Lately

My babies are growing up so fast. It seems like every day they surprise me with something new. Rose especially is developing such a cute little personality. Her vocabulary has expanded to included "da da", "ma" (which can mean either Mom, more or milk-- actually I think in her mind they are all the same word), "dog", "Aaaa (Asher)", "uh-oh", and two days ago during family prayer she surprised us when she said "Amen".

She loves jewelry and in Relief Society she travels around collecting every one's necklaces. It is also cute to see how she loves to be dressed up and admired. The other day we went to The Children's Place and I had her try on the cutest little fur coat. She loved it and ran around the store looking at herself in the mirror and didn't want to take it off. I think this is a bad sign of things to come! I wish the coat hadn't been so expensive. It was adorable.

She has also turned into such a little stinker. She knows EXACTLY what buttons to push to make her brother mad and she loves to push them. There isn't anything she loves more in this world that stealing one of Asher's favorite toys, making a mad dash away, while giggling the whole time. Asher and Rose have started to play together lately and it melts my heart. The other day they were being super quiet while I was making dinner and when I went in to check on them I found Asher looking at his books and Rose sitting next to him looking through her book. Those are the pay day moments of motherhood.

Asher is really turning to a little boy. He is speaking so well and other people can actually understand him most of the time now. He has been super possessive of his toys and has latched on to a few that he has to carry around with him all the time. Jon gave him one of his old tool bags to put some of his toy tools in and Asher keeps adding stuff to it. It is getting so heavy now that he can hardly tote it around. Still, it goes EVERYWHERE with us. It seems like every two seconds I hear "Mom, where is my tool baggy!" My life is a constant search for it.

He also has a "dumpin the dirt" (a front end loader) truck that is fused to his hand and has to go to bed with him. He also puts the phrase "I will" at the end of everything he says. Like " Asher have a cookie, I will." "Asher go to the D.I, (he loves the D.I.) I will." "I be mad, I will."

Last Sunday he wanted to wear a tie to church so that he could be like his Daddy. He was the proudest little boy you've ever seen. He strutted into church and even grabbed a program for the greeter. He told everyone at church that he was big like his Daddy. We might need to get him a tie that actually matches his shirt one of these days.

Our community does an annual "Pumpkin Walk" at one of the local parks and we went for the first time this year. It was wonderful. I was so impressed with all the scenes people were able to create out of pumpkins. I think my favorite was this Charlie Brown one.

Do you notice Asher's open mouth? That is how he smiles when you ask him to smile for the camera. He's been doing it since he was little. I'm not quite sure why, but is kind of hilarious.

I also loved this one with the mother pig and her babies. So creative!

This was my favorite cut-out. I especially love how Rose's face is squashed!

Jon's dad came up a few days ago and took Asher fishing at the reservoir up the road from our house. Asher was super excited about "catchin a fisky" but his interest didn't last too long. After a few casts he informed grandpa that "I don't see no fiskies, they seeping" but he loved spending time with his grandpa.

I love this picture. What a cute little boy I have. It breaks my heart to see how big he is getting. I wish I could slow him down just a little bit. I used to laugh when my parents said I'd grown up too fast, but now I understand-- 18 is going to come way too soon for me.

Transformations

After many (okay years) of hard work we finally have a yard! Just in time for it to snow. In case you don't remember here is what our backyard looked like last spring

It took us all last summer to tear down the shed and clean up the huge mess left in our backyard by the previous owner. This spring we added top soil and tilled up our rock hard soil. Here is Jon leveling it with the contraption he welded together.

All ready for planting-- about July.

Here is what it looked like two days ago.

It has been so nice to have a backyard instead of a scary shed and a big mud pile. We've really enjoyed it so much the few weeks and hopefully all the grass will grow back next spring!

I've also been working on re-finishing my dining room table and chairs. It has been a big project but I love how it turned out.

Here is what the chairs looked like before (sorry, Britt, this is the only "before" picture I could find of the chairs)

Ugly huh? Here they are after I painted and glazed them and my wonderful aunt came and helped me re-upholster the seat covers.

I also redid the top of my dining room table. I bought the table for $25 dollars a few years ago because the veneer was chipping off. I sanded it down and painted it, glazed it and put polyurethane on the top. I love how it turned out. It is feels really nice to finally have a table and chairs that actually match.

Jon and I got a lot accomplished this summer and I am sort of glad that it is getting cold because then it means an end to projects. Oh, just kidding. We still have an upstairs bathroom to finish. I guess we'll have projects this winter too. Good thing we like projects.

Giving Away Incredible Prizes... So Fun!

Tomorrow is the my 2nd "Blog-iversary" for my Women in the Scriptures blog and in celebration I am giving away some pretty incredible prizes.

Here is just a taste to get you excited...

A 20x24 custom, professionally giclee print on canvas of Maren Scott's painting "My Beloved Son" worth over a $150.

A wood mounted copy of Flor Larios' "Nativity Star".

And there are MORE!

The giveaway will run until September 28th at 11 PM. So make sure you go over and enter soon! I am sort of wishing it wasn't my blog so I could win one.

Each A Mother

I realize that I talk a lot about motherhood on this blog. Mostly because that is what my whole life revolves around right now and because I've discovered a new passion and vision of eternal motherhood and womanhood that takes my breath away whenever I think about it. It is all I can do not to shout out to all the women I see at the grocery store (especially if they are pregnant), "WOW! Don't we have amazing bodies! Isn't the work God has for us to do here incredible!"

Yet I also realize that a good portion of the women who read my blog aren't married, some of you have chosen not to have children yet, and some are struggling with infertility. I also realize that some women who are mothers through adoption or "aunt"option ( I just made that word up... I like it:) haven't, for many different reasons, had the opportunity of being pregnant or giving birth.

I just want to bear my testimony that I know all women are mothers. I know that regardless of our ability to physically bear children we all have the same access to the divine power of our bodies and the ability to nurture and guide children to the light of Christ. I think that Sheri Dew explained it best. She said:

" ...While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living”—and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Just as worthy men were foreordained to hold the priesthood in mortality,righteous women were endowed premortally with the privilege of motherhood. Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us...

...Motherhood is not what was left over after our Father blessed His sons with priesthood ordination. It was the most ennobling endowment He could give His daughters, a sacred trust that gave women an unparalleled role in helping His children keep their second estate. As President J. Reuben Clark Jr. declared, motherhood is “as divinely called, as eternally important in its place as the Priesthood itself.” (Are We Not All Mothers, Ensign. Nov. 2001)

It is interesting to me that most of the stories about birth in the scriptures revolve around women's inability to have children. In fact I'd say that the trial of "bareness" is one that God has given to some of his strongest and most select daughters. Women like Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, the mother of Samson, the Shunamite, Hannah, and Elisabeth all struggled with extended periods of bareness. We don’t really know why some women aren’t able to bear children in this life, yet it is a beautiful promise to women to know that all women hold the seeds of divinity with in their bodies and someday, in this life or the next they will take root. Motherhood is something all women were foreordained with and it is part of their eternal nature and birthright.

The scriptures bear powerful testimony of this because in them we see that ALL, let me repeat that ALL, the women in the scriptures who are mentioned as "barren" eventually bear children of their own. Even women like Sarah and Elisabeth who were almost 100 years old, and with whom it would have been physically impossible for them to have children, bear sons from their bodies. It is God and God alone who opens or closes the womb. Remember the scripture in Isaiah 54: 1, 7 that says:

" Sing O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the Lord... For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee."

It is my sincere hope that all the women who read my blog will realize that when I talk about motherhood, when I talk about birth, I am talking about it in the eternal sense of the word. Motherhood is more than just giving life to a child, it is more than nurturing-- it like Sheri Dew said, "the essence of who we are as women." We each have these divine seeds inside of us and regardless of our earthy experiences and opportunities, our position before God and our eternal blessings will be the same.

We truly are all mothers.

Magic Mix

Awhile ago a friend mentioned Magic Mix on her blog and I decided to try it.

It is amazing stuff.

I am totally in love with it.

Image source

To make it all you have to do is mix together:

2 1/3 C. Powdered Milk
1 C. All Purpose Flour (Yes, use All Purpose)
1 C. (2 sticks) Margarine (***HAS TO BE REAL MARGARINE, NOT SPREAD***) or Butter, at room temperature

To see more in-depth instructions on how to make it you can go here.

It may sound simple but you can use it in so many things. I made a batch a few weeks ago and and have been keeping it my fridge. I've used it to make making white sauces and cheese sauces and not only can I now make them super fast but they turn out beautiful every time. Which is definitely MAGIC to a girl who is famous for making watery cheese sauce.

I also tried the recipe for chocolate pudding and it was super tasty. Jon liked it better than the box mix.

I especially like it because I am trying to cut back on the amount of processed foods my family eats and with the Magic Mix I can make things that I wouldn't have ever dared to before. Like Cream of Chicken Soup! So easy.

I think that I am going to stop investing in buying cases of cream of chicken soup for my food storage and instead spend the money on a big bag of powdered milk.

You should try this stuff.

It really is magic.

Meeting My Hero

I had an incredible experience yesterday.

I got to meet Sister Julie Beck.

It was amazing. She is one of the most incredible women I've ever met. She just radiates love from her... pure and genuine.

For those of you who aren't LDS Julie Beck is the General President of the Relief Society, the women's organization of the church. She has been the General President for a good portion of my adult life and she has been such an influential person in my life. It seems like every time she opens her mouth to speak she says something that heals a hole in my heart.

I went to go talk to her about the book, The Gift of Giving Life:Rediscovering the Divine Nature of Pregnancy and Birth, that I am working on. The other authors all live out of State and so it was just me who went. We'd been feeling prompted for months to contact Sister Beck and let her know about our project but kept brushing the thought away because it seemed ridiculous. I mean really you don't just call up and invite yourself to talk with Sister Beck! But when a another highly respectable person suggested that Sister Beck might really like to know about it... we figured it wouldn't hurt to just try.

I was really surprised when her secretary contacted me a week or so ago and told me that Sister Beck had read my email and really wanted to connect with us. So yesterday I went to the Relief Society building on Temple Square which, for all of you who haven't been inside it before, feels like a palace. It really is stunning inside. I had to wait for her for awhile because the RS Presidency was in another meeting. When they came out I got to meet them all and shake their hands! Then Sister Beck took me aside and I got to go talk with her for about 20 minutes about the project and what we are trying hoping do. She was so kind and gave me a lot of really wonderful stories, ideas and, suggestions for the book. She told me to keep doing what we are doing and to go forward with inspiration... and to keep loving my babies.

Then she gave me a hug.

Wow. I could have floated away right then.

She truly in my hero. I don't think there would be anyone else on this earth I'd rather have met (okay the prophet would have been pretty good too). This morning I was thinking about the scripture in Alma 48:17 about how if all men were like Captain Moroni the very powers of hell would been shaken forever. I think that it would be fair to re-write that scripture and say, " Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all [WOMEN] had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto [SISTER BECK] behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men."

Really what an amazing woman. When I look at the picture it just feels surreal that I was even there. I feel so incredibly humble that she took time out of her busy schedule to talk with little ole unimportant me. God works in mysterious ways.

And just in case you were still thinking you'd like to submit a story for the book here is a list of he type of stories we still need. If you feel prompted PLEASE don't hesitate to send us a story or get your friend or sister to send us one.

Meditation - How did you meditate during your pregnancy? How did meditation prepare you for birth/motherhood? Share any growth, insights, or anything about meditation.

Preparation - What ceremonies/rituals did you participate in to prepare you for birth/motherhood/letting go of maidenhood? How did you spiritually prepare for the birth? Physically? Mentally and Emotionally? What would you write on a spiritual birth plan? We are also looking for stories about preparation and agency/consequences as they relate to pregnancy, birth, and beyond.

Healing from Sexual Abuse - How giving birth helped you heal from sexual abuse?

Your Legacy - How knowing your Mother's (or another person's) story affected your birth.

Constant Nourishment - How your nourished your body, mind, or spirit during pregnancy, labor, motherhood.

The Spirit/Mind/Body Connection - How did your mind affect your body, or your spirit effect your body?

Re-birth - Whatever that means to you.

Unity - We are looking for stories about unity with your partner, unity with caregivers, unity with baby, unity with God, and any other kind of unity.

The Atonement - Any stories or essays about pregnancy and birth and how it relates to the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

Spiritual Experiences with Medicated Births - We're short on these. We aren't sure why. We know birth can be spiritual no matter what, but for some reason, natural birthers are more excited to talk about their experiences. So if you have had spiritual Cesarean births or spiritual medicated births, please share. Birth is a miracle no matter how babies come. The point of this book is to bring that back into primary focus.

Please send us your story as a word document or in the body of an email. Try to keep them somewhat short. I know it's hard. Please don't send links. Also, this is a spiritual birthing book for LDS women, so please do not edit things of a spiritual nature. Don't worry about being a fabulous writer. We are good editors.

We can't promise we'll use them, but we can promise to get your final approval before we publish them. So sit down and writer yours today and send it to me at ldsbirthstories at gmail dot com.

This is Amazing.

If you get a chance take a few minutes and watch this. It is so inspiring. I LOVE the way he gives thanks for his trials because they have taught him how to love. Wow. I realize I have such a long way to come in my own life. Just a warning... it will probably make you cry, so be warned.

Rose Walked!

Rose took her first steps today! This morning we were at the daycare at the Gym (I work there once a week for a few hours to get a "free" membership) and when I was talking to one of the other workers she took three steps across room- by-her-self! The other girl and I stopped talking and looked at each other in disbelief and then broke out in a cheer. Rose walked a few more times before we left and has been doing it off and on all afternoon! It is so adorable to see her take her wobbly little steps.

Yippee for my little, getting bigger than I'd like, girl!

They are My Guests

Yesterday I was working on some pieces for my book project and I came across this quote that spoke directly to my heart:

“ … may I remind you, that these children did not come to you and ask you to give them bodies, they did not ask you sisters to become mothers and the men to become father of their earthy bodies. The Lord commanded, or course, that we should multiply and replenish the earth. But you, of your own volition, created the bodies for the spirits to take, and these little ones were gracious enough to come to the body you created. They are your guests. You, as hosts, owe to them all of the consideration, all of the love, all of the kindness, all of the patience and courtesy and all the other virtues that it is possible for you to give. They are here because you invited them to come. Thank God for their presence.”

- J. Reuben Clark, Jr. Relief Society Magazine, December 1955, pg. 792

How grateful I am that they were willing to come! When I remember that I am changing the diapers of a future Goddess and training a future God how to put his pants on, it sure makes my job feel much more glamorous. I needed this reminder... thanks J. Reuben Clark, Jr.

Rosie's first pony tail. I can't decide if it looks cute or silly.




These the 3D glasses I got when we went to go see Toy Story 3.
Asher loves them and still wears mine and his around the house whenever he finds them.

Little Toot

Did you ever see this show when you were little?

If you haven't it is really wonderful. My brother and I use to watch this show ad nausm when we were younger. We loved it.

I'd almost forgotten about it until I found a copy of "Melody Time" at the library and checked it out for Asher to watch. It is a collection of a bunch of little stories-- Johnny Appleseed, Pecos Bill, the Flight of the Bumble Bee, Little Toot-- all strung together with great music. Asher absolutely loved it, especially the "Little Toot" story. We watched it over and over and over again.

I took the movie back to the library months ago but Asher still loves to sing the Little Toot song and lately has been building little toots out of his blocks.

Can you see how he put a little block on top of the other to make the smoke stack?
You have to use your imagination a little.

One night he made a whole fleet of them.

Then a few weeks later he drew Little Toots all over the back patio with sidewalk chalk.

At first I couldn't tell what he was drawing. They just looked like circles with sticks in them to me. But then he expalined they were his Little Toots and the I could see that they were really ships with smoke stacks coming out the top.



Do you see it?

What a goof.

I Guess I Am Really Insecure...

... because no one left a comment on my last post, and while usually my psyche is just fine if no one leaves a comment on a post, this post took so much of me to write that this time my brain started to circulate these kind of thoughts...

It was too long,

No one read it,

It was poorly written,

I confused them,

They hated it but don't know how to tell me nicely,

They think I'm weird,

No one cared,

I shouldn't blog,

Wah, wah!

Okay, so I know that is a total over reaction but it kind of broke my little blogger heart (just a litte... don't feel guilty) because I was really looking forward to hearing what people thought about my post. Even mean comments would have been better than no comments. Okay I take that back, mean comments would have been worse. So I guess if you were going to leave one and then refrained... thank you.

I feel like it is so important for you all my readers to understand this part of me or else the rest of what I write on this blog won't mean quite as much. I'm not saying it is the --absolute carved in stone truth to end all truth-- but it is how I see the world and eternity at this point in my life and I am constantly open to learning more. Please realize they are just ideas and I'm not trying to pass it off as hard doctrine. I think that this quote from LeGrand Richard’s A
Marvelous Work and a Wonder (pg. 415) explains well how I feel.

“ The man who has a certain religious belief and fears to discus it, lest it may be proved wrong, is not loyal to his belief; he has but a coward’s faithfulness to his prejudices. If he were a lover of truth, he would be wiling at any moment to surrender his belief for a higher, better and truer faith.” - William George Jordan.

So I know it is TOTALLY pathetic to beg for comments, but I would really love to hear what you thought about what I wrote.

Did it make you think?

Did it make you look at motherhood and birth differently?

Did it help you understand me a little better and why I feel so passionate about birth and motherhood?

Did it help you understand that I don't care how women birth but that I see birth, in every way as a mircale and a gift from God?

Do you think I'm a total nut job?

This is Where My Passion Comes From

I quite often get asked why I am so passionate about birth. I've thought a lot about this, trust me, and it is very complicated answer. It isn't something that is easy for me to explain. Yet seeing as I've written a lot about birth on this blog, and probably will write more in the future, I feel like it is important for me to share where the source of my beliefs about pregnancy and birth originate. Perhaps in understanding my basic paradigm for how I construct my view of womanhood and motherhood it will help you understand why I've made the choices I have and why I have such a passion for it.

I've tried to explain a bit of how I understand the importance of birth, motherhood and womanhood in a post that I originally posted on my Women in the Scriptures blog. I know that many of you don't read both my blogs... it is okay, I forgive you... and so I thought I'd re-post it here. I welcome your insights but PLEASE remember that this is a part of my heart and I ask you to handle it with care.

With that said, here is what I wrote:

As I delve into this topic I first need apologize to those of you who aren't LDS or who aren't familiar with LDS doctrine. This piece is written for an LDS audience and it is too hard, and would take way too long, for me to explain all the concepts I refer to. I don't think that this means if you aren't LDS you won't be enlightened by what I have to say, it just might be a little confusing for you. Please feel free to email me with any of your questions or you can visit this website to learn more about LDS beliefs. Also PLEASE realize that the ideas expressed here are my own personal opinions and not official doctrine of the LDS church.

One of the things I've noticed as I've studied the scriptures is that birth is an over arching theme in the stories of the women in the scriptures. A good portion of the stories about women in the scriptures center around women's ability to bear, or inability to bear, children.

Personally, the births of my children have been incredible spiritual experiences for me and have completely changed my outlook on life and eternity. I've gained great spiritual strength through the birth process and a closer relationships with my Heavenly Father and Mother. As I've reflected on my own experiences and as I read about the important role birth plays in the lives of the women of the scriptures I am prompted to believe the ability to give life is a central part of what it means to be an eternal woman and that the birth process is incredibly important to God.

A friend pointed out that in the Proclamation to the Family it says, "We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed." The means by which mortal life is created is through the processes of conception, pregnancy and birth. It stands to reason that if God designed the way children are conceived to be deeply and powerfully symbolic of a man and a woman becoming "one flesh" (Genesis 2 :24) then He has also designed the way children are born into this world to be deeply and powerfully symbolic.

In order to understand the symbolism and meaning behind labor and birth, and to understand why so many of the stories of women in the scriptures center around birth, we have to go back to Eve and the Garden.

Two Trees

When God placed Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden he planted two trees, the tree of knowledge of good and evil and the tree of life. He told Adam and Eve that there would be consequences if they ate of the tree of knowledge but ".... nevertheless, thou mayest choose for thyself, for it is given unto thee;" (Moses 3:17)

We know that Eve exercised the agency God had given her and chose to partake of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Through modern day revelation we know that what we she did was for the benefit of mankind and that by partaking of the fruit she was fulfilling her divine mission as a woman. In his talk "What It Means to Be a Daughter of God" James E. Faust said:

We all owe a great debt of gratitude to Eve... The choice was really between a continuation of their comfortable existence in Eden, where they would never progress, or a momentous exit into mortality with its opposites: pain, trials, and physical death in contrast to joy, growth, and the potential for eternal life. In contemplating this choice, we are told, “And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, … and a tree to be desired to make her wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and also gave unto her husband with her, and he did eat.” And thus began their earthly probation and parenthood. . . . If it hadn’t been for Eve, none of us would be here."

Eve was fulfilling her divine purpose when she partook of the tree of knowledge. From the foundations of the world she had been chosen and named as "the mother of all living" and she knew that in order to fulfill her mission she must partake of the fruit and become like God. She also knew that she wouldn't be able to fulfill her divine role without Adam's help and so she got Adam to partake of the fruit. The scriptures don't say she had to deceive or trick Adam into eating it, rather it seems that Adam "hearkened" unto his wife and agreed to the transgression so that Eve would be able to fulfill her divine calling.

Just as Eve was set apart to be the "mother of all living" from the foundations of the world, Adam was set apart to be the great High Priest of the earth with the responsibility to hold the keys and perform the saving ordinances that would bring the children of God back into His presence. Joseph Smith taught:

" The Priesthood is an everlasting principle, and existed with God from eternity… Christ is the Great High Priest; Adam next... the priesthood was first given to Adam; he obtained... it in the Creation, before the world was formed” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1938, pp. 157–58)

Adam hearkened first to Eve's divine mission and now, as Adam and Eve progress through their probationary time (Genesis 3: 22, 24), it is Eve's turn to hearken to Adam. God has designed a beautiful partnership in which Adam helps Eve fulfill her mission to bring God's children into the world; after which it is Eve's turn to hearken and help Adam fulfill his mission to bring those children unto Christ, the tree of life, and back into God's presence.

I don't think that it is any coincidence that God placed two people, male and female, in the garden and also planted two trees in the garden... two people, two trees, two divine responsibilities.

Two Veils

While the trees which God planted in the Garden of Eden have multiple levels of meaning one way in which they may be interpreted is as representing the two veils that all mankind must pass through on their journey towards exaltation.

The first veil that all mankind passes through is the veil of birth in which man is born into the world by water, blood and the spirit. Women have a stewardship over this first veil. When Eve partook of the tree of knowledge she became more like God, knowing good from evil and gaining the capacity to bear children. Eve's transgression "opened the matrix", as it says in Exodus 34:19, the womb, the gateway through which the souls of all mankind would pass through into the mortal world. The only possible way to enter this mortal world is through the body of a woman and by the shedding of her blood... there is no other way.

The second veil is the one we must pass through in order to re-enter the presence of God and continue on our eternal journey. Men have a stewardship over this second veil. Just like Adam, righteous men hold the priesthood keys and administer the ordinances which help us to become clean and enable us to go back into the presence of God. Just like the first veil, the second veil requires a sacrifice of blood, water and spirit. Through His Atonement Jesus Christ performed this great and last sacrifice for all mankind. Just as women are the only gateways into the mortal world, Christ is the only gateway into the eternal world... there is no other way.

These two veils are described in Moses 6: 59 which reads:

"That by reason of transgression cometh the fall, which fall bringeth death, and inasmuch as ye were born into the world by water, and blood, and the spirit, which I have made, and so became of dust a living soul, even so ye must be born again into the kingdom of heaven, of water, and of the Spirit, and be cleansed by blood, even the blood of mine Only Begotten; that ye might be sanctified from all sin, and enjoy the words of eternal life in this world, and eternal life in the world to come, even immortal glory;"

It is also interesting to note, and personally I don't think it is any coincidence, that the mother's side of the placenta (the organ the mother's body creates to house the baby and sustain its life) looks like a tree (for a bloody picture click here and for a non-bloody picture click here). The "fruit" of this placental tree is a baby.

This is Eve's gift to us... the promise of birth. That through our mothers, the daughters of Eve, all of God's children will partake of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and literally become the fruit of that tree. Through the power of God they will be born into this world through blood, water and the spirit and will be given a probationary time. During this probationary time it is the role of mothers and fathers to help their children to become worthy to pass through the second veil, the tree of life, through the water, blood, and spirit of Jesus Christ. This is Adam's gift to us---as the High Priest of this earth acting in authority for Jesus Christ--- the promise of re-birth.

In his talk "Equality Through Diversity" Elder M. Russell Ballard explained:

Our Heavenly Father assigned different responsibilities in mortality to men and women when we lived with Him as His spirit sons and daughters. To His sons He would give the priesthood and the responsibilities of fatherhood, and to His daughters He gave the responsibilities of motherhood, each with its attendant functions.

The creation of the world, the atonement of Jesus Christ, and the restoration of the gospel in the latter days through the Prophet Joseph Smith all have one unifying purpose: to allow all of the spirit children of our Eternal Father to obtain mortal bodies, and then, through the gift of moral agency, to follow the plan of redemption made possible by the Savior’s atonement. God prepared all of this for us that we might return to our heavenly home, clothed in immortality and eternal life, to live with Him as families.

Two Divine Stewardships

I've often heard women express pain over the fact the LDS church (and most religions in general) are so male centered-- only men hold the priesthood keys, there are much fewer women in the scriptures than men, and while we know we have a Heavenly Mother we don't hear much about her. These are questions that eat away at many LDS women's (and men's) hearts and make it hard for some of them to remain true to their faith. Yet when we remember that we have already passed through the first veil and are now working towards the second veil it makes much more sense why our world is so male centered.

Besides, who knows, if we could only glimpse into the pre-mortal world and see the other side of the veil would we see a world which was very female centered because the focus is on preparing children to go through the first veil? Would we see women working with their Heavenly Mother to prepare souls of mankind to receive their mortal bodies, teaching them their pre-mortal lessons, and guiding them to their earthly homes? Maybe.

We really don't know much about the pre-mortal world. Yet one thing we do know is that before we were born we received instruction that would prepare us for our individual labors in the Lord's vineyard. In D&C 138: 56 we read about the "noble and great ones" and how, "Even before they were born, they, with many others, received their first lessons in the world of spirits and were prepared to come forth in the due time of the Lord to labor in his vineyard for the salvation of the souls of men."

Given how incredible it is that women's bodies are able to create complete human beings, without their minds directing how it will happen, it seems possible to me that part of the "first lessons" women received in the pre-mortal world was how to create bodies and how to birth them. While their mortal minds don't remember how to do it, perhaps their eternal spirits do and it is a woman's eternal soul which directs and guides her body in the construction of the baby and oversees the process of labor and birth.

We also know that in the pre-mortal existence that Satan and a third of the host of heaven rejected God's plan to come to earth and receive mortal bodies (D&C 29:36). Because they were not faithful in keeping their first estate Satan and his third are the only ones out of God's children that will never pass through the first veil; no woman will ever create a body for them or shed her blood by bearing them into the world, nor will they ever have wives or children. This is one of the reasons that many of Satan's tactics are directed at women and at the structure which protects and guards the first veil... the family. Satan is doing everything in his power to convince women that their bodies, which are the gateway through the first veil, are dirty, ugly, imperfect, dysfunctional and of no importance. He is doing everything he can to distract and confuse women so that they abandon their responsibility as the guardians of life into this world. If he can destroy women's faith in their bodies and help them lose sight of the importance of the first veil---and the power and sanctity of conception, pregnancy and birth--- then he is well on his way to thwarting God's plan.

Satan is also trying to convince women that men's stewardship over the second veil is more important than their stewardship over the first veil and their role as what Valerie Hudson Cassler calls "the caretakers of light", referring to the great work that women do as mothers towards pointing children towards the light and love of Christ. In her book "Women in Eternity, Women of Zion" Cassler says:

"... there is a sequence to the stewardships which leads to misperception of the absolute equality of the stewardship. The caretakers of light, in their work as mothers, must perform their work for an individual before the caretakers of the Word [referring to men's priesthood oridance responsibility]... Because of this fact, the full drama of the work of the caretakers of light is muted. We don't see how some accepted the offering made by the caretakers of light, and thus the sacrifice of the caretakers of light seems common. Their very sacrifice in their work as mothers is concealed because of its perceived commonness. Pregnancy, labor, delivery and breastfeeding are concealed as far as their full drama and their full glory are concerned. The sacrifice of blood and water--- sometimes even the very sacrifice of life itself by the caretaker of light-- is usually not seen by the family or the community, but rather by a birth professional- a doctor or a midwife.

... We no longer see the drama and we value less the gateway and the sacrifice that brought us here. Even the caretakers of light themselves begin to view their works as mothers as ordinary, menial and dirty instead of the glorious stewardship it really is. Only young children seem to recognize the importance of the work of the caretakers of light and reward it with complete devotion." (pg, 149)

Women's stewardship over the gateway of life and their roles as mothers is not less important in the plan of salvation than the priesthood ordinance work men do. God has given both men and women great gifts and powers which must be respected and used with wisdom and righteousness. I believe that how women birth and how children come into this world matters deeply to God. I feel that He expects the processes of conception, pregnancy and birth to be treated with the same type of reverence and faith with which we approach priesthood ordinances. I also believe that He expects women to protect their wombs, honor their ability to give life, and to participate in cultural and medical practices which bear witness to the divinity and power of women's bodies and the birth process.

God has different plans for each of His children and each is a unique spirit so it makes sense that each child's birth will be different, each woman's body will be different, and every situation will be different. Yet no matter what the situation women can counsel with God and receive direct revelation concerning their bodies, their pregnancy, their labor and their birth. There are numerous examples of women in the scripture who turned to God to understand how, when and why they were going to give birth and God answered them with direct revelation. These birth stories are some of the few examples we have of women receiving personal and direct revelation from God. I believe that they teach us that God is very interested in birth and in the experiences women have while giving birth.

I also know from my own experience birthing my children that no child comes into this world unaccompanied and that God sends angels to be with them as they enter this world. I also know that God sends angels to laboring women to help them as they birth His children into the light of the world. The veil is thin for a woman in labor and if she is listening she is able to feel the power of God in an incredibly powerful way. For a few hours she becomes a wide open portal into heaven, foreordained from the foundations of the world to bring the children of heaven into this mortal world. What a great blessing it is that God has such faith in His daughters to entrust them with such a great power! It is just another testament to me that God loves His daughters just as much as He loves His sons and that they both have divine gifts which make His work possible.

This post was originally entitled "The Importance of Birth" and if you'd like to read the original post and the original comments you can go here.

My Favorite Holiday

The 4th of July is my favorite holiday... probably because it is also my birthday.

It is seriously the absolute best day to be born.

You get a parade, fireworks, barbecues, no school, no work, people don't forget it, and it is a holiday but no one else but you gets presents!

Since the 4th of July was on Sunday it felt like my birthday went on all week! I had so many wonderful things happen I just have to give them each their time in the sun. So here they are (not in any order)...

A few months ago I mentioned to my mother -in-law that when I was little I'd always wanted one of those cakes with a Barbie in the middle. She said that she'd always wanted to make one and well... my wish came true.

I was seriously giddy like a five-year-old. I loved it... even though it felt rather morbid cutting into her.

Then Jon made me this amazingly beautiful tortilla press. It almost looks too beautiful to use. Anyone have a fantastic recipe for whole wheat tortillas?

Asher loved the sparklers... until he burnt his finger.

Asher, Rose and my niece had a blast with the sidewalk chalk. They drew more on each other and other people than the sidewalk.

I got to meet two of the girls I am working on with the book with for the first time! They are even better than in real life. We had a blast and talked birth until we were exhausted. Heavenly.

I don't have a picture of all three of us.
This is just me and Busca (her blog name). She is amazing and if you get a minute to skim over her blog, it is absolutely beautiful.

I'm not getting paid to tell you about this (darn it) but I thought I'd tell you about Lime Ricki and the amazing swim suit I just got from there for my b-day. This is just about the best swim suit I've ever had... and trust me I've owned a lot of swim suits. I was really skeptical about buying a tankini but this one is long and tight and doesn't ride up at all. I've never felt so comfortable in a swim suit before-- maybe because it is the most modest and cutest one I've ever had. Now I need to go swimming!

No this isn't me but this is the suit I got... except i got the boy shorts instead of the briefs.
It looks really old fashioned with the shorts. Ooh, I love it.

Yet I think one the best things about the week was that my mom and her husband came up to visit and on my birthday my mom told me the story of when I was born. I don't think I'd ever heard it before and it was really sweet to hear about it and think about the experience she had bringing me into the world. I need to write it down because it is something I will always treasure.

So wonderful.
Hope you had a good Independence Day!

You Better Not Mess With Me... I Have a Powerful Allie

This message has already been circulating around on the "mommy blogs" I read and I was surprised when at least three or four of the women who posted it on their blog talked about how inadequate they felt as mothers.

Maybe it is because growing up I never wanted to be a mother, and so I'm already exceeding my expectations, but it surprised me that all these women, who in my eyes, are all exceptional mothers felt like they were falling short. I struggle a lot in my motherhood because it doesn't come natural for me-- I'm selfish, impatient, I have a temper, most days I forget to brush Asher's hair, when we go places my children are always out of control, I haven't mopped my kitchen floor in over a month (it is true), and I know my kids spend way too much time in front of the TV. Yet, I've never felt like I am falling short. I feel like God and my children know that I am learning and trying to do the best I can. In the end, I'm grateful that children (and God) are so willing to forgive and forget.

The thing I liked most about Elder Holland's talk was that he reminded me that my motherhood is a partnership with God. That gives me the chills to think about. How powerful to know that because I am doing His work God is my partner in giving life to and in raising my children. I know that in every decision that I make about motherhood-- starting with who to marry and make the father of my children, to where and how I should bring my children into the world, to how to nurture and admonish them, to how to prepare them for their eternal missions... God is my partner and I can turn to Him for power, direction, inspiration, and guidance.

I know that I've really benefited from reading the wonderful blog "Asking Jane" written by an LDS mother of 11 children. She is absolutely amazing and she constantly reminds me that motherhood is a spiritual calling and that I should rely more on God, the scriptures, and personal revelation for parenting advice than on books or next door neighbors (even though I have great neighbors ;). I love what she said on her interview with Bloom:

"In the end, I just did my best. I didn’t schedule time with each child. I absolutely loved spending time with my children. I genuinely did—so I think that for the most part, it just happened. I know it sounds unbelievable but I never really needed to get away. I loved taking one or two with me everywhere. I loved getting them in bed with me at night and reading. I couldn’t wait til they came home from school. I loved summer. They really had my whole heart and usually, that was enough."

It is that last part, "they really had my whole heart and usually, that was enough" that has really impacted me. I realize that the most important thing I can do for my children is 1) give them life and 2) love them with my whole heart, unconditionally... and that is really enough.

Do you notice that Asher's underwear is on backwards? He put it on himself and was so proud I didn't have the heart to tell him.

So Satan... just warning you but... you better not mess with me because, even though I make a lot of mistakes, I have the Omnipotent, Creator, and Lord of the Universe on my side! Ha, take that!