Published! At last

My essay "Abraham's Tent" just came out in the BYU Studies Journal this month! So now I am officially a PUBLISHED AUTHOR... wow. It is kind of an empowering feeling. Especially after all the time and heartache I put into it.

For those of you who don't remember-- this is the essay that won 2nd place in the BYU Studies Personal Essay Contest last year. I wrote a little about what the essay means to me here. As I went back and read the essay just a little while ago it brought back all the struggles I had in writing it. For about a month this essay completely consumed my life. I felt driven to give voice to what was burning in my heart. The problem was that whenever I tired to write it down it always seemed inadequate. I really came to understand why Nephi (and other prophets) ask us to forgive them for the weakness of their writing. There are just some things so spiritual and near to our hearts that words will never be able to do them justice. About a week before it was due I still hadn't gotten it all pulled together, and I knew I had to. I decided that I was going to start a fast and wouldn't end it till I had finished the essay, or at least had something I was proud of. It took me almost two days but it got finished, and I really felt that I had captured a bit of what was in my soul.

I initially wrote the essay for the Elie Wiesel Essay Contest on Ethics-- it made it to the top 60 (which I don't mean to brag-- but I will-- is REALLY fantastic because they receive several thousand entries) but it didn't win. I'll be honest, I was a tad bit devastated. I thought for sure that after all I had gone through to write it God must have intended it to change the world or at least win a few thousand dollars:) After the contest was over I didn't really know what to do with the essay, all I knew is that I REALLY wanted it to be published. Then my wonderful Aunt suggested I submit it to the BYU Journal; I did, and the rest is history. What a great feeling it is to see a bit of my soul out there in print, for other people to read and think about. They put my email address at the end of the article and I really, really hope that I get some responses back about it!

My high school journalism teacher had a quote on his wall that said "All writing is an act of ego" and after seeing my name in print I think I have to agree. It makes me want to write for publication more and more-- and you know I think I will. I just have to figure out what to do next! Anyway, for those of you who are interested in getting a copy of it (mostly this is for my family) you can buy a copy of it here. It is in the January edition-- even though it came out in March... go figure. Also I have a link to a google document of it which you can access here, but you have to get my permission first before you can view it.