Rosie Roo KaChoo

Jon has taken to calling Rose, "Rosie Roo KaChoo" and it is starting to catch on. For some reason it seems to fit this little girl's personality... sweet and goofy. Man I love this little girl. She has all of us, including Asher, wrapped around her little finger and knows how to get what she wants using her feminine charms... and if that fails... tantrums. She is getting really good at tantrums.

This picture was taken way back at Thanksgiving. She is riding the American Girl doll horse at my dad's house. She figured this out herself. Like I said... she is sort of a goof.

All ready to go cross- country skiing. She loves it. Asher on the other hand screams the whole way. We tried to take them a few weeks ago and it took us an hour to go 1/4th of a mile because Asher decided he didn't want to ride on the sled and that he wanted to walk. He kept sinking in the snow and screaming the whole time. We've since got him a fancier sled and he likes it a bit more. Hopefully Rose keeps up her love of cross country skiing because we would love it if one day we made it a family tradition.

Wearing Asher's underwear... don't ask.

We think that Rose might have a milk allergy because for the last several months she has had a really runny nose, runny stools, and was throwing up a lot-- at least once or twice a day. A few weeks ago a friend was talking about her little boy and his milk allergy and a little light bulb went off in my head. As I was researching milk allergies I also found that one of the tell-tell signs of a milk allergy is that it is a child's favorite food. The article I read said that children with food allergies often crave the foods they are allergic to. Rose is a milk and cheese-a-holic.

We've taken her off cows milk the last few weeks and it really seems to be helping. She has stopped throwing up and doesn't have a runny nose anymore. Yesterday though I gave her some pudding that had milk in it-- I caved and gave into a tantrum-- and a few hours her runny nose was back. I'm thinking we are on to something with this.

Do you think she will hate me some day for posting this picture?

Oh, well.

I know it seems WAY early but Rose has really been interested in potty training lately. Several times a day she pats her bottom and says "poo". At first I ignored her thinking she was way to little to start using the potty, but then just a few minutes after she told me she was "poo" she pooped her pants. It has happened several times since. I've been trying to put her on the potty now when she tells me she needs to go. She's only gone once-- and that was sort of fluke-- but I think she is getting ready.

Is 17 and half months way too early to be potty training? I've heard that girls sometimes are ready much earlier than boys. Any suggestions on this one?

Siblings

My two ragamuffins are starting to become good friends. Every day they crack me up. They are double the trouble-- and double the fun. They remind me so much of my little brother and me. It gives me great joy to think about how much they will love each other when they are older.

This picture was taken shortly after Asher called "Mommy, come see the baby do." I went in the kitchen and found that Rose had opened the fridge, found a spoon and was taking scoops out of my freshly made peanut butter bars. Apparently Asher didn't mind helping her.

They both LOVE wearing goggles when we go swimming, especially Rose. They don't fit her head at all, but I think she likes seeing the world in a different color.

Play dough... Rose eats it. Asher smashes it into the carpet. Great fun. They love playing it though so we get it out a lot.

I love how intent her face is here. She insisted on sitting on a chair even though she can hardly see above the table!

I can't wait until it gets warm enough to go outside. We are all going stir crazy. Asher and Rose spend a good portion of the day chasing each other around the house. It would be so much nicer if they could do it in the yard. Alas, we still have a good three months of winter ahead of us.

Somehow we will survive.

Don't Laugh

If this was longer we would probably send it into America's Funniest Home videos.
And don't worry, Rose landed on the pillow and was totally fine.
For some reason this just makes me giggle... a lot.

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

Every Christmas Jon's family always re-enacts the Nativity story. This year we though we'd let Asher and Rose be the stars. It was quite the performance.

Here is Rose all dressed up as Mary. I think she looks so angelic.

We didn't really get a good picture of Asher because he was hyped on Christmas spirit. I'm impressed that their Uncle Aaron got them calmed down enough for this one.

I think this was the most lively and crazy Christmas pageant I've ever witnessed. The climax came when they gave Mary (aka. Rose) baby Jesus and she promptly snatched him out of the manger, snuggled him for about 1.5 seconds, threw him over he shoulder, and then started to climb into the manger herself. It was pretty hilarious.

We might need to work on her nurturing skills one day :)

I apologize for the blurry picture I was taking it on my phone in night mode, so it isn't the best but you can still see all the action.

The other best part was when Mary almost demolished the city of Bethlehem. Skip to second 50 if you can't stand the rest of the chaos.

What a great Christmas.

The Thread of Life

In Greek Mythology some of the most powerful Godessess, even possessing power above Zeus himself, were The Fates. The Fates were three women who determined when life would begin, what happened in between and when it would end. The youngest Fate, Clotho, was a maiden and she spun the thread of life. Lachesis, the matron, measured the thread of life and Atropos, the crone, cut the thread of life. Between the three of them these Goddesses held the fate of all mankind in their hands.

Last week I had a miscarriage. I was a little over three months pregnant-- almost 13 weeks-- my baby would have been due around the 4th of July, my birthday.

The thread of life is so fragile.

This baby was very loved and very wanted. Our home is open to all the children God wants to send and Jon and I are willing to accept children whenever the Lord is ready to send them.

Jon and I both felt so strongly that this baby coming was a little boy, but I guess now we won't ever know. In mind my mind he is still a boy. Having him gone has left a little hole in my heart and in our home. We were at my in-laws house for Christmas and whenever we rounded up our kids I kept looking for someone else. It felt so strange. I'd have to remind myself that I only had two children (even typing this I almost typed three children) and I each time I felt the loss a little deeper.

The last week has been a roller coaster for me and I know that writing things out will be good therapy for me. I know that reading other women's miscarriage stories has helped me a lot and so I'm writing this in case it helps someone else--and to make sense out of my world.

I started bleeding on Sunday evening. It was somewhat light and I didn't have any cramping and so I was hopeful that it wasn't any thing serious, but deep in my heart I knew that it was all over. I called my midwife on Monday morning, as early as was decent, and asked if instead of coming in for our first pre-natal appointment on Tuesday we could come in and see her that day. When we went in she checked for a heart beat with her Doppler, and even though she tried for almost 2o minutes, she was unable to find anything. I think we both knew but didn't want to say the word out loud. She said that I could go in and get an ultrasound if I wanted to so that we would know for sure. I really didn't want to go get an ultrasound and so I told her we would probably just wait things out-- we would know one way or the other pretty soon. As we left she gave me a big hug and told me to call her anytime if I had questions or needed help and to know that no matter what happened she would be there for me and that she loved me.

On Tuesday the bleeding continued but seemed to be lessening and I still didn't have any cramping. I was hopeful that things would be fine. Jon and his cousin gave me a priesthood blessing in which I was told that the baby would be alright, but what God meant by "alright" I had no idea. It was so hard not knowing one way or the other. I think it was one of the hardest "waitings" I've ever had in my life and it really took a toll on my soul. I couldn't cry and I couldn't rejoice. I was somewhere in limbo in between and it was hard... really hard.

On Wednesday morning the cramps started and by then there was no doubt in my mind what was happening.

My baby was gone.

I was devastated but a little part of me was relieved-- at least now I knew what was happening, I was out of limbo, but I still couldn't cry. It was early morning and for a long time I laid in bed and tried to ignore the cramps. They were something I'd never experienced before. They didn't feel like regular menstrual cramps because they came in "waves" like labor contractions but there wasn't any strength to them like a contraction. Those cramps were something different all together and I hope I don't ever feel them again. They were really painful but since they came in waves like labor contractions I knew how to handle them. I just took one at a time. Eventually Jon woke up and held my hand while I laid on the bed with my feet hanging over the side and he got me a hot pad to put on my back. We didn't say anything and in an hour they were over. I got up and sat on the toilet and felt a huge gush of blood and felt something big slip out of me.

It was a placenta.

Almost the instant the baby left me I broke out in uncontrollable sobs. Jon came running in and helped clean me up and got me on the couch. I think I'd been clinging to the small hope that everything would be all right and then once it was gone I finally was able to cry, and cry, and cry. Asher and Rose had woken up and Asher was really concerned about what had happened to me. Jon told him that the baby had gone back to Heavenly Father and he kept patting me on the cheek and telling me "stop crying mama, be better." It was heartbreaking and somewhat comforting for me to see the placenta. I realized that it had been a living baby and that my body had created this placenta and a tiny little body. Each one of my children had once passed through that very same stage... and this one never would.

I cried for a few hours and then, unexpectedly, I felt so much better. I felt a great wave of peace come over me and I knew that things were in God's hands. I felt the presence of my unborn son and felt his love and gratitude for me. For some reason I do not understand the time is not yet right for him to come to earth, but when it is, he will be back. Knowing that, which I do deep in my soul, makes it hard to be too devastated over our loss. My heart aches and my womb is empty but I know that God is in perfect control of the universe and that he is in perfect control of when his children come to this world. The timing of our lives is such a delicate thread and a few days, a few months, a few years might make all the difference in a person's life or in the history of the world. Who am I to question or play with God's timing? I'm trying really hard not to.

Life is in God's hands and he is the one who spins it, measures it and cuts it.

Still, part of me deeply aches for the child who will not be.

Little boy, our hearts, our home and our lives are wide open for you and for anyone else who wants to come.

Whenever you are ready... we are here.

The Big Squat, a Birthday, and the Water Balloon Cake

My husband turned 29.

Wow.

That is almost 30.

Crazy.

He should probably graduate.

If you will remember from last year his birthday also happens to be World Toilet Day. Which when your name is Jon and you are an Environmental Engineer emphasizing in waster water is just too good to be true.

Every November 19th The World Toilet Organization sponsors events all over the world called "The Big Squat", in which people publicly squat for a minute, to draw awareness to the 2.5 billion people in the world (40% of the world's population) who don't have any form of sanitation. Last year we did a Big Squat, but it consisted of me, Jon, Asher and baby Rose squatting in our dinning room. This year Jon told me that all he wanted for his birthday was to organize a Big Squat event up on the university.

So we did.

Before the squat Jon talked about the plight of people in the world and how this "was a unserious way to talk about a serious issue." While we were squatting one of Jon's professors talked to us about the seriousness of the problem and how more people (mostly children) die every year from diarrheal diseases (caused by poor or no sanitation) than from HIV and malaria combined. He said as we squatted there for a minute four people would have died from totally preventable diseases. It really is such a tragedy that people don't have access to these basic sort of human needs. It is something that we take SO much for granted here in the United States. We don't realize how privileged we are and how grateful we should be for the ability to have safe water and safe sanitation.

We got a lot of interesting stares, but it made people stop and ask questions. It was so much fun for me to see Jon get to share his passion with other people. It really isn't a glamorous topic, most people would just like to never have to think about it, and so it was fun to see the light go on in people's minds and for them to catch the importance of what Jon and his colleagues are doing. We had about 25 people come and the local and campus newspaper, which was pretty good considering it was just Jon and I organizing it and we only started to advertise it on Thursday. Next year I think one of the engineering clubs on campus is going to sponsor it and turn it into a bigger event. I think Jon would be thrilled if that was the only legacy he left behind when he graduates.

The rest of Jon's birthday was really great too. I got overambitious with his cake and made two this year because Jon's cousin had a great idea for a prank. She suggested making a cake and hallowing it out inside and then putting a water balloon inside that would pop when you cut the cake. It sounded like fun and so I tried it out. I made the most hideous cake possible (not on purpose) and hid a balloon inside. I told Jon that I'd tried to make a toilet paper roll cake but that it hadn't worked out and that I was sorry he was going to have to have such an ugly cake.

He had no idea there was a balloon in it until he started cutting it. I probably should have given him a sharper knife so it would have popped easier but still it was really hilarious. It was one of the best pranks I've ever pulled.

After he'd popped the other cake then I brought out his real cake which I'd hidden in the cupboard. In keeping with our newly established tradition it was toilet themed. I'm definitely not a professional cake decorator by any means but I think my toilet paper roll turned out kind of cute. ( I found a great recipe for making fondant out of marshmallow cream if you ever need it)

I'll admit that I was sort of hesitant to turn Jon's birthday into a "World Toilet Day" celebration as well. Yet seeing that it is what Jon is going to be doing for the rest of his life-- and has such a passion for it-- I guess it is sort of appropriate. Besides, it sure makes the day much more interesting.

Happy Birthday Sir!

Halloween with the Flintstones

Jon and I decided way back in July that we would have to be the Flintstones this year for Halloween. If we missed this chance we might never again have two children just the right ages, hair color, and temperament to be Bam Bam and Pebbles.

We made a cardboard car for our neighborhood "Trunk or Treat", the rain sort of melted it, but other than that it turned out pretty cute. It made me feel SO OLD though when none of the children knew who the Flintstones were! Really, can you believe that?! Now I'm just waiting for the songs I listened to in High School start being played on the "Oldies" station! Scary.

I know what you are thinking. You gave Asher a huge stick!?! Yes, it was sort of scary, but luckily he forgot to carry it most of the time so now damage was done.

Trunk or treating was a lot more fun this year because Asher really got into it. Rose was pretty good at it too. Every time she saw a bowl full of candy she would lean forward in Jon's arms, flap her arms and say "ooh, ooh, ooh,". The only problem is that she wanted to eat every piece of candy that went into her bucket and threw a fit when she didn't have enough hands to hold it all.
We tried not to let them eat too much candy but somehow by the end of the night they were WIRED. Really, I've never seen Asher so crazy in his whole life. We ended up confiscating the candy and have been dolling it out little by little (and to ourselves:)

This is my favorite picture of the day. Every time I took the sucker out of her hair she stuck it back in. I guess she wanted to save it for later.

Well Happy Halloween and hope you all had a good holiday!

Lately

My babies are growing up so fast. It seems like every day they surprise me with something new. Rose especially is developing such a cute little personality. Her vocabulary has expanded to included "da da", "ma" (which can mean either Mom, more or milk-- actually I think in her mind they are all the same word), "dog", "Aaaa (Asher)", "uh-oh", and two days ago during family prayer she surprised us when she said "Amen".

She loves jewelry and in Relief Society she travels around collecting every one's necklaces. It is also cute to see how she loves to be dressed up and admired. The other day we went to The Children's Place and I had her try on the cutest little fur coat. She loved it and ran around the store looking at herself in the mirror and didn't want to take it off. I think this is a bad sign of things to come! I wish the coat hadn't been so expensive. It was adorable.

She has also turned into such a little stinker. She knows EXACTLY what buttons to push to make her brother mad and she loves to push them. There isn't anything she loves more in this world that stealing one of Asher's favorite toys, making a mad dash away, while giggling the whole time. Asher and Rose have started to play together lately and it melts my heart. The other day they were being super quiet while I was making dinner and when I went in to check on them I found Asher looking at his books and Rose sitting next to him looking through her book. Those are the pay day moments of motherhood.

Asher is really turning to a little boy. He is speaking so well and other people can actually understand him most of the time now. He has been super possessive of his toys and has latched on to a few that he has to carry around with him all the time. Jon gave him one of his old tool bags to put some of his toy tools in and Asher keeps adding stuff to it. It is getting so heavy now that he can hardly tote it around. Still, it goes EVERYWHERE with us. It seems like every two seconds I hear "Mom, where is my tool baggy!" My life is a constant search for it.

He also has a "dumpin the dirt" (a front end loader) truck that is fused to his hand and has to go to bed with him. He also puts the phrase "I will" at the end of everything he says. Like " Asher have a cookie, I will." "Asher go to the D.I, (he loves the D.I.) I will." "I be mad, I will."

Last Sunday he wanted to wear a tie to church so that he could be like his Daddy. He was the proudest little boy you've ever seen. He strutted into church and even grabbed a program for the greeter. He told everyone at church that he was big like his Daddy. We might need to get him a tie that actually matches his shirt one of these days.

Our community does an annual "Pumpkin Walk" at one of the local parks and we went for the first time this year. It was wonderful. I was so impressed with all the scenes people were able to create out of pumpkins. I think my favorite was this Charlie Brown one.

Do you notice Asher's open mouth? That is how he smiles when you ask him to smile for the camera. He's been doing it since he was little. I'm not quite sure why, but is kind of hilarious.

I also loved this one with the mother pig and her babies. So creative!

This was my favorite cut-out. I especially love how Rose's face is squashed!

Jon's dad came up a few days ago and took Asher fishing at the reservoir up the road from our house. Asher was super excited about "catchin a fisky" but his interest didn't last too long. After a few casts he informed grandpa that "I don't see no fiskies, they seeping" but he loved spending time with his grandpa.

I love this picture. What a cute little boy I have. It breaks my heart to see how big he is getting. I wish I could slow him down just a little bit. I used to laugh when my parents said I'd grown up too fast, but now I understand-- 18 is going to come way too soon for me.

Transformations

After many (okay years) of hard work we finally have a yard! Just in time for it to snow. In case you don't remember here is what our backyard looked like last spring

It took us all last summer to tear down the shed and clean up the huge mess left in our backyard by the previous owner. This spring we added top soil and tilled up our rock hard soil. Here is Jon leveling it with the contraption he welded together.

All ready for planting-- about July.

Here is what it looked like two days ago.

It has been so nice to have a backyard instead of a scary shed and a big mud pile. We've really enjoyed it so much the few weeks and hopefully all the grass will grow back next spring!

I've also been working on re-finishing my dining room table and chairs. It has been a big project but I love how it turned out.

Here is what the chairs looked like before (sorry, Britt, this is the only "before" picture I could find of the chairs)

Ugly huh? Here they are after I painted and glazed them and my wonderful aunt came and helped me re-upholster the seat covers.

I also redid the top of my dining room table. I bought the table for $25 dollars a few years ago because the veneer was chipping off. I sanded it down and painted it, glazed it and put polyurethane on the top. I love how it turned out. It is feels really nice to finally have a table and chairs that actually match.

Jon and I got a lot accomplished this summer and I am sort of glad that it is getting cold because then it means an end to projects. Oh, just kidding. We still have an upstairs bathroom to finish. I guess we'll have projects this winter too. Good thing we like projects.