I didn't have a single pimple until I was senior in High School. All those years of Jr. High and High School I counted my lucky stars and inwardly gloated at all the other adolescents whose faces broke out like patches of raspberries. Yet I guess I got punished for my teenage cockiness because I started to get bad acne when I was a sophomore in college. Over the last several years my face has gone through various stages of better, almost better, semi-horrible, and time to wear a paper bag over your head horrible. Currently I'm approaching the bag over my head stage and I have "leprosy" all over my face. It is painful, blotchy, red and ugly and I hate it.
I've really been struggling with this lately and sometimes it wears on my soul. I know that I shouldn't let it bother me as much as it does, but I can't help but notice other women's beautiful, clear, even colored skin. It makes me want to scream when I hear them complaining about having one or two zits. I wish sometimes they could understand how lucky they are...that they don't have days when they can't kiss their children because their face is too painful or won't use public restrooms because it means they'd have to look at themselves in the large, brightly lit mirror. I would trade them in a heart beat.
I think what is hardest about my "leprosy" is that I am embarrassed to have it at this stage of my life. Acne is something for Jr. High kids and teenagers, not adult women who have two children and a husband. I'm sure it bothers me more than anyone else and I know Jon doesn't care. Once, when we were dating, I asked him if my acne bothered him or if he was embarrassed by it. He looked at me with a confused look and asked, "What acne?". I could tell he wasn't pretending. He honestly had never noticed, even though it was really bad at the time, and didn't know what I was making a big deal about. He told me that even if I really did get leprosy (the real type) one day and my face was covered in boils and my nose fell off, he would still think I was beautiful. I knew then that I could love him forever.
I guess in a way my "leprosy" has also been a bit of a blessing because it has really humbled me and given my sympathy for other people. I have to admit that I was quite the vain teenager and was really judgmental about other people's looks. Now I am quite the opposite. Whenever I see anyone with some sort of physical defect or malady, whether it be acne, scars, extra weight, facial hair, or whatever... instead of judging I feel sympathy. I know what it feels like to cringe when you look in the mirror....to meet someone new and feel like the only thing that they notice about you is your flaws.... and to have those days when you wish that it was realistic for you to wear a paper bag over your head and not crash your car.
I realize that there are LOTS of people who have to deal with much worse things... but still I struggle with it. I've tried lots of different methods and nothing has really helped. Large doses of daily antibiotics seem to make some dent in it, but they do awful things to the rest of my body so I want to avoid that. I'd really like to find some sort of diet change, herbal or natural remedy that would work, so if you know of anything I am getting sort of desperate.
Sometimes when I start of feel bad about my face I just remember NieNie and her strength. This video made me cry, if you haven't seen it is worthwhile. I especially love the part when she says, " I am not my body." I need to remember that what my face looks like doesn't determine the quality of my soul. Gee... why is that hard to remember sometimes?
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Extra Vergin Coconut oil. It has to be the really good kind. A little bit expensive, but it lasts forever. Rub it all over your face, don't worry it won't clog your pores. It has anti-bacterial properties and will soothe your face and keep it from getting dry. It might make it worse at first as it draws out all the bad stuff from your face, but then it will get smooth, blemish free, and you will glow. (Hopefully) It worked for me!! I used to use it before bed and when I woke up in the morning but now I just do it at night because it makes my makeup wear funny during the day. Good luck! Let me know how it works for you.
Heather, I know EXACTLY how you feel!
So let me expound a bit on skin.
Essentially, all acne is derived from two main sources: Bacteria and oil.
Let's talk Bacteria.
We know Bacteria are everywhere at all times. When certain B's get into your skin or even TOUCH it, often your skin goes into "fight off the invader mode" and attempts to 'catch' the bad stuff where it has made contact with your virgin skin. Which B's set off your alarm is not something I'm prepared to discuss. but what you can do- that's the important part.
For a bacterial based acne, do the following things:
1. change your pillow case RIGHT now! (you rub your face all over it at night and if there was even a sampling of the bad B on your face before you went to bed, it's now all over your pillow.
2. When you wash your face off, use a new washcloth every single time. Prep, wash, and rinse with water only- use the washcloth to dry off. If your receiving towel is clean, you have less instance of exposure to the old B.
3. Use a toner. Toner's (AKA astringent) are specially designed to regulate your skin's ph level. If your skin is out of whack on a chemical level, no wonder you keep breaking out. Let me illustrate this concept for you:
You lived in Idaho your whole life until you went to Utah for school. Utah has a different ecological system than Idaho- so the place your skin grew up in, you no longer inhabit. Your skin has not adapted to fit Utah. So, help it with a toner. And a moisturizer.
Which brings me to skin problem possibility no.2:
Oil.
If you have oily skin, your body is making more oil than it needs. The oil builds up under the skin, creating large balls of oil that your skin cannot get out fast enough. They get infected- voila! A brand new, very painful subcutaneous cyst that is pressing in every direction on all the little nerve endings all around your skin. OUCH!!!
If you have dry skin, your body is not making enough oil, so your skin is holding onto as much oil as it can, creating pools under a smaller layer of skin, that get infected and -presto! A brand new group of zits that are painful because they are all connected.
OR ANY COMBINATION OF THE ABOVE!
What you can do is:
1. Moisturize. Seriously. USE A GOOD ONE. Natural oils are fine, but a non-oil, water-based one is best for oily skin. If you put more moisture INTO your skin than your skin is making, the skin WILL STOP MAKING SO MUCH on it's own. Your body can tell how it's being moisturized. Use the ability to adapt with moisturizer. Your friend is right, your skin WILL get worse before it gets better, because that's your skin adjusting to the new moisture it's all the sudden receiving. take 2-3 weeks. It WILL get better.
So, in a nutshell, just to review:
1. Wash your face every morning (to remove slobber and pillow gunk)
2. toner helps balance your skin's Ph.
3. MOISTURIZE!
4. Protect your face from the elements with a foundation. I know this sucks. but if you do it, the bad B WILL STICK TO SOMETHING OTHER THAN YOUR SKIN!
5. Wash your face at night (to remove bad B and other gunk)
6. toner helps soothe the skin for the night.
7. MOISTURIZE! you can do MAJOR moisturizing at night- your skin is resting and can absorb much better.
and last, make sure you are using a CLEAN pillowcase
and when you dry off your face from washing it, use a clean washcloth every time!
let me know if you need help!
Ashley (925) 961-7634
Oh Heather, I'm so sorry. I know how hard it is to struggle with the flaws in that reflection. You are such an amazing woman. And someday we'll all have bodies made whole and perfect again. What a wonderful thing to look forward to. :-)
In the meantime, I know I sound like a broken record, but you might try increasing your magnesium. Raw, unsalted almonds would give you both magnesium and vitamin E. I'm also seeing a lot of buzz on google about zinc and acne. Pumpkin seeds and sesame seeds would give you a shot of zinc and magnesium simultaneously. And do you take any fish oil or other Omega-3 supplements? Good luck!
I don't know how natural this is, but I really liked Acne Free. I picked it up at Costco, but I've seen smaller packages of it at every drug store. It's a lot like proactive but less expensive and easier to find. Good luck.
Lots of good advice here. I also didn't have acne in high school and then in college and beyond have struggled with it off and on. When I cut out most dairy from my diet, I saw a big improvement. It wasn't right away but I rarely have a breakout now. I also noticed for me that using a mineral powder foundation instead of liquid seemed to help too. It goes on much lighter but still covers well. Then I use a little oil free cover up when needed.
Good luck!
Thank you so much ladies! I really appreciate all the ideas. I'll start implementing them and see how I do. Thanks for the encouragement!
Heather, I must say, you have a group of "brilliant" followers! My fans tell me things like "put ear wax on your cold sore." Ha ha, okay, maybe it would work, but I don't think I could seriously ever do it.
I have just one more suggestion and it's more for fun...have you ever tried biomeridian testing or foot zoning? Both are natural homeopathic things. I can't make a real recommendation because I have only done foot zoning once and though I loved it, I really don't have many physical problems for people to work on so I couldn't justify paying for it. We are taking Mialee and Jason's Mom to try out biomeridian testing next month. We found a place that is actually quite cheap...They are supposed to be able to test and see what your body is deficient in and then offer supplement drops to compensate. We'll see if it's worth it or not. But I do find it interesting!
Great ideas! I've noticed when I cut sugar out of my diet, my complextion improves.
So I don't have any advice for ya, but I gotta tell ya as someone who sees you fairly frequently, I really have never noticed it. I think we are all especially critical of ourselves, while others just see us as beautiful wonderful people. And that you are!
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