The Blooming Red Head

When I was little I used to pray every night that God would turn my hair turn a beautiful auburn color. It never happened. I think that God might be trying to make it up to me now by giving Rose the color hair I always wanted. Ever since she was born she has had alot of red in her hair but it would only show up in the right lighting. Lately her hair has been getting redder and redder and when I take her places people always call her "the cute little red head." I'm thinking that if she doesn't go auburn she at will at least be a strawberry blonde for sure.

Just proof that God always answers our prayers... somehow.

Oh, and Rose also learned her first baby sign today. I've been trying to teach her the sign for "milk" whenever she wants to nurse and I think today it clicked. She got really excited and started signing it over and over again. Jon was sitting next to me when she was eating and he told her "Good job Rosie, you can say milk" and she stopped nursing, sat straight up, looked up and him with a big smile on her face proudly made the sign for milk. Then she went right back to nursing. What a funny girl. I can't believe how grown up she is getting!

New Hair

So here is the moment you all have been waiting for...

But first here is what my hair looked like before.. It is sad the most recent picture I could find of me with my hair down is from way back at Rose's baby blessing in November. Just goes to show you how often I ever took the time to do it... thus one of the reasons it is now all gone.

I've pretty much had the same hair style since I was a Jr. in high school so it was quite the shock to see myself with super short hair. It is still taking me awhile to get use to but I really love. I especially love the fact that all I have to do is add gel and comb it.

Jon likes it. The first time he kissed me he laughed and said, "Woah, it feels like kissing a different woman." The first thing Asher said was, "Oooh, Mama hair pretty" and Rose just smiled and wanted to eat. So I guess it passes the family inspection.

It can also be "done" with the bangs down. This is a little sloppy but you get the idea. I'm still discovering lots of new things to do with it.

I've gotten lots of compliments on it but I don't know if it is just people being nice or if they really like it. But I don't really care... it is fun and it is the change I wanted. It really makes me feel like new person. It is strange how hair can make me feel so different... like I can do and be different things. Even though I know short hair draws attention to your face I'm feeling less self conscious about my leprosy and I feel like I this hair cut makes me feel light, free and at peace with myself.

I'm enjoying it.

Going Short... Way Short

Tomorrow I have an appointment at a salon to go get my hair cut... really, really short.

I'm thinking like Hallie Berry, Audrey Hepburn short.

Something kind of like this

or this



or this

The top one is my favorite and her face shape is about the same as mine so I'm hoping it would look good on me. I am just really tired of my same old hair style. I usually just pull my hair up every day because I don't care enough to blow dry it. I hardly ever wear it down because I'm just not very picky about my hair and it is usually very low on my priorities. Beisdes... I'm really not that good at "doing" my hair.

So what I am hoping to get is a super easy and low matinence hair style. One that I can shower, put gel in it, brush and maybe put in a head band and be done. Does such a thing exist. I'm hoping it does.

I figure that I will either LOVE it or HATE having short hair, but at this point in my life I just need a dramatic change and I'm ready to take my chances.

Have you ever cut your hair short? How did it turn out?

Modern Dancing

For the last few months I've been going to a modern dance class once a week. It makes my body so sore but my heart and spirit so happy.

I danced ballet and jazz when I was younger but when I was about 12 my dance teacher died of a brain aneurysm. It was traumatic for me and I stopped dancing. My mom tried to get me back into a ballet class, but at 14 I was way too self-conscious about my body to go anywhere in pink tights and a leotard. It wasn't until my sophomore year in college that I got up the nerve to take a ballet class. I worked really hard and by the end of the year I had reached my childhood goal of "going on point". I discovered that I was really, really bad at dancing on toe shoes...and that ballet wasn't really my strong point (no pun intended ;).

Then in my junior of college year I discovered Modern Dance and fell in love with it. I think that if I had discovered Modern Dance my freshman or sophomore year of college I would have majored in it. I loved it that much. I still kind of wish that I had majored in Dance Education. Oh well.

What I love about modern dance is that it is all about individuality and creativity. It doesn't matter what type or size of body you have, how well you can do the steps, or how strong or flexible you are. Sure those things help make you a better dancer, but what really matters is that you discover the connection between your body and your soul and are willing to share it with others. I think the scripture in D&C 88:15 explains this concept by saying," And the spirit and the body are the soul of man". I think that is what makes dance such a powerful medium. It is the only art form where the artist is able to share not only their spirit with you, but also their body... and when those two are complete unified it is the most beautiful form of art because you get a glimpse into the soul of that person.

Dancing makes me feel better about myself and my body in a way that no other exercise or activity does. I once heard someone in church say that a God (I add in a Goddess) is a man (or woman) who is in perfect control of his (or her) body. That rings true to my soul and when I dance I feel my complete self; my whole being feels merged---my mind is connected to my body, my body is connected to my soul, and my soul is connected to my mind. It is a powerful feeling and one that only comes when my body and spirit have pushed themselves to their utmost physical and spiritual limits-- then in my exhaustion, my rhythm and my creativity I feel like my soul begins to shine and I get a glimpse of who I really am. I love it... it's an addicting feeling.

I guess that sounds a little strange... but if you've ever experienced that complete merging of your body and spirit (whether through running, sports, childbirth, intimacy, or experiencing nature) then you know what I'm talking about.

I hope I never stop dancing. I'd love to be one of those 75 year old women who is still moving, and by then I hope my body and mind will be very merged and that I'll have a powerful soul that I am in perfect control of.

Just for your enjoyment here is a video of my last modern dance final in college. It was a choreography class and I got to make up the movement. Jon and I had only been married for a few months and it was so much fun to work on this together. A few weeks ago we thought we'd try to see if we could still do the the "lifty whirly move" that we do here... we can't. After two babies my abs are definitely not as strong as they once were... I guess I'll have to work on that.
Also, remember this is modern dance... that means that you don't need to have music (you might want to turn your volume up so you can hear what we say) and it is all about creativity, movement, and relationships between people and not just looking pretty.

My favorite part is the "passion drive" part-- where I get to throw a tantrum. That sort of movement feels so good sometimes.

9 Months of Rosie

Rose turned nine months last week.

I really can't believe it.

It honestly feels like she was just born

but now she's been alive outside of me for longer than she was alive inside of me

and it is has gone by way too fast.

She is really interested in moving lately. She hasn't quite figured out how to crawl but she can scoot and wiggle to just about where ever she wants to go. I'm realizing that I don't vacuum nearly enough because she ends up gagging on the grossest things. She is also the pickiest eater. The only baby food she will eat is bananas, pears and applesauce. When you give her anything else she gags on it, throws it up, or spits it out. I'm pretty certain I'm going to have to nurse this girl for a long time just to make sure she gets some sort of nutrition! I hope that this picky eater thing is just a phase and that it isn't a sign of things to come. Oh, and her hair is turning REALLY red. I need to get a good picture of it because is some light it looks redder than at other times. It makes me really happy. What could be cuter than a little red headed girl named Rose... so perfect.

All in all, she is such a joy in our lives. I can't imagine life without her. I've been amazed at how my heart has stretched bigger than I ever dreamed it would to make room for her. I think that is one of the gifts of loving people is that they fill voids in your life you never even knew you had.

I was talking to one of my friends the other day and I was commenting on how Rose's little personality has really started to shine through lately. I said, " She is incredibly sweet and easy going but she very determined and opinionated. When she wants something done... she does it and when she has an opinion about something... she lets you know it."

My friend smiled at me and said, "So she's kind of like her mom then."

I couldn't help but laugh... I guess she is.

A Big Pile

Well Asher is pretty much potty trained. True, he still hasn't gotten the nack for going #2 in the potty yet, but he has only had about 3 accidents in the last two weeks, so I think that is pretty good.

As I traded out his stash of cloth diapers for his "big boy" underwear it got me wondering just how many diapers I'd actually taken on and off that little boy's bottom in the last two and half years.

Here is what I came up with...

He is two years and five months old= 883 days

On average he has used about 5 diapers a day since he was born
(He used ALOT more than that when he was an infant but tapered down to two or three at the end, so 5 a day is a pretty conservative average)

That means he has gone through at least 4,413 diapers.

The disposable diapers I buy cost about $11 a package and contain, on average, about 50 diapers.

This means if I'd used only disposable diapers for him I would have bought at least 89 packages of diapers and spent more than $971 in the last two and half years.

I took a minute to imagine what 4,413 diapers and $971 looks like.

That is one big pile of expensive poop.

And if I'd only been using disposables for Rose in a year and half that number would be double-- over 8,822 non-biodegradable diapers and about $2,000... literally thrown in the garbage.

Just another reason I'm finding I love cloth diapers.

Leprosy

I didn't have a single pimple until I was senior in High School. All those years of Jr. High and High School I counted my lucky stars and inwardly gloated at all the other adolescents whose faces broke out like patches of raspberries. Yet I guess I got punished for my teenage cockiness because I started to get bad acne when I was a sophomore in college. Over the last several years my face has gone through various stages of better, almost better, semi-horrible, and time to wear a paper bag over your head horrible. Currently I'm approaching the bag over my head stage and I have "leprosy" all over my face. It is painful, blotchy, red and ugly and I hate it.

I've really been struggling with this lately and sometimes it wears on my soul. I know that I shouldn't let it bother me as much as it does, but I can't help but notice other women's beautiful, clear, even colored skin. It makes me want to scream when I hear them complaining about having one or two zits. I wish sometimes they could understand how lucky they are...that they don't have days when they can't kiss their children because their face is too painful or won't use public restrooms because it means they'd have to look at themselves in the large, brightly lit mirror. I would trade them in a heart beat.

I think what is hardest about my "leprosy" is that I am embarrassed to have it at this stage of my life. Acne is something for Jr. High kids and teenagers, not adult women who have two children and a husband. I'm sure it bothers me more than anyone else and I know Jon doesn't care. Once, when we were dating, I asked him if my acne bothered him or if he was embarrassed by it. He looked at me with a confused look and asked, "What acne?". I could tell he wasn't pretending. He honestly had never noticed, even though it was really bad at the time, and didn't know what I was making a big deal about. He told me that even if I really did get leprosy (the real type) one day and my face was covered in boils and my nose fell off, he would still think I was beautiful. I knew then that I could love him forever.

I guess in a way my "leprosy" has also been a bit of a blessing because it has really humbled me and given my sympathy for other people. I have to admit that I was quite the vain teenager and was really judgmental about other people's looks. Now I am quite the opposite. Whenever I see anyone with some sort of physical defect or malady, whether it be acne, scars, extra weight, facial hair, or whatever... instead of judging I feel sympathy. I know what it feels like to cringe when you look in the mirror....to meet someone new and feel like the only thing that they notice about you is your flaws.... and to have those days when you wish that it was realistic for you to wear a paper bag over your head and not crash your car.

I realize that there are LOTS of people who have to deal with much worse things... but still I struggle with it. I've tried lots of different methods and nothing has really helped. Large doses of daily antibiotics seem to make some dent in it, but they do awful things to the rest of my body so I want to avoid that. I'd really like to find some sort of diet change, herbal or natural remedy that would work, so if you know of anything I am getting sort of desperate.

Sometimes when I start of feel bad about my face I just remember NieNie and her strength. This video made me cry, if you haven't seen it is worthwhile. I especially love the part when she says, " I am not my body." I need to remember that what my face looks like doesn't determine the quality of my soul. Gee... why is that hard to remember sometimes?

This Family's Got Talent!

From this post and my last one it may seem like our family is always performing but in all honesty these two performances are the grand total of ALL the performances we've done in the last two years.

We previously did this for our Ward Talent show and it was a big hit but we didn't have anyone video tape it. I was really happy when they asked us to do it for the Stake Talent show because then we could get it on video. Rose was fussy right before she "went on" but as soon as she was on stage she was perfect. I think she might have a little bit of Diva in her somewhere! The first time Asher did great but this time he was really shy. I think it is because he didn't know very many people and it was a bigger audience than for our Ward Talent show. Still, it turned out really cute even with him being shy. They got quite the laughs.

Our Reenactment of the First Relief Society Meeting

I've been waiting to post about this till I got the pictures and it has just about been killing me.

Every year in March LDS women around the world commemorate the birthday of the Relief Society which was organized by the prophet Joseph Smith on March 17, 1842 in Nauvoo, Illinois. In the past our local Relief Society has just had a nice dinner and a simple program... but this year someone got the brilliant idea to reenact the original meeting. I got SUPER excited about this and volunteered to write the script and organize the actors.

As I started to write the script I realized that I wanted it to be historically accurate and that I wanted the actors to say the words that the real people would really have said. So being the overachiever.... super nerd... that I am, I made a trip to Salt Lake City to look at Eliza R. Snow's (the original secretary) minutes taken at the first meeting. The church has them digitized at the new Church History Library and it was so incredible to be able to see Eliza R. Snow's handwriting and read what was said that day.

I copied her notes word for word and then wrote my script making sure that the right people said and did the right things. In almost all the cases (I had to make a few exceptions for the times they used parliamentary procedure) everything that people say is exactly what Eliza said they said.

Getting everything organized was a lot of work but I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it.

Besides... I got to be Emma.

And Jon was Joseph...

Doesn't he make the perfect, most handsome Joseph?
I told him that if he was a better actor he could totally be in all the church movies.
It was kind of strange kissing him when he was in costume :)

This really was such an amazing project for me and it turned out to be an incredible experience for our Relief Society. I think one woman, who was one of the actors, explained it best. She said, "It felt like Joseph and Emma and all the rest were really here. Like they were standing in the background watching us."

It really did feel like they were there and it is kind of hard to describe how beautiful it felt. We had our own little piece of history.

Researching, writing, planning and participating in this reenactment really strengthened my testimony of the Relief Society and of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. I realized what incredible people these early Saints were and how my life has been so blessed because of their courage and faith. I am so grateful to have such a great spiritual heritage. It makes me proud to know that I am helping to carry on the work that these women began more than 150 years ago. It is just as important today as it was then and seeing what they went through has made me a more dedicated follower of Jesus Christ.

If you would like to read the full script that I wrote you can access it here or email me at heatherlady at gmail.com for a copy. You are free to use the script for your own use as long as you give credit to where you got it from. In fact... I hope you do use it because learning about the incredible history and mission of the Relief Society is really powerful and helps women understand that as Emma Smith said, "... sisters, we are going to do something extraordinary!"

If you want to see some professional pictures they took of us go here

Oh, and just because I'm kind of proud of it... I made my dress. I've always wanted to sew a civil war era dress, call me crazy, and I figured this might be my only valid excuse to do it. It was so much fun to wear!

A Belated Mother's Day Post

I know I've been posting a plethora of videos lately, but I can't resist sharing this.

If you have in the slightest bit of nerd in you... or have ever taken a biology class... I think you will love this tribute to motherhood. I think this guy looks a little like my brother...



Thanks to Rixa for sharing it.

Babies

In what was a rare "girl's night out" my friend and I went to go see the new movie "Babies" on Friday night. " I've been so excited to see this ever since I saw the trailer several months ago. I don't really know why... maybe because I have a my own little nursling, because I am mildly obsessed with mothers and babies, or because it is just such an incredible idea to follow four babies from different places in the world through their first year of life.

The movie didn't disappoint me... I LOVED it. I loved watching how different each baby was born into the world-- they only showed snippets of labor for two of the babies but had newborn shots for each of them-- and how different their lives were. I think my favorite baby was the Mongolian baby because he was SO incredibly cute and he had a little brother who was about Asher's age. I felt like I could totally relate to the poor Mongolian mother who had these two crazy babies on her hands. At one point there is a clip of the older Mongolian brother whacking his little baby brother with a scarf. After each hit he stops and looks at the camera to see if he will get in trouble. He doesn't so he keeps doing it. I just laughed and thought "Ha, that is just like my house. I guess toddlers aren't much different in other parts of the world."

In fact, that is what I felt the strongest message of this movie was... that no matter where they live in this world-- be it a mud hut or a 30 story skyscraper-- no matter how they are dressed--- be it naked or in expensive designer clothing-- no matter where they learn to crawl-- be it in the dirt or on carpet-- babies are babies and they each have the same divine potential.

I also found myself feeling such a kinship and connection to the mothers who lived in other parts of the world. I felt that even though we wouldn't be able to speak the same language if we were to meet in real life we would be able to relate to each other. Our children would play together and we would be able to laugh and cry over the same milestones, the same mistakes and the same joys. I realized that no matter how a mother is dressed-- be it topless (like the African mother) or in expensive high heels-- no matter what our daily jobs are-- be it working in an office or milking a cow-- no matter where our children are born-- be it in a home or in the intensive care--- mothers are mothers and we each have the same divine potential and responsibility.

The other things that really struck me about the movie was that the Mongolian and the African baby spent most of their lives outside. There wasn't a clear cut line between "inside" and "outside" and their lives naturally followed into one and out of the other. On the other hand the American and the Japanese babies spent most of their time inside and going to the "outside" was always a big adventure complete with stroller, blankets, shoes and sunglasses. I'm not making a judgment call about which was better but it was very interesting and made me want to make sure my kids get more unscheduled time outside to explore and get dirty.

I also was struck by the fact that the Japanese and American babies didn't have siblings. I know this might just be because these were first children, but I still thought it was interesting and felt that it reflected different mentalities and life styles between the four families.

Everything about this movie intrigued me and if you can believe it this movie made me even more passionate about babies and mothers. I could talk about it for hours... so I better stop now and just say that I loved it and think you might too.

Feeling the Need to Explain Myself

While I really love blogging and love the conversations and ideas that are shared across them, a blog is a tricky thing. I've found that it is hard to write about things you are passionate about...like birth... on a blog because you never know who is reading what you wrote (unless they leave a comment) or if you were able to communicate your idea across to them in the right way. It is much easier to talk about things in person because then you both have the opportunity to clarify, to see facial expressions, tones of voice, and make sure you understand the other person's viewpoint. That is harder on a blog and I wish that I was a good enough writer that I could express myself so that I could be understood perfectly.

After some readers left heated comments on my guest post about birth and chickens and cows I've been worrying that, in my passion and zest for birth and empowered motherhood, I may have offended, hurt, or alienated some of my readers. In one comment someone claimed that I, "...often make comments that belittle or demean a hospital birth as the 'second class citizen' of births. After reading this post it seems to me that only those that are too scared, too weak, too unhealthy, or uninformed choose this 'lower' way of birthing."

This has really been haunting me because it makes me feel like... MUD... to think that I may have hurt anyone's feelings or discredited their birth experience. That is the LAST, the absolutely LAST thing, that I would want to convey to anyone. I've been agonizing over the idea that someone misunderstood me and is feeling belittled or ostracized because of what I wrote.

In all honesty I probably shouldn't have put a link to that post on this blog. When I wrote the post I asked the writer of the Gift of Giving Life blog if I could post it there because I knew it didn't "fit" on this blog. It isn't anything that is going in the book but I knew that it wasn't written for a general audience. I wrote it with a "birth advocacy" audience in mind. The purpose of the post wasn't to make a statement against hospital births-- or to make women who have had c-sections feel bad-- but to illustrate that women have a divine inner strength and knowledge about birth. I wanted to get the point across that doctors, midwives, doulas and other childbirth advocates need to trust and respect women's divine ability to give birth and that our practices in hospital-- and home-- births should reflect that. We need to be careful about when and how we use interventions because they affect women and babies, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Looking back I really shouldn't have linked to it, but like my high school journalism teacher liked to say, "Writing is an act of ego" and I guess I was a little too vain and wanted to share it with everyone.

Even though I am obviously passionate about home birth (and a part of me wishes that every woman could get a little taste of how incredible it is to witness a baby born in a home) I am most absolutely and positively, not anti-hospital birth, not anti-epidural, and not even anti-cesarean section. I truly believe that those are all wonderful advances in medicine and that they save a lot of women and babies lives. I realize that what is right for me is not right for everyone; that the "ultimate experience" of giving birth is going to be different for each woman and each baby.

One of the most important things that I have learned as I have been collecting birth stories for the book I am helping with is that God gives each woman different revelation about how her baby needs to be born. We've collected some really incredible stories for the book from women who have had intense spiritual experiences delivering babies with c-sections, epidurals, inductions, natural, at home, unassisted, and even women whose children needed to come to their home via adoption. I've seen that God has a different plan for each of His children and that sometimes a baby needs to be born a certain way in order for mother's and babies to learn important lessons. It is obvious that there is no one "right" way for a baby to be born and that natural births don't have the "corner on the market" for spiritual experiences during childbirth.

Ultimately, God is control of where, when and how babies get to this earth and our job is to trust Him and learn the lessons He wants us to learn from the experience. For some women and babies the lessons He want them to learn come through having home births, for others c-sections. We can't really judge another person's experience because we don't know what God's plan for them is or what type of experience they need. I don't think it really matters how or where a woman births, as long as she is counseling with her Heavenly Father, relying on the spirit, and trying to make decisions out of faith and not fear. Those are the important things.

That is my honest and sincere opinion for the deepest part of my soul. If sometimes I come across as being over zealous in my opinion of home birth, please forgive me... it is a hard burden to be passionate about something.

On Chicks and Cows

I finally got the video of my chicks hatching uploaded! It is in segments and there is kind of a long blurp of Asher running around our backyard digging in the dirt, showing off his new underpants, and saying cute things like "Cookie Mauker" and "Scripture Powder" (ie. Cookie Monster and Scripture Power). Oh... and please... ignore the brief martial skiff... we aren't perfect by any means.

Also I wrote a guest post at the Gift of Giving Life about what I learned about birth from watching my chickens hatch... and a really great story about cows.

Food, Inc.

If any of you missed the PBS broadcast of Food, Inc. this week you can still see it on-line here until tomorrow night at midnight.

I think this movie might be, or has the possibility to be, to the industrialized food industry what the book "The Jungle" by Upton Sinclair was to the meat packaging industries in the early 1900's. It is really so crazy that we have NO idea how our food is made or where it comes from. I've already been on the "edge" of radically changing my family's eating habits for quite some time and I think this movie defiantly just put me over the "edge".

This is really worth your time.... and I'd love to hear what you think about it.

I'm Not Really Sure if it Counts...

but today is Asher's 4th... maybe 5th... day of wearing underpants without an accident.

Can you see my smile.

I am still hesitant to declare him "potty trained" because as soon as I do I know he'll have a relapse on me.

And I still haven't gotten him to go #2 on the potty yet. He still wears a diaper at night time and usually goes #2 in it first thing in the morning. He almost went once but it ended up in A LOT of screaming, crying and some half in and half out of the toilet. I'm not really going to push it because I'm sure that eventually he'll decide to overcome his fear of pooping on the potty.

More than you wanted to know?

Just wait... one day you will have a toddler and all of sudden his/her bowel movements will determine the course of your day.

Then you will understand my glee.

They Hatched!

I'm proud to introduce...

4

baby chicks

as the newest members of our chicken family!

The first one started hatching last Friday night. When I went out to check on them Saturday morning I lifted up the hen and much to my surprise there was a fluffy little chick under her!

It was a wonderful way to start the morning out.

The rest of the day was so much fun because each time we went out to check there was a new chick or one was in the process of hatching.

The birth nut in me LOVED it and Asher was pretty giddy too. I only got to see one of them actually break out of the shell, but I didn't get that one on video because I was afraid I'd miss it if I ran back for the camera. I got some of it on camera but I am having technical difficulties getting it posted, so I will try to do that this weekend if at all possible.

It was really incredible to watch these little babies be born and I found myself learning more beautiful truths about birth and life (which will be have to be saved for a another post).

Life is really such a miracle.

It was kind of sad that three of the eggs didn't hatch but I guess they must not have been fertilized... or were just duds.

It is also really cute to watch our hen mother her chicks. She has definitely fallen into the "Mother Hen" roll and is SO protective of her little babies. She is always clucking at them to make sure they stay near her and when one of them wanders away she chases after it. It is rather sweet. I think my favorite thing is to open up the coop and see her sitting on her nest with all the little chicks under her. Her body just wiggles and squirms with the wiggly chicks who every once in awhile pop their heads out from under he wings. She is a natural mother.

I think we will keep doing this egg hatching thing every year, if we can, because I think it is an incredible way for Asher, and eventually Rose, to learn about the miracle of life, birth, creation, and how to be good stewards of the earth...not to mention it was SO fun.

The next challenge is going to be trying to figure out who each chicks real biological mother is. They all have the same dad but I'm afraid we might have some strange genetic combinations.

My First Adventrue in Web Design

I just designed my first website... from the bottom up... and I am really excited about it.

You can see it here

It is the website for the Doula Association I belong to and I think it will really help to get the word out about doulas in our community. If you know of anyone in my area who might want a doula PLEASE pass this website on to them!

I'd love to get your honesty opinion about it. Is it aesthetically pleasing? Easy to read and understand? Easy to navigate? Do you feel like you understand what a doula is and what they do after reading it? I'd love some feedback on it.

It was really fun to make and I think it would be fun to take a web design class sometime so that I could do the really fancy stuff. Maybe someday.

By the way... I think my chicks might be hatching soon. This morning one of the eggs had a little crack in it, like someone had pecked their beak at it! So maybe this weekend I'll have some new babies.

What Do You Think About Home School?

I don't necessarily agree or disagree with this cartoon, but I thought it brought up and interesting debate.
I am really interested to know people's honest opinions and experiences about how they made or are making their decision to school their children. So if this cartoon sparks something in you... please share.

Several months ago a friend invited me to go to with her to a workshop about how to home school your children. I've toyed around with the idea of home schooling my children but I've never been to dead set on it. I am a bit... okay a lot... intimidated by the idea. Yet then there is a part of me that gets so excited about it. So I went with her just to see what this home school thing is all about.

During our break I was in a group of experienced home school moms and I told them they had 5 minutes to convince me to be a home school mom. They did a pretty good job. They all spoke of how wonderful their teenagers were and how versatile they were. How they could interact really well with all sorts of people-- little children, their peers and adults-- and hadn't ever gone through the rebellious teenager phase. They also spoke about how much fun it was to home school and about what a great community of home schooling families there is in our area.Yet I think that their most convincing argument for me was:

1. Several of the moms (at least 1/3rd) had been trained as school teachers and had worked in the schools for several years. They had made the decision to home school their children because they knew that if they wanted to freedom to teach like they wanted, and if they wanted their children to get the best, absolutely the best education they would have to get it at home.
   

This argument really resonated with me as a doula because as a doula you get to see so many different ways to birth and almost all the doulas I know choose to give birth at home. I think this is because after seeing all the different possibilities for how to birth they come to realize that if they want the freedom to birth how they want then they need to have their baby at home.

There is something so innately holy and beautiful about the home and in a day in age when the family is so under attack I sort of like the idea of keeping my children tied closely to their family and to their home-- spiritually, physically and mentally.

Yet I do have some concerns about home schooling. I feel kind of strongly about public education and about making sure all children, no matter their situation, have a good education. I feel like taking my children out of public school would be a bit selfish because I could use the energy towards making public schools a good experience for all children. Also, I'm afraid of getting "mother burn out". Already, I sometimes fantasize about how nice it will be to send my children away for a good part of every day so that I have time for myself and time pursue some of my personal pursuits. Yet, then I remember that there really is no other job more important than being a mother and that the most important work I can do is to teach and lead my children to do what is good and right.

Basically.... I haven't decided on how I want to educate my children. I know I still have a couple of years before I have to make that decision, but I feel like something as important as how your kids are educated should be given a lot of thought. I think I am going to attempt a home school pre-school and see how it goes. I'll just take it one step at a time because... really, the idea of home schooling kind of scares the pants off of me. Yet then again so did the idea of having a home birth, but I conquered that one with God's help and gave birth pretty much fear free both times. I have no doubt that if God tells me that home school is what is right for my family that I will be able to do it and conquer my fears.

But... I haven't asked Him yet so I'm not quite sure what we'll do. Still I'd like to get other people's thoughts about schooling. How did you make the decision to educate your children?

If you home school your children (or are planning to) what are your reasons?

If you public school your children (or are planning to) what are your reasons?

Life Tastes Good

Sometimes I can't believe that these two little ragamuffins actually exist... and that by some great miracle I get to be their mother.

Since this is the place where I archive all the photos and videos I don't want to loose in case our house burns down I am posting some videos of Rose laughing, crying and clapping. She really has the best laugh...half the time you can't tell if she is laughing or crying. I wonder if that is how it will be when she is older? I kind of hope so. But if not I don't want to forget what it sounds like, nor do I want to forget her sweet little cry, nor how her face lights ups when she sees she is getting attention for clapping. It makes me kind of sad she is getting so big!

Gone Broody

About two weeks ago our little black silkie hen went "broody", which means she stopped laying her own eggs and wanted to sit on her nest all day. When a hen goes broody it is because she wants to incubate and hatch some chicks. Most modern chicken breeds have had the "broodiness" and "motherliness" bred out of them because they aren't desirable traits for chickens you want to get the maximum egg laying capacity out of. Silikies though still have the genetics to be really good mothers and are some of the best "brooders".

So when our silkie went broody I was really excited because I've been wanting to hatch some of our own eggs this Spring and get little chicks. I had her sit on golf balls and ping pong balls for a few days to make sure that she was serious about being a mother and wouldn't get up and desert her nest.

She remained faithful and so about a week ago I moved her into her own little coop away from the other chickens and gave her 7 eggs to sit on. She has been siting on the eggs for about a week now and I am starting to get really excited. I just hope that some of them hatch. I might try "candling" some of them in a few days to see if I can see any developing embryo's', but I've realized that broody chickens are kind of like laboring women and that they do best if just leave them alone... the more you mess with them the more likely the chances are of something going wrong. So, maybe I'll just leave her alone and let her stay in her rhythm... or maybe I'll be like an annoying nurse and keep "checking" her to see if the eggs are making progress. It would be really cool if we could see the little chickens developing inside!

Check back in about two weeks for some exciting egg hatching... hopefully... Jon might be out of town so he's made me promise I'll get it on video!