We are moving tomorrow. It is going to be REALLY hard for me to leave. I knew when we moved in a little over a year ago that we wouldn't be here for very long, but I didn't expect my heart to get so attached to people and to places. It has never been so hard for me to say goodbye before. I guess it is because I've made friends with several of the old ladies in our ward and I know that when I say goodbye, it is goodbye for good. That is hard.
It is also going to be hard to leave this apartment, not only because we have great neighbors and friends, but because this is the house where Asher was born. One of my friends who also had a home birth wrote a post entitled "A Baby Was Born Here" and I think she really summed up how I feel about this apartment. It really is a sacred place to me, and sometimes when I am sitting in my front room I get flashbacks (good ones) to me lying in the birth pool staring at the Christmas tree with Jon stroking my hair, me making a figure 8 pacing pattern in the hallway while holding my belly, me sitting on the toilet in my fleece PJs, and me squatting against the bed posts with Jon and the midwife squeezing my hips. Mostly I remember the sacred and peaceful feeling our home had for days after Asher was born, and how I felt like a queen.
I believe that the place where a baby is born does become sacred, because for a few moments the bridge between heaven and earth is WIDE open and life begins. That doesn't happen ANYWHERE else on earth except in the places where babies are born. It is going to be hard to leave this place behind. But I guess I can console myself by realizing that someday I'll be able to bring Asher back and show him where he was born. I could even put my foot on the exact spot.
I hope several more babies will be born at our new house in Logan-- if so maybe I'll have to get a sign to put on my door that says "A Baby Was Born Here". It'd be a good conversation starter :)
6 years ago
3 comments:
wow! i had no idea you gave birth at home, but it all makes sense now, all the posts about midwifery ;). that must have been an awesome experience. you are very brave!!!! i can imagine how hard it would be to leave this kind of a special place behind. i never thought about giving birth the way you describe in your post, but it makes total sense.
I hope your move went well! I always feel like an uprooted houseplant when we move--very, very sad until I'm replanted, but always aware of the little bit of soil from the old pot still clinging to my roots.
I love the pictures of Asher.
Well, good luck with the move I hope all goes well with you. I agree with you that giving birth is something very sacred. We may not think it at the time, but what an awesome thing it is to be a mother to one of Heavenly Father's children.
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