)

As excited as I am getting I still don't want this little girl to come yet, she is only 36 weeks and I know that every day she stays in the womb the stronger, healthier and smarter she will be. Besides a part of me is REALLY going to miss feeling her on the inside of me. While there are things I don't enjoy about being pregnant (ie. sneezing and coughing) I really love the sensation of having another person move and shift inside of me. There isn't anything else like it in the world and it is such an amazing feeling to know that there is a complete human life, that I created, moving and living inside of me. It leaves me awestruck-- and sometimes a little weirded out to tell you the truth :) I've found that even when I'm not pregnant I can't help but stare at pregnant women (discreetly...) and marvel at the knowledge that she is feeling precious little kicks, rotations, pushes and hiccups and that she has a complete little person inside of her. What an incredible miracle. So even thought I will openly admit that I am starting to get VERY hot, VERY uncomfortable and YEARN to have a non-pregnant body I will really miss not being able to feel her move inside of me. My goal for the next month is to to allow myself to really enjoy those sensations and be content to let this little girl wiggle around inside of me for a bit longer.

And just because this post needs a picture... here is the sweetest picture of Asher taken at the swimming pool this week. He is quite the daring swimmer... and yes... I did wear a swimming suit being 8 months pregnant. In fact, I've decided that 8 months pregnant is the best time to wear a swimming suit because you don't have to worry about "sucking it all in", it is kind of nice.

Homemade Yogurt

I hope by now you have all become masters at the art of homemade granola and are ready to move on to the slightly more advanced skill of homemade yogurt making. While you can't really mess up granola, yogurt on the other hand has been a bit harder for Jon and I to master. You really have to make sure the temperatures are right and that you don't bump it or bother it while it is setting up. We used to make it on the stove and usually only about half of our attempts would set up. The others would end up as what is affectionately called "yogurt milk" at our house. It is actually still pretty good to eat on your granola-- it is just sugary flavored milk. And there is one infamous batch of yogurt which will be forever remembered as the "jello yogurt"... Jon tried putting Jello in instead of a packet of Gelatin-- it doesn't work very well just so you know. Anyway, I just discovered how to make yogurt in the crockpot and while it takes more time (it isn't labor intensive, you just have to let it sit longer) the yogurt has come out PERFECT every time and you don't have to add gelatin (which makes it cheaper). This yogurt is usually a little runnier than the type you get in the store --which is perfect for pouring over granola-- but if you want it to be more like the store types you can add gelatin.

Here is the link to the crockpot yogurt recipe I use. I usually add a cup of sugar and a teaspoon of vanilla because I don't like plain yogurt. If you want to have fruity yogurt you just put the fruit on the bottom of the container that you store the yogurt in and then stir it up before you eat it. You can also mix jam or jelly into your yogurt to flavor it and that tastes really good. I did that every morning at breakfast when we were in Jordan and the Arabs thought I was really crazy, not to mention that I poured it over my corn flakes... I guess that isn't how you are suppose to eat Arabic yogurt :)

Also, here is a link to how to make it on the stove and in the oven, and here is how to make it in the microwave (I haven't tried that one yet, but our friend does it and he says it turns out fairly good). But these ways are a bit harder than the crockpot because you really have to keep track of the temperatures.

Making your own yogurt is SIGNIFICANTLY cheaper than buying it. I use about 3/4th of a gallon of milk (cost: abt $1.50) and the crockpot recipe fills 3 of the big 32 oz yogurt containers. I just save the containers from when I buy yogurt and then reuse them for my homemade yogurt. And since it doesn't cost as much you won't feel guilty eating this every morning for breakfast!

Ooh, yummy. Maybe I'll go have some right now.

Homemade Granola

I am a granola and yogurt addict. I'll admit it with glee. I love it, all of it. I think that it might just be my favorite thing to eat... with fresh raspberries on top... oh joy... oh rapture... But the only problem about granola and yogurt is that it is super expensive, especially when you are addicted and want to eat it for breakfast EVERY morning. The average box of granola at the store costs about $5 and the amount inside is only enough to last a good granola addict like myself about two days... at the max. Yogurt isn't much cheaper, costing about $3 for a 32 oz size (which in our house literally only lasts a day).

So, it wasn't long after Jon and I were married we realized that in order to afford my granola and yogurt addiction on a poor student's budget we would have to learn how to make it ourselves... and we have. We've never really used a recipe, we've just experimented. Over the years some of the experiments turned out fantastic while others went straight into the garbage can (well, in reality it never actually made it to the garbage because Jon will eat ANYTHING, literally... even totally burnt granola). Some of my favorite memories of our early marriage are of Jon and I making granola together in our teeny tiny yellow kitchen and arguing over who was really to blame for letting it burn. For the first year of our marriage I think we ate some form of granola and yogurt EVERY morning. Granola making is still something we LOVE to do together and I am happy to report that now we hardly ever argue over who burns it.

I thought I'd share my favorite recipe for granola. I have to admit that I never really measure anything I just put in what looks good and the batches turn out different every time. I've tried to make a guess at what I think I usually put in, but feel free to experiment... that is half the fun.

Heathon's Homemade Granola

In a BIG bowl or pot mix these dry ingredients together:

10 cups oats ( I like rolled oats better than quick oats-- they taste MUCH better and are healthier for you)

1 cup wheat germ ( you can also used oat germ or ground flax seed or anything else healthy and powdery)

1 cup whole wheat flour (you could really use any type of flour... you just need something powdery to help hold the granola together)

2 bags of coconut (one would probably be fine, I just really like coconut)

You can add anything else you like... corn flakes, rice crispies (sometimes I buy the little bags of rice puffs... Jon calls them "maggots"... and put those in), sunflower seeds, sesame seeds, cinnamon, almonds, peanuts, any other type of nut. One of Jon's and my favorites is apricot seeds (the seed inside the pit of an apricot) they taste like almonds but are fruity. They are REALLY good in granola, but we only get them a few times a year.

You can also add things like raisins and dried fruit but I like to wait till after I've baked the granola to add the raisins because sometimes they get burned or really dried out when you bake them. But go ahead and experiment and you can decide how you like it.

In a separate bowl mix these wet ingredients together:

2 cups of water

1 cup brown sugar ( you can also use honey, maple syrup, or another type of sweetener... and if you want it sweeter just add more-- I don't like it too sweet)

2 tsp vanilla

or

1 tsp maple extract

or

1 tsp cloves, 1 Tbsp cinnamon and 1/2 tsp lemon juice

depending on how you want it to taste.

Mix them together till the brown sugar dissolves and then gradually pour it over the dry ingredients. Make sure you mix it really well before you add more of the water so that your clumps don't get too big. I like to have the granola really loose with only a few small clumps so I try not to let it get too wet (it also takes longer too cook if it is really wet). If it starts to get too wet and your clumps are really big you can add more oats and flour to help loosen it up.

Spoon on to ungreased cookie sheets and spread it out so it is not too thick. Cook for 30 min at 300 degrees. All ovens are different so you might have to play around with the time and temperature. It turns out best if you cook it at a low temperature for a long time rather than a high temperature for a short time. If you start to smell the granola then you know that it almost done. The granola will still be a little "wet" when you take it out of the oven but when it dries it will harden up. If it doesn't harden up after sitting on the counter for about 20 min stick it back in for a little while. Don't forget to stir it and break it up with a spatula RIGHT when it comes out of the oven or else it will dry into one big granola bar.

Speaking of granola bars, if you want to make granola bars just add more water to the recipe and then pack the wet granola into a cake pan. If you make them thicker they will be chewy and if you pack it thinner then they will be crunchy. They need to be cooked for about twice as long as normal granola (abt an hour at 300 degrees). We like to add peanut butter and chocolate chips to our granola bars.

Granola is remarkably easy and you can't really mess it up unless you burn it. I haven't ever calculated how much it costs to make but I am sure that it is MUCH cheaper than buying it. This recipe makes about 20 cups or more of granola, which is easily the equivalent of three or four of the small boxes you get at the store. Not to mention that almost all the types of granola you buy at the store (even the type you can get in bulk at the health food store) are packed with sugar. When you make your own you can control how sugary it is and put healthy things like flax seed into it.

I make a batch of granola about once a week and it usually lasts Jon, Asher and I the whole week. It is best when eaten with homemade yogurt, but since this post is already really long I'll post the recipe for homemade yogurt in another post (maybe tomorrow?).

Sewing Camp and a Burst of Energy

For the last few months this has been the extent of my creative powers.

I've thought of about a gazillon projects I could (and should) do, but haven't had the time or the energy to do them.

But last week my littlest sister Brittney came to stay with me for the week while Jon went with his scouts on a backpacking trip. We decided that we would have "sewing camp" so that Brittney could learn to sew.

It was a lot of fun and Brittney did a really good job. She made a pair of PJ pants, a cute peasant-style PJ shirt and a tailored pair of slacks (which pushed MY sewing abilities to the max because we had to alter them and change them ALOT to get them to fit and look cute) and we both learned a lot.

Asher LOVED having his aunt stay with us and the first thing he wanted to know every morning was where "Ni Ni" (his name for Brittney) was. And I REALLY appreciated her help because I don't know how I would have survived a week by myself with Asher and a broken foot-- which by the way the doctor says is now completely healed! Yeah!

After Brittney left I was still bitten by the "sewing bug" and decided to get some of the sewing projects done that I've been wanting to do-- and if I do say so myself, they turned out pretty good!

My first project was to make a bumper and sheet for Baby Bird's cradle. This is the cradle that Jon and all his siblings slept in when they were babies and which Asher slept in.

I made bumpers for Asher but they are blue and I wanted something more girly for Baby Bird. I didn't actually make the bumpers, they are hand me downs from my cousin, but I cut it down to the right size and sewed the lace and ties on. Now I just can't wait till there is a little baby laying in it!

Since I was still on a sewing kick I made a curtain for our bedroom window, it isn't anything really fancy but it was my first time making curtains and I am kind of proud of it. If I get ambitious I might make one for the other window in our rooms so that it is a little more balanced.

I think this splurge of crafting energy probably counts as an official "nesting instinct" because it has also been accompanied by an OVERWHELMING need to get my house clean-- which is happening little by little. It is kind of nice to have a little burst of energy--but who knows how long it will last :) I am starting to feel like I am ready for her to come now. I have a place for her to sleep AND don't have to wear the walking cast any more. So all my nightmares about having to be in labor with a broken foot are behind me now and I am really starting looking forward to meeting the little person who keeps kicking my bladder.

Chick Update

The six little chicks I got a few weeks back are currently going through their awkward adolescent stage. They really look weird. The Polish ones look especially strange with their big tufts of black and white feathers on top of their heads. I've taken to calling them Beethoven and Mozart because of their crazy hair dos. I think they are just going to get weirder looking as they grow up-- FUN!

We still don't know if any of them are roosters (we will in a few months when some of them start to crow) but I think I am making a pretty safe guess that one of the Polish is a rooster because he is FEISTY. He's always the first one out of the coop and patrols it like a drill sergeant. I just hope the other one is a hen so we can have babies next spring :)

The Silkies are starting to get their fluff feathers and they look kind of awkward. It is strange because the other chicks went from fluff to feathers while the Silkies have gone from fluff, to feathers and now are going back to fluff. I really LOVE the white one, I think she (he?) is beautiful.

I thought we were going to have two white ones, one black and one gray, but one of the chicks that was white when we got it has now turned black. So it looks like I have one white, two black and one gray.

I think they still have some more awkward weeks ahead of them ( I can't wait to see what happens when the Silkies start getting their head feathers!) but I'm hoping they turn out to be pretty when they get out of puberty-- most of us do :)

Movie Recommendations

I'm not much of a movie buff. Okay that is really an understatement. Lets just put it this way. Last week Jon and I saw "Up" in the theater (we both really loved it by the way) and we realized that the last time we had gone to go see a movie together at a theater was when "Ratatouille" came out. Sad huh. The truth is that we both find most movies too trashy, violent or pointless to spend money on or to use up precious brain cells watching. But because I was home bound for a few weeks when I had crutches, Asher and I ended up watching a lot of movies and I realized that I need some new recommendations for movies that are uplifting, clean and downright fantastic. So to help get your movie recommendation juices flowing I thought I'd recommend a few that I really love-- then you can give me your recommendations at the end.

1st Recommendation:

I discovered this series last year and I can't figure out why they don't have more of "cult following" because they are FANTASTIC. There are several videos in the series and they follow a a family who pioneers out west through several generations of women and the challenges they face and over come. The family isn't Mormon but they very well could have been because their story is quite similar to what lots of Mormon pioneer families and women went through. I love the stories, the characters and the way that somehow they always take a horrible situation and overcome it by relying on the Lord. They are such uplifting movies (which is rare in this day and age) and entertaining enough that Jon will watch them with me. So if you need a good summer escape I'd HIGHLY recommend these.

Second Recommendation:

I just had to put a plug in for this series because I REALLY like it. I usually put a video in for Asher while I take a shower and most videos only keep his attention for 10 min at the most, but these Signing Time videos captivate the little boy. He will watch it intently and will interact and sign along with them. I've been so impressed by how engaging they are and how well they do at teaching sign language. I've only taught Asher 4 0r 5 signs on my own, but he picks up more words really fast by watching these. I find that sign language has helped our communication SO MUCH and that he throws less tantrums if he has a sign (or a word) to express what he wants, needs or feels. Anything that cuts down on tantrums gets a big gold star in my book- oh, and I also really like the songs. They are really well done and don't get too annoying when you are listening to them for the 4th time that day (yes it was a lazy mom day--please tell me you have them too :)

Hope you enjoy them!

Okay so now it is your turn-- what other good, uplifting, helpful, wonderful or downright fantastic movies are there that you'd recommend?

33 Weeks... already!?

I just looked over at the little floating baby counter on my side bar (which, yes I realize is mildly creepy-- according to my brother:) and realized that it says I only have 48 DAYS left till baby bird makes her entrance into this world. Wow. This pregnancy has really flown by. Granted, for the last month I've been counting down the days till my next podiatrist appointment rather than my midwife appointment (sidenote: I have an appointment tomorrow to see if I can get out of the walking cast-- keep your fingers, toes, and anything else you can crossed for me!) I guess that is one good thing I can say for the broken foot-- that it has helped take my mind off of being pregnant just enough that I haven't started to feel too impatient or anxious... yet. But I am starting to get to that "no matter what I wear or do I feel like a whale and I can't bend over" stage of pregnancy and I swear that my belly can't get any bigger-- but I know that it will. All in all this has been a wonderful pregnancy (despite the broken foot and the bad allergies) and I am starting to get excited about bringing a new life to this world.

When I first got pregnant I was worried that Asher wouldn't have any idea what was going on and that he wouldn't be able to bond with the baby before she was born. But it has been so much fun to see how quickly and how soon he caught onto the idea that there was a baby in Mommy's tummy. For the last 4-5 months he has been coming over to pat my belly and give "baybee boord" a kiss. Actually it has gotten a bit problematic because sometimes he want to lift up my shirt and "see" her at inopportune moments... like when company is over. But it has really been sweet to see how excited he is about his new sister. I was talking to him before bed the other night and I mentioned that he was going to be a big brother soon and have a little sister and his head POPPED up from where it had been dozing on my chest and he bent down and gave my belly a kiss and a pat that was "sauuuuf" (we've been working on being "soft" instead of whacking everything... for the baby's sake). Still, every once in awhile I get a little concerned though that he still might not quite understand what is going on. A few days ago he lifted up HIS shirt, patted HIS tummy, and told me " baybee boord." Um... not quite.. but I think that most the time he gets the general idea :)

This is short and sweet. I was trying to get him to say "baybee boord" but instead he did the sign for it. I didn't even know he knew the sign that well. Smart kid.

I don't mean to complain...

but having bad allergies when you are pregnant stinks

because it makes you sneeze (and cough)

a lot

If you've ever been pregnant you probably know why sneezing and coughing are DISASTROUS and can probably sympathize with my plight. If you haven't been pregnant before let me just remind you that pregnancy involves another human being (baby bird is probably around 3-5 lbs by now) sitting directly above your bladder. And my bladder doesn't seem to mind compressing itself flat and emptying its contents at the slightest hint of extra pressure. Yep, sad but true.

So while I am can manage the sinus headache, the sore throat, and the runny faucet of a nose I just hope that the sneezing and the coughing stop soon because it gets a tad bit discouraging. Ugg. Thanks for letting me whine (again).

Alphabet Summer

I saw this idea for an "Alphabet Summer" (check it out here and here) on this woman's blog and I thought that it was such a wonderful idea that I would pass it on.  I really love how it kind of "forces" you to come up with a little activity to do each day, big or small. I  think that this would be a good thing for me because sometimes I find myself scraping the bottom of the barrel for ways to keep Asher occupied and entertained. I think that I am going to start planning some alphabet activities for him a few times a week-- it will give me something to look forward to, a reason to invite other friends with kids over, a fun way for Asher to learn the alphabet, and a way to practice teaching my almost 2 year old-- which believe it or not I've found to be kind of a challenge. For example, last night during our family night Asher was looking at a picture of Jesus and was REALLY concerned about the "owwees" that He had in his hands and his feet-- needless to say it stretched ALL my teaching capabilities to try to explain the atonement to a 18 month old! So, I'll be glad to get all the teaching practice that I can get! 

Here is a list of ideas that I came up with for Asher and my "Alphabet Summer". I couldn't think of ideas for every letter so if you can think of any other good ideas (for any letter) I'd LOVE to hear them. I also thought that this and this website had some good ideas for keeping toddlers entertained-- in case anyone else struggles like I do (oh, and here are some more ideas). 

Ants and bugs-- find, them catch them, look at them

Bubbles

Croquet--Asher's dream game- it involves BALLS and HAMMERS

Dress up-- him, me, stuffed animals 

Explore- take a bucket outside and find things to collect

Forts and flashlights

G

Hide and go seek

Instruments

Jello jigglers with cookie cutters

Kite

L

Markers and crayons

Numbers

O

Paper bag puppets also play dough

Q

Ride the bus-- it is free where we live :)

Sister--practice being a big brother with his stuffed animals--dressing, feeding, holding

Tents-- set up in the house

U

V

Water

X

Y

Zoo

Craving Validation

I have a confession to make.

When I was pregnant with Asher I craved broccoli and turkey sandwiches, but this pregnancy all I want to eat is homemade french fries and chocolate.

Gasp... I know... SO not healthy. Sob.

But wait, there is hope.

On Tuesday night I went to a class on nutrition during pregnancy and the speaker prefaced her lecture by saying that most of the time pregnant women crave EXACTLY what their bodies need. She said that women should listen to their cravings and eat what sounds good because it probably has nutrients their body and their baby need.

Hmm.... really? French fries and chocolate? Do they meet any nutritional needs? I was skeptical... really skeptical... but kept listening.

She said was that there are five vital nutrients that pregnant women need-- salt, potassium, calcium, magnesium and iron. She mentioned that salt is one of the most important nutrients in the body but that to store adequate amounts of it our body also needs to have a good supply of potassium. Then she listed foods that are rich in potassium... fruits, vegetables, potatoes.

At this point I almost started to laugh and told her (it was a small class) that for the last few months that I had made french fries (with lots of season salt) for lunch almost every day. I guess it was just my bodies way of making sure I got my potassium WITH my salt. Crazy.

Then she went on to talk about calcium and magnesium and how a pregnant women needs a lot of calcium because she has to create a whole new bone structure for another human being. I've been worried about getting enough calcium because I am not taking pre-natal vitamins. Last pregnancy I got an AWFUL kidney stone that was caused by having too much calcium that my body couldn't use and the urologist told me the excess calcium probably came from my vitamins. So this time I've skipped the vitamins and have just been concentrating on making sure that I get all my vitamins, folic acid, and nutrients from my diet. But calcium is one I have been worried about because I want to make sure I get enough of it but that it is used and just doesn't get stored in the wrong places like it did last time. So when she mentioned that you need magnesium to help uptake calcium into the cells I was interested. She said the foods that were rich in magnesium were things like ... spinach, chard, chocolate!

Once again I laughed and told her that I'd been craving chocolate as well. Usually I want just a little piece around 4:00 PM, which she told me also happens to be the time when the body starts maximizing its calcium uptake. She said that it was really normal for pregnant women to crave magnesium rich food, but that the body knows that it will have an easier time getting most women to eat chocolate rather than steamed chard. Granted I've never had steamed chard, but I do know that it doesn't take much convincing to get me to eat chocolate. And know that I know that it is helping my magnesium uptake I won't feel too bad having a little piece when I crave it.

So, I feel validated. I guess my body really does know what it is needs and that I shouldn't feel like a blubber toad for wanting french fries and chocolate.. in moderation of course :)

But now I am curious... what types of things do other pregnant women crave and do they usually meet some hidden, inner nutritional need?

My Happy List

I went to the doctor on Friday and he gave me the BEST news--- that I can start putting weight on my foot as long as it doesn't hurt (if it does then I am suppose to use the crutches for a little while)! Yippee! This means that I once again have the use of my hands and that Asher's days of free reign and terror around our house are somewhat over. It has been the most liberating feeling to be able to carry my own breakfast dishes to the table or to vacuum the floor by myself... in fact, I don't think I've ever enjoyed vacuuming as much before. I am now VERY grateful for my feet and realize how VERY much they do for me. So if you haven't thanked your feet lately for holding your weight up and getting you around where you want to go, I suggest you look down there and thank them or they might just feel unwanted and decide to get broken on you and that is SO not fun. Trust me :)

In honor of my new found walking freedom, and as a way to distract me from other sad things in my life, I've decided to post some of the things that are making me happy today.

#1 Asher in Boots

My little boy is in love with his boots. He wears them everywhere and with everything. Sometimes if I try to put other shoes on him he cries until I go get his boots. I really don't mind because they are easy to put on and are about the most versatile and sturdy pair of shoes he has, plus they look cute on him. I think he likes them so much because all the babies in his books seem to have boots just like them. The babies also all seem to have yellow rain jackets and a few months ago I found one at the thrift store. Asher has been really adamant about putting on his yellow jacket and his boots to go outside (even if it is nice). I think he wants to be like the babies in his books :)

#2 Our new dishwasher

For the last year Jon and I have been mourning the loss of a dishwasher and have been trying to think of every conceivable way to fit a dishwasher into our kitchen. We decided that the only way we would be able to was to have a portable dishwasher, but they are EXPENSIVE! My dad gave us several old dishwashers that Jon thought he could build a box around and find a way to hook up to the sink but that turned out to be too much trouble. Then by sheer luck (or fate or gift from God) a lady in our ward at church had a portable dishwasher she wanted to get rid of. It really isn't the best dishwasher, you have to rinse your dishes REALLY well before putting them in, but at least it is a place to store the dirty dishes so they aren't on the counter. I love it.

#3 My first EVER home grown broccoli

This picture is really kind of pitiful and I actually felt quite absurd taking a picture of broccoli but I am SO excited about this. I've attempted to grow broccoli for the last two years and both times it was a failure. The first year I planted it too late so I got beautiful plants with no broccoli on them, and then last year I inadvertently killed all my plants with an "organic" attempt to get rid of ants. So this was my first real harvest and it tasted wonderful... actually it was the best broccoli I've EVER had in my life. I got three big beautiful heads just like this one, and would have had four but Asher whacked one of my plants with a hammer when it was just a baby and it never recovered. Yeah, it is a daily conversation at our house about what things are appropriate to hit with hammers... wood, trees, dirt-- Yes, broccoli, mom, mom's foot -- NO. Someday I hope it will sink in, at least before he starts dating.

#4 New baby chicks

This is kind of old news that I just never told you about. I've had the chicks for about 3 weeks now and they are so cute. I got four silkies and two polish, which are the ones that have the yellow pom poms on top of their heads. They just looked so cute and funny that we had to buy them. They will grow up to look something like this.

Crazy huh! We don't know if they are hens or roosters yet and I am just hoping I don't have 6 roosters. If we do have roosters I think I will keep one or two of them and sell the others. I found out that it doesn't matter if eggs are fertilized or not because the embryo doesn't start to develop for a few days and the fridge stops the whole process before it can start. I think it might be a fun adventure to try breeding some of my chickens so that I can get my own little chicks next year! Jon told me that he thinks I am obsessed with chickens, which might be true but I figure there are worse things to be obsessed with ;)

So there you have it, my happy list for the week... oh and don't forget to thank those feet of yours!

Life Just Isn't Fair

I don't really know what to say in this post, but I just need to write something down-- blog therapy or something like that. On Monday I attended the funeral of a woman in our church who passed away from cancer and then on Wednesday I attended the funeral of one of my best friends husbands who died in a motorcycle accident last week. Needless to say it has been an emotionally draining week for me.

While both funerals were sad because both people were WAY too young to die and were WAY too full of life, I have been having a really hard time dealing with my friend's husband dying so suddenly. She and her husband were high school sweethearts (they started dating our junior year) and they had only been married for five years. He left her with two little boys under the age of 4 and she is pregnant with their third child. I just doesn't seem fair that he was taken from her when she needs him SO much! My heart just aches and aches for her and I feel so bad that my life is going on normally while EVERYTHING has changed for her. It seems like this much grief and sorrow should just make the whole world stop, but it doesn't.

I'm a grown up enough of a girl to realized that life just isn't fair and that sometimes God allows bad things to happen to good people. but I am having a hard time seeing what it is that we are suppose to learn from a tragedy like this. Perhaps... that life is fragile, that life is way too short, that we need to be grateful for every moment we are granted, that we need to tell and show people we love them EVERY chance we get, that families are eternal, that the soul continues on after this life, that angels are with us always...

I think it has been especially hard for me, being so filled with a new life inside of me, to face so much death. And while I realize that death is not to be feared because life is eternal and that we will get to see our loved ones again someday, it is still hard to know that we don't have control and that sometimes things just aren't fair. I trust God and I trust his ways, but sometimes it is just downright HARD to have faith and find peace. Yet I do know that through Christ all sorrows can be healed and that true and lasting peace can be found.. and I believe in miracles. So if you happen to know this dear friend that I am talking about (and even if you don't) keep her in your prayers or in your heart because I know that the miracle of healing CAN come for her, for her family, and for everyone who loves them. It is just hard that sometimes the best people are the ones who have to suffer.

Asher Drags The Cat

This isn't the best video because it was taken on Jon's phone but it was SO hilarious that I couldn't pass it up. This is one of Jon's brother's cats who they often try to take on walks. He has a little harness and sometimes will walk just fine, other times he decides he is finished walking and just plops over. My brother-in-law said that sometimes when he is walking the cat he will look back and realize he has been dragging the cat for several feet! I guess the cat had decided he was finished walking, but Asher took him for a walk anyway :) I also love it that Asher almost gives the cat a kiss and then decides against it-- too much fur? But it is cute that he even thinks about it.

Wednesday's Woman

Deborah



Judges 4-5

Helpin' Dad

Jon brought home a half broken wheel barrow from the metal recyclers a few weeks back and fixed it up a bit to get it "running" again. As soon as Asher saw the screwdrivers and hammers come out he HAD to be helping. Both of my boys seem happiest when they have something to hammer on! I really love how much this little boy looks up to his Dad and how much he loves to be involved in ANYTHING Jon is doing-- especially if it involves tools.

Lately Asher has been going through a real "daddy phase" and wants to be with his Dad and doing what his Dad is doing ALL the time. As I was watching them work the other day I realized that Asher is learning from Jon, even at this young age, what it means to be a man and how to be one. His character, his identity, and his perception of manhood are already being shaped and molded by how he sees his parents interact and by what his Dad does. As I thought about this I realized how INCREDIBLY grateful I am to have such a wonderful man for a husband and to father my children. It gives me such peace to know that if Asher grew to be exactly like his Dad, I would be PERFECTLY happy. In fact, I've decided that now I have one important question to ask any young woman (probably just my little sisters-- so listen up!) thinking about marriage-- Would you be happy if your sons turned out to be EXACTLY like your potential marriage partner? Because the chances are that they will be a lot like their dad, (but probably better because each generation seems to improve in some way). I think that if you can answer "yes" to this question then you know you are marrying a good man, with a good heart-- even if he does have SOME annoying habits (which hopefully won't get passed on :). I know that BOTH mothers and fathers have a huge impact on the development of children's perceptions of manhood and womanhood, but there is something VERY important about the relationship that boy has with his father and that a girl has with her mother that helps shape what type of man or woman they are going to become. This doesn't mean that boys with good dads will always be good men or that boys with bad dads (or no dads) will always be bad men, but I do believe that having a father (or another strong male figure) who is a good role model makes a BIG difference in what type of man a boy turns out to be. As a woman and a mother I am so grateful that there are SO MANY wonderful men out there who really do a wonderful job of teaching little boys how to be good men. I feel even more grateful that I happen to be married to one, and that my little boy has a good role model to look up to.

Now I guess the pressure is on me now to be an example of womanhood to this little girl who is coming in September! Yikes!

Heatherlady's Cloth Diaper Recommendations

Way back before all the drama happened in my life I promised to let you know what I thought about the different cloth diapers we tried and which were my favorites. I know that some of you probably aren't interested in all this but I figure I will write it up for those who are-- and who knows maybe someday you will consider doing cloth and then this might be helpful. If you aren't interested in everything you can skip to the bottom to see what we decided to do, how much it cost, and what I would recommend if you just want to get some for your emergency kits.

So here are my reviews of the types we tried, I put stars next to them to show how much I liked them-- the more stars the better.

Prefolds *

I WON'T be using these. They were WAY too hard to put on and were WAY WAY too bulky for my fashion preferences. I have to admit that it was a little fun to figure out how to put them on (which we figured out thanks to YouTube) but they aren't going to work for us. We ordered the largest size and they wouldn't wrap all the way around Asher's waist-- and he is a skinny little thing! Maybe we were doing it wrong, but even so I didn't like them. After using these diapers I can see why our mothers were so excited for disposables! Oh, but these Snappi clasps are kind of cool--

but they don't snap so don't get confused. Oh, and prefolds are NOT prefolded... yeah I don't get it either. Just another reason for me not to use them.

Fitted Diapers**

Better than prefolds, but still WAY too bulky for me and I don't like the added trouble of putting a diaper cover over it. I'd rather just have one step, especially when I have a wiggly toddler who doesn't want a diaper on. I kept this one though because it is good for nighttime and I don't mind if Asher has a bulky diaper on under his PJs.

All in Ones ***

I thought that I would like these a lot because they are basically just like a disposable-- you just put it on and take it off... no stuffing, no diaper cover, no snappi clasp. And while these are really easy to use they weren't my favorite because 1) they take longer to dry (but I found that if you turn it inside out it dries faster) and 2) because they are still kind of bulky and there is no way for you to control how bulky it is. Even so, I still liked this one and decided to keep it-- but we will probably just use it at night.

Diaper Cover with an insert****

Don't worry this isn't the diaper we put Asher in, but I picked this picture to illustrate that one of the best things about diaper covers is that they come in SO many different colors and styles. There are some REALLY cute ones out there. I liked using the diaper covers because they weren't bulky at all. You just put a microfiber insert, a prefold, or some other type of padding, into the diaper cover and then put it on. The only downside to this method is that it is harder to keep the insert in place than in a pocket diaper and the inserts don't "wick" the moisture away from the baby's bottom like the pocket diapers do. But diaper covers are cheaper than pocket diapers so that makes them a good option.

Pocket Diapers *****

My FAVORITE!!!!! By far. I like that you can control the bulkiness on these ones by how much padding you stuff in them. I've found that Asher really only needs a thin microfiber insert during the day and that it will last several hours. In fact, I have been surprised that they hold as much as a disposable and that he can wear it as long (if not longer) than he could a disposable diaper. I also like that they "wick" the moisture away from his bottom and the insert absorbs everything. They also dry fast, clean up easy, and are really slim fitting. When Asher has one of these diapers on-- even with a thicker insert-- he doesn't look bulky at all. They work good for naps and nighttime as well if you put more padding in them. They have one-size ones that fit from birth to potty training as well as small, medium and large sizes. I found that even though Asher is almost 2 years old he still can fit in a medium sized diaper better than a large. I read somewhere that most kids only need small and medium diapers, unless they are really big for their age.

What We Decided To Do:

I kept all of the diapers I got from the trial program, but will mainly just use the BumGenius and Fuzzi bunz ones. I like the one-sized pocket diapers because they will adjust to fit from birth to potty training. But I found a woman nearby who was selling her stash of Fuzzi bunz diapers (only used for one baby) and she had small, medium and large sizes. I was really excited about this because the sized diapers are suppose to be slimmer fitting than the one-sized (not as much extra material) and she was selling her whole stash for less than it would cost me to get one-sized ones. Also, I've heard and read that the Velcro on the BumGenius diapers eventually won't stick. So even though I really like the convenience of the Velcro and the snaps on the Fuzzi bunz are a bit more tricky to figure out, I decided that since we are doing cloth diapers with the intent to use them for the rest of our kids I should get ones that won't wear out. I also got a lot of white diapers (mostly because that was what the woman I bought them from had) which I REALLY like. The colors are SUPER cute but the white ones are a bit more discrete under clothes. The first time I put a white one on Asher I exclaimed "Oh, he looks like a little missionary!" To which Jon scoffed and asked me when I had EVER seen a missionary in a cloth diaper. Um.... I haven't... but the white diaper just looked so cute and so clean on him. I like the colored ones too though-- especially the little girl ones.

What Did it Cost?

Jillian's Drawers Trial Program

1 diaper cover
1 fitted diaper
1 BumGenius All in One
1 BunGenius pocket one-size (2 inserts)
1 Fuzzi bunz pocket one-size (2 inserts)
1 All in One
2 prefolds

Total: $110 (with shipping)

Lady Selling Stash

10 small Fuzzi bunz (with inserts)
8 medium Fuzzi bunz
3 large Fuzzi bunz (with inserts)
8 cloth diapers-- to stuff inside the mediums

Total: $170 (about $7-8 a diaper)

Grand Total: 29 diapers= $ 280

I know some of you probably think that is a lot of money-- and well... it is, but I calculated it up and right now we spend $30 a month on diapers and wipes just for Asher who goes through one pack of size 3 every two weeks. A new baby will add an extra pack of diapers each week which will mean that we will spending AT LEAST $50 (probably more) a month on diapers and wipes for the two of them-- and that is if I only buy the cheap brands. I calculated it up and I found that after using cloth diapers for only five months I will already have recouped what I spent on them. So it may be a bit of an investment upfront but I won't have to buy diapers or wipes again EVER! Well, except to have a few for trips or crazy days. When I think about how much we've already spent on Asher's diapers that are just sitting in the landfill, cloth just makes more sense to me. And now that I've found that they aren't so bad to use, I am pretty excited about this switch.

What Should I Get for my Emergency Kit?

I think that if you wanted to get some just for your 72 hour kit or food storage I would recommend getting some one-sized BumGenius or Fuzzi bunz diapers. This way you will always have a diaper that is the right size, no matter what age your baby happens to be. They are REALLY easy to use, unlike the prefolds which take some practice to use. But no matter which ones you get for your emergency kit I would REALLY recommend trying them out first so that you know how to use them and how to wash them. Then if something really did happen and you didn't have disposables you would be prepared to use them.

I hope that this helps all of you who are thinking about using cloth diapers sometime in the future!

Not Another Sad Post... I Promise

After posting two sad and disheartened posts in a row I figure I better try to redeem myself so that you don't all think I've sunk into the depths of despair. I haven't, it is just that it has been a really hard and disappointing week. Sometimes those weeks happen and I've decided that when they do it is okay to be sad for awhile. But I am feeling better already and really, overall, I feel blessed and have learned some valuable life lessons. I can't really put into one simple concise sentence the lessons I've learned this week, but I want to try to put it into words somehow... so here I go...

Life Lesson #1

I feel a little silly that I've been so emotional and sentimental about my chickens, because really they are just chickens and can be replaced fairly easily. But I've noticed that when I am pregnant any form of life seems so much more precious to me. There is something about carrying a new life that makes me appreciate and value life, in all its forms, so much more. Having this little girl inside of me makes me look at the world with different eyes, and I find myself so much more full of love for all living things. I think this is why loosing our chickens last week has been so hard on me. Life just seems more precious now than ever before, and I realize how fragile and fleeting it is.

Yet, I've also realized that no sorrow lasts forever and that there are ALWAYS new beginnings. This quote from Elder Wirthlin's last General Conference talk has continuously been on my mind. He said:

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude. "

I realize that life will always go forward and that there will always be new joys. We may not be able to have exactly what we had before, and it is okay to mourn for that loss, but God will always help us find a way to heal our hearts and to be at peace.

But I have four NEW little chicken ladies, which have gone a long way to heal my heart again! Last week I found a lady who was selling her year old hens and who happened to have the EXACT same breeds as the ones we lost. So we got half back of what we had before. They are older and are already laying eggs. We like to think that they are just our chickens but grown up-- really fast. We've taken extra precautions to keep them safe from raccoons and Jon is working on a super duper new chicken run and coop. I think I am also going to get some more chicks from the farm store this week--- and they are going to be Silkies! (These aren't my birds, but I like pictures of Silkies so I thought I'd put it up :)

So, see... there are always new joys to be found in life.

Life Lesson #2

I've learned that things can ALWAYS be worse than they are, and that when hard things happen I need to learn to look for the good that comes from them. Even though it has been really painful and really hard to have this broken foot, I find myself grateful every minute that it was me and not my little boy who got stuck under the beam. It really gives me nightmares to think about how close he came being crippled or crushed by the beam. It doesn't make sense to me that it didn't tip over on him because I barely moved the beam and it fell, while he had been climbing all over them that morning. God really is merciful and so despite my pain I am filled with gratitude.

I've also been SO humbled and grateful for the wonderful people in our church who have reached out to me with sympathy (I've had 3 other women come up and tell me that they also broke their foot when they were pregnant and that they could sympathize with me-- I guess it is more common that I would have thought!) , with offers to watch my son, to help me around the house, to bring me dinner, or to just come over and sit with me for awhile. Being on the receiving end of so much love and kindness makes me want to be a better friend and neighbor. I think it will be harder now to justify not taking someone a meal or not visiting them or not offering to help when I feel prompted. Because now I realize HOW much it is appreciated and HOW much someone might need help, even if they don't ask you for it. I feel blessed to have so much support around me.

So overall I am doing fine and am sort of enjoying being able to slow down for a little while. I'm praying that my foot heals fast and that I won't have to be on crutches too long. The doctor told me that if I am good and stay off it I might be able to walk on it in 3 weeks. Even though this is frustrating I've decided to have a positive attitude about it and to make the most out of what God wants me to learn at this time in my life. Thank you for all your kind words of support, it means a lot to me... oh, and stay away from raccoons and I-beams!

It Has Been A Hard Week

Not only did we loose all 8 of our chickens to a rascally raccoon Wednesday night but THEN on Saturday we were sorting through the big pile of metal scraps that the previous owner of our house left behind and one of these

a 300+ lb steel I-Beam, tipped over and crushed my foot underneath it. It hurt SO incredibly bad, I really don't think I've ever experienced that much pain before. I had always wondered how people could be in so much pain that it makes them pass out, but now I know. I didn't pass out but got really close several times. Jon took me immediately to the InstaCare to have it looked at and I really wish I could somehow thank the wonderful people who, after seeing me bawling (I was trying so hard not to) graciously told the receptionist to let me go ahead of them. There really are angels everywhere! It turns out that I only have a small break, a chip out of the bridge of my foot, which was such a relief! But I still need to go see an orthopedic doctor this week to take a look at my ligaments and tendons. My foot was crushed pretty badly under the beam and I think that it bruised and stretched all the ligaments in my foot really bad. I hope it is all it is and that I'll be able to get a walking cast soon and not have to use crutches, because really there is NOTHING worse than being on crutches. Oh, wait-- yes there is... being pregnant and on crutches... wait, wait... having an 18 month old to take care of, being 7 months pregnant AND being on crutches.

Yeah... I 'm trying hard not to feel sorry for myself, but it is hard. Especially when my foot still hurts really bad and is swollen so big that I look like I am elephant. It is also REALLY hard to feel useless. I am not able to do anything I normally do and can't really take care of Asher. Jon has been really good about doing things, but I feel so bad putting so much responsibility on him. Tomorrow might be an interesting day for Asher and I when Jon is at work. Luckily, Asher is getting better at listening and following commands so hopefully he will be good and we can just watch movies or something.

Yet, despite the little pity party I am hosting for myself I am SO grateful that it was my foot crushed and not Asher. Asher had been climbing all over the pile of beams Saturday morning and we didn't think twice about it because we thought they were stacked better than they were. I can't imagine what one of those 300 lb beams would have done to his little body. It gives me chills just thinking about it and makes me REALLY grateful that it was just my foot that got hurt. So there is a silver lining to this cloud, but I just really hope that we don't have too many more clouds in our path because I am feeling stretched to my limit. Sob.

The Saddest Morning

This really has been the saddest morning. Around 8 o'clock Jon went out to the backyard and found that ALL of our chickens were dead. They were all laying in a line along the inside of the chicken run. Some of them had obviously been chewed on by some sort of animals, while others looked like they had just tipped over dead out of sheer fright. Before Jon came in and told me he put them all in a bucket and covered it with straw and spread straw all over the inside of the chicken run to cover up the blood and the feathers. When I went out there was just an empty chicken coop. I bawled.

We think that a fox or a raccoon must have gotten into the chicken run and had a late night snack. The sides of the run are too high for a dog and a cat wouldn't have been able to wreck that kind of havoc. We didn't have a covering to the top of the run because we figured they would be safe. Our neighbors two houses down have a whole bunch of chickens who just run free around their yard, and they don't even have a fence. They have had them for years and said they never have had anything get at them, except for people who are walking their dogs along the street. Their chickens were out pecking around just fine and dandy this morning, while ours are all gone. Sob. Sob. Our coop is really close to the house and we just assumed that they would be safe, but we were REALLY, REALLY wrong. I feel so bad about the whole thing because I feel like they were trapped in there and couldn't run away. I feel like we have been bad stewards of our chickens and that we put them in danger. If we had just put chicken wire over the top then they would have been fine (maybe). I know that I shouldn't beat myself up too bad, because honestly-- how could we know what would happen? Life is always full of new lessons to be learned, even if you have to learn some of them the hard way.

I just can't believe that ALL 8 of them are gone. I mean it is one thing to have one or two get eaten or to get sick and die, but to have all 8 gone at once is tragic. I told Jon this must be what it feels like to have your dog get run over by a car, and he said "Yeah, but only 8 times worse." I didn't realize how attached Jon and I had become to those chickens over the last few months. We really loved them. They had become a big part of our life and our family. We saved money to get them, we planned and worked together to get place for them to live, we cooed and adored them as chicks, watched them grow and their perosnalieis develop, and were looking forward to having our first eggs in about month! Sob.

Asher doesn't really understand yet what has happened, and I don't think he will-- I hope. He hasn't even noticed they are gone yet. I am sad for him because he really loved feeding, petting and chasing the chickens. I hope that we will be able to get some more chickens in the next week or so that will take the place of the ones we lost. Then maybe he won't even realize what happened. This weekend we are going to build an new an improved chicken run and I've already found someone who has month old chickens for sale. I might even be able to get the Silkie chickens or the Frizzles that I wanted so much last time. This means I won't have eggs till about the fall, but at least it will be better than nothing. But still, my heart aches for my little chickens and I feel like there is a gap in my heart. I can't even write this without crying. Sob. But I will get over it. It has just been a rough morning. Bye Bye my chicky babes-- Do you think chickens go to heaven?

The Verdict on Cloth Diapers is...

That I like them.

I have to admit that despite my initial excitement about trying something new and about how cute they are-- I was still REALLY skeptical about them and wasn't sure if I was up for them. But we have been using cloth diapers for about a month now and I've realized that they aren't as much work or as gross as I thought they were going to be. In fact, I wouldn't say they aren't too much different than using disposables-- except for the fact that you have to rinse them out and then wash them. Which turned out to be a lot easier than I thought.

I had a few BIG initial concerns when we started this cloth diaper adventure, but I think that over this last month I've resolved each one to my and Jon's satisfaction. So here were my concerns and how we resolved them.

1. Rinsing out sticky, smeary poopy diapers. This was my biggest concern because I can hardly even look at those really gross diapers-- let alone wash them! But it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be-- which is saying something! When I first thought of cloth diapers I imagined myself having to rinse and wash the diapers out in the toilet-- but really all you have to do is get the chunks off and flush them. If the diaper is smeary you might have to swish it in the water for a little bit, but it doesn't have to be all off and it doesn't have to be all clean. Just enough that there aren't big pieces (sorry, I hope that isn't too much imagery for some people). The washing machine gets most of the rest off-- and Jon is going to make me a diaper sprayer hose that connects to your toilet so I can just spray them and not have to dunk them (you can also buy sprayers online, but I have a handy husband who says he can make one cheaper). So poopy diapers haven't been the nightmare I envisioned them to be, and I think they will be NO big deal once I have a diaper sprayer. But it does add a bit more work than if you did disposables, but not really too much.
   
2. How cloth diapers work when you are out and about. This one was really super easy to figure out. I just take plastic bags with me in my purse and in the car and wrap the diapers up in them until I get home. My friend even found some bags at the dollar store that are scented. Dirty diapers can sit for a day or two before they need to be washed and start to smell, so carrying them around in my bag hasn't been a big problem. Also, I am not above using disposables for car trips, times I don't want to bother with cloth, or when I won't be home to wash them for awhile. For wipes I just put some of my homemade cloth wipes in a Ziploc bag or in my regular portable diaper container and then wrap them up with the stinky diaper like I would a disposable wipe. Oh, and the pocket diapers and the all-in-one diapers are SO easy to use that it is no big deal for other people to change them if the need arises.
   
3. What about wipes? I was concerned about wipes and how they would work with cloth diapers. This issue was easily fixed by making my own cloth wipes out of some old terry cloth material I've had sitting in my basement for ages. I've made about 30-40 wipes and then once a week I make a batch of wipes (the recipe is here) and then I can just wrap the wipe up in the cloth diaper and put them both in the pail. I actually like these wipes MUCH better than disposable wipes and even have been using them when I use disposables because they get Asher cleaner faster and make him smell better. I've found though that if you let them sit for longer than a week they start to smell musty, so I usually only make about 20 wipes at a time (only use 1 cup in the recipe instead of 2) and that seems to give us all we need for the week without them getting musty. Maybe when I have two babies I will make the complete recipe.
   
4. Diaper stains and used diapers. So far I have been AMAZED at how nice and clean my diapers get after washing them--even the really gross ones. I've only had one of my diaper inserts get stained so far, which was mostly because I really should have washed it once more (it was a pretty bad poopy diaper) and didn't. But it isn't that bad. I tried putting it out in the sun to get rid of the stain (everyone has been telling me that the sun will get rid of stains) but it didn't work. It made it lighter but it is still there. So maybe I'll put it out again next time it is dirty or just hit it really good with a stain remover. But overall, the diapers clean up really nice and I've heard that when they start to stink (someday) you just have to put them through a few intense hot washes and it gets rid of the smell. After seeing how nice diapers clean up I really don't have a problem with getting used diapers. I've found that lots of mom's take REALLY good care of their diapers and so used ones are almost as good as new ones-- except MUCH cheaper.
   

I'd say that there are only two things that make me hesitate about shouting the praises of cloth diapers to the blogging world-- 1) that you do have to dump/spray out the poop AND 2) that they are bit more bulky than disposable diapers are (when disposables aren't wet). Like I said before the rinsing thing isn't as big a deal as I thought-- especially with a diaper sprayer-- but you still have to do it. Some days this is a little bit more a of a pain, especially when life is busy or your toddler is crazy wiggly and demanding. So I've decided to keep a stash of disposables around as well so that on the days that get crazy or overwhelming I don't have to feel like I committed myself to something that is too overwhelming. We all have those days when even the little things push us over the edge-- and actually on those days ANY poopy diaper, cloth or disposable, is too much for me!

My other hesitation is about bulky diapers, which really is more of a vain fashion preference of mine. I don't like it when Asher's bottom looks poofy or when you can tell that he has a cloth diaper on. But I've pretty much resolved this one because I found that there are some brands and some types of diapers that are slimmer than others. I've found some brands and padding combinations that I really like and which make Asher's diapers about the same size as a disposable. I am going to write another post tomorrow (maybe?) about my personal recommendations on types of diapers and what I like the most. So, all in all we really like the cloth diapers and have decided that it is the best thing financially for our family. I could say more, but I think I'll end this post for today because it has gotten long enough already ;)