Not Another Sad Post... I Promise

After posting two sad and disheartened posts in a row I figure I better try to redeem myself so that you don't all think I've sunk into the depths of despair. I haven't, it is just that it has been a really hard and disappointing week. Sometimes those weeks happen and I've decided that when they do it is okay to be sad for awhile. But I am feeling better already and really, overall, I feel blessed and have learned some valuable life lessons. I can't really put into one simple concise sentence the lessons I've learned this week, but I want to try to put it into words somehow... so here I go...

Life Lesson #1

I feel a little silly that I've been so emotional and sentimental about my chickens, because really they are just chickens and can be replaced fairly easily. But I've noticed that when I am pregnant any form of life seems so much more precious to me. There is something about carrying a new life that makes me appreciate and value life, in all its forms, so much more. Having this little girl inside of me makes me look at the world with different eyes, and I find myself so much more full of love for all living things. I think this is why loosing our chickens last week has been so hard on me. Life just seems more precious now than ever before, and I realize how fragile and fleeting it is.

Yet, I've also realized that no sorrow lasts forever and that there are ALWAYS new beginnings. This quote from Elder Wirthlin's last General Conference talk has continuously been on my mind. He said:

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude. "

I realize that life will always go forward and that there will always be new joys. We may not be able to have exactly what we had before, and it is okay to mourn for that loss, but God will always help us find a way to heal our hearts and to be at peace.

But I have four NEW little chicken ladies, which have gone a long way to heal my heart again! Last week I found a lady who was selling her year old hens and who happened to have the EXACT same breeds as the ones we lost. So we got half back of what we had before. They are older and are already laying eggs. We like to think that they are just our chickens but grown up-- really fast. We've taken extra precautions to keep them safe from raccoons and Jon is working on a super duper new chicken run and coop. I think I am also going to get some more chicks from the farm store this week--- and they are going to be Silkies! (These aren't my birds, but I like pictures of Silkies so I thought I'd put it up :)

So, see... there are always new joys to be found in life.

Life Lesson #2

I've learned that things can ALWAYS be worse than they are, and that when hard things happen I need to learn to look for the good that comes from them. Even though it has been really painful and really hard to have this broken foot, I find myself grateful every minute that it was me and not my little boy who got stuck under the beam. It really gives me nightmares to think about how close he came being crippled or crushed by the beam. It doesn't make sense to me that it didn't tip over on him because I barely moved the beam and it fell, while he had been climbing all over them that morning. God really is merciful and so despite my pain I am filled with gratitude.

I've also been SO humbled and grateful for the wonderful people in our church who have reached out to me with sympathy (I've had 3 other women come up and tell me that they also broke their foot when they were pregnant and that they could sympathize with me-- I guess it is more common that I would have thought!) , with offers to watch my son, to help me around the house, to bring me dinner, or to just come over and sit with me for awhile. Being on the receiving end of so much love and kindness makes me want to be a better friend and neighbor. I think it will be harder now to justify not taking someone a meal or not visiting them or not offering to help when I feel prompted. Because now I realize HOW much it is appreciated and HOW much someone might need help, even if they don't ask you for it. I feel blessed to have so much support around me.

So overall I am doing fine and am sort of enjoying being able to slow down for a little while. I'm praying that my foot heals fast and that I won't have to be on crutches too long. The doctor told me that if I am good and stay off it I might be able to walk on it in 3 weeks. Even though this is frustrating I've decided to have a positive attitude about it and to make the most out of what God wants me to learn at this time in my life. Thank you for all your kind words of support, it means a lot to me... oh, and stay away from raccoons and I-beams!